It wasn’t that long ago when divorce was relatively uncommon and
most people’s households looked pretty similar. Mother. Father.
Children. Everyone lived under the same roof. Dad worked, maybe Mom too.
Pretty simple. Your neighbor’s family looked like this and their
neighbor’s did too.
Somewhere along the line this all stopped, however. Families began to change.
Divorce became more common. Some people even stopped getting married before cohabitating.
Depending on the source you consider, households are more likely now to
be comprised of unmarried people living together than married people living
together. Times and people change.
That doesn’t mean that these sort of blended or non-nuclear families
are better or worse- just different. Those differences come to bear when
you consider the rights and duties each parent has to their children and
to their step children. In today’s blog post from the
Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC we will go over information regarding step-families. It would be nice
if these families had no differences from the sort of families that were
more commonplace in years past, but that simply isn’t the case.
Before you start a life within one you should consider the content of
this blog post first.
What are your rights and duties regarding your own children and your step-children
Saying that you feel the same towards your step-children as you do your
own children is a nice sentiment in and of itself, but the law does not
hold you to that. Indeed, if you were to divorce the parent of your step
children you would not be under any sort of obligation to provide for
that child financially before, during or after the divorce.
Another aspect to this situation to keep in mind is that if your ex-spouse
has remarried or is living with another person, there is the possibility
that the child support you pay to him or her is being used to pay for
things having to do with a child that is not yours. There is little to
no recourse for you in this situation as the Texas Family Code does not
have anything to say on this subject.
Finally, consider a situation that a recent client of ours has run into.
He and his wife divorced three years ago and since then his ex-wife has
moved in with another man. That man has a child from a prior relationship
who is addicted to drugs and is extremely violent. Our client was forced
to file a modification of their divorce decree to attempt to put some
safeguards into place. He attempted to limit the contact that his children
would have with this other child.
These are typical issues that can arise in non-nuclear, non-traditional
families. Be aware of what you are getting into before deciding to engage
in a long term relationship with another person. Also, make sure you are
talking to your children frequently about issues in their other parent’s
home if you are aware of a change in the living arrangements. If your
ex-husband has brought in a girlfriend who has a child you need to be
aware as much as possible of the habits of that child in case he or she
poses a potential threat to your own children.
How are the parenting roles going to be shared in your new home?
If you are living a post-divorce life and decide to seriously consider
marrying another person you need to have an honest conversation with that
person about what the roles will be as far as parenting in your new home.
An understanding is needed as far as how you will be caring for your own
children and how your spouse will be caring for his/her.
In the age of huge college expenses, how will you all plan to save for
college for each child? Will you be supporting these children financially
after high school in any way? Before making decisions on your own and
hoping that your new spouse agrees with your plan, talk to him or her
first. If you all cannot agree on the role that each of you will play
in your children’s lives then it may be a good time to seek pre-marital
counseling. After all, if you and your spouse get a divorce later on and
do not agree on how your money was spent you may be facing a potential
reimbursement claim for all the money you chose to spend on your child
over and above what your spouse was comfortable with.
Get your agreements in writing
Texans, by our nature, are self-reliant and independent. Even if you’re
not from the state originally, I think once you cross the borders in our
state something happens where you become a little more self sufficient.
In many ways this is a good thing, but in the context of family law cases
it probably is not. Oral agreements/contracts are very difficult to enforce.
There is no clear definition of the terms of the agreement and no indication,
therefore, that there was complete agreement on each point. Your oral
contract will probably not be worth much, as a result.
With that said, the law in Texas provides for spouses to enter into both
premarital and postmarital agreements that encompass a wide range of subjects. These
agreements allow for you and your spouse to know ahead of a divorce or
death just how financial assets are to be treated and in some cases how
family dynamics are to be as well.
For instance, if you and your spouse are firm in your wanting to make sure
that your step child and their child is cared for sufficiently after the
age of 18 a good way to ensure that this happens is to create a postmarital
or premarital agreement. You can, before it gets to the point of an argument,
decide how a child or step child is to be treated once a divorce begins.
Costs like schooling, extracurricular activities, medical bills and other
commonly encountered subjects can be dealt with in this manner rather
than by a bunch of haggling at the time of a divorce.
It is terrific if you are in a position where you are able to help care
for a step child after your divorce from their parent. If you are willing
to do so you can make a huge impact on that child’s life. However,
you are not legally obligated under any of our family code to do so. Your
spouse will likely want some sort of written agreement in place to make
sure you are held to your word.
No two families are alike, no one type of family is the best in all regards
Thank you for your interest this increasingly relevant topic. I think it
is safe to say that as non-traditional families become more commonplace
the need to discuss the sort of specific issues these families face has
become more commonplace as well. The important thing for you to keep in
mind as you make decisions in your post divorce life is that you do not
have to do anything that is not in your or your children’s best
interests.
While you may feel strongly about a person you are in a relationship with,
it is critical to consider their family, their children and your future
life together before committing to a marriage. This scenario can seriously
complicate the life you lead with your children and can lead to many problems,
potentially. Use your head and talk to an experienced family law attorney
if you have any questions on this subject.
Considering a second marriage? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC before
saying “I do”
If you are considering a second marriage, before you do
contact the attorneys with the
Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC. We can answer any questions that you might have and let you know what
legal consequences could be in store for you based on your specific circumstances.
Our attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week in our
office. We take great pride in meeting with and helping people in our
community, just like you.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
