Every one of us has a friend, co worker, or family member who has been through a divorce. It has become commonplace for marriages to drift towards divorce for a variety of reasons in our country.
Misery loves company and those people that you know are probably just as willing to discuss their divorce as the people that I know. There is something therapeutic about letting it all out and sharing your concerns and experiences with someone else. For this I don’t fault those folks that are going through what will likely prove to be one of the most difficult times in their lives.
What fault I do take, however, is that much of the information that you hear is not accurate or reasonable to expect if you are facing a divorce of your own. Sure- extreme circumstances do come up and happen to some people and for that we should all have some degree of sympathy. However, much of what we hear about divorce is not actually true.
This blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is like having a talk with your parents about something when you were a kid vs. hearing about it on the playground. Sure, we are tempted to think about what our friends say on the playground as being more accurate because it may be more graphic or detailed.
However, our friends are prone to embellish or misremember things. Your parents wanted to present you with factual information without any of the need to exaggerate. This purpose of this blog post is to present you all with relevant information about two areas of divorce that I have encountered numerous misconceptions in practicing family law.
Mothers always win custody of the children
This is a notion that is not only perpetuated by people that we all know in our daily lives, but by television and movies. The mother is always the picture of good parenting and temperance while fathers are portrayed as at best lackadaisical and at worst abusers and neglectors of children and their soon to be spouse. While there certainly are circumstances where this is true, for the most part from my experience fathers are just as likely to be engaged and loving parents as mothers.
In the “old days” mothers were absolutely given more of a chance to win primary custody or conservatorship of their children. Today that is not the case, however. If any of you reading this blog post are fathers you should know that no court in Texas will give any sort of advantage, procedural or otherwise, to your wife in a custody battle.
The fact is that there is a presumption that it is in your child’s best interest that you and your soon to be ex spouse share in the rights and duties to raising him or her.
As a father, if you want your child to reside with you primarily then you need to ask the court for this to be done and stand up to your wife if a challenge to your ability to do so commences. So often I have seen fathers simply back down when the going gets tough in a custody determination.
If you have a good relationship with your child, have been physically present to help raise him or her and have no history of abuse or neglect there is no reason why you can’t win primary conservatorship of your child.
If you file for divorce then prepare for a courtroom dispute
Nobody ever tells you about the time they went to mediation and settled their divorce amicably in a few hours time on a random weekday morning. The juicy, interesting stories always involve your friend having to “duke it out” with their spouse in a courtroom that was teeming with emotion and anger.
The judge in their case had to step in and decide the outstanding issues and your friend either got the worst deal in the history of the world or the best one because he or she was so smart.
Again, this may have happened but it is unlikely to occur in your divorce. I realize that divorce is an emotional, difficult process that we would not wish upon our worst enemy in most situations.
However, the vast majority of divorce cases in Texas conclude in a mediator’s office rather than in a courtroom. After a few weeks or a few months of a divorce case it is most likely that you and your spouse will be more willing to negotiate a settlement than be willing to risk a lot of money and the well being of your children on having a judge decide your case.
Judges absolutely mean well but he or she will not have the time or ability to pick out arrangements in the areas of child custody, child support, property and debt division and everything else in a divorce and then come up with orders that suit you and your spouse.
Only you and your spouse know all the issues in your case and despite your current animosity towards one another only you two can carve out an agreement that will work the absolute best for your family’s circumstances. If you have to go in front of judge to have your case decided then so be it. However, it is unlikely that this will occur and is unfortunate in most instances if it has to.
Questions about your divorce or any area of family law? Please contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today
Divorce is not easy but it can be easier if you have the assistance and experience of an attorney on your side. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan represents clients across southeast Texas in contested and uncontested divorce cases. For a free of charge consultation please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today.
A licensed family law attorney will be happy to meet with you to discuss any questions you have and to talk with you about our firm and the services that we can provide you with.
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our Divorce lawyers in Spring TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.