Yesterday morning the Law Office of Bryan Fagan posted a blog regarding some helpful tips that could help you with your child’s adjustment to attending school after you and your spouse have divorced. Today’s blog post will touch on additional tips that you will hopefully find to be helpful as well.
As always, if you have any questions upon reading this blog post please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. One of our licensed family law attorneys is available six days a week to meet with you to address those questions and provide answers in a free of charge consultation.
Stability is key for the success of your children in school
As adults, we sometimes think that our schedules could use some variance. Doing the same thing every day of the workweek and then settling into a routine on weekends does not sound like “fun”. However, just as routine is important for the health and well being of adults, it is even more important for children.
Children thrive on stability and consistency. Treating your children the same after the divorce as before will show them that things have not changed as much as they may believe. Disciplining them and enforcing your own “house rules” will have the same effect and provide structure for the children.
One bit of advice if at all possible for you and your spouse is to still live close together. This will minimize prolonged periods of travel in order to see each parent. For example, if you live in Katy and your ex spouse moves to The Woodlands, that can be a terrible drive during pick up/drop off times in the late afternoons on Friday and Sunday. In choosing to live close to one another, you and your ex spouse can show your children that their interests come first and that you are mature enough to put aside any differences that may exist between the two of you.
Finally, living close to one another can be beneficial in the event of an emergency or other situation that requires one parent to be away from the children. Suppose your children end up living with you during the school week but you are called away on business without any notice.
Contacting your ex spouse to arrange for him or her to pick up your children from school and to provide care while you are away is made much simpler if you live close to one another.
Family roles should remain the same- as much as possible
With the makeup in your family now in flux, it is incredibly important to reinforce to your children that you and your ex spouse are still the parents and that they are still the children. From my experience I have seen divorced parents sometimes lean too heavily on their older children in order to provide support-physically and emotionally- for younger siblings.
It is great that your children may be able to rely on each other to an extent. However, I would advise you and your spouse to emphasize that even though you or your ex spouse may no longer be living in the home with the children every day, that doesn’t mean that your roles as caretaker, provider and confidant will change whatsoever.
Along these same lines, your children will respond positively, I believe, if you go out of your way to make sure that they have a place in your new home environment. This means that if you have moved from the family home and have taken up a new residence you can assign responsibilities that allow your children to feel like they are a part of your new home.
These don’t have to be major tasks to undertake. On the contrary, small jobs like sweeping the kitchen after a meal, doing dishes or giving the dog a bath will help your children to become more comfortable in your new home. Your praise of even a job not so well done can help reinforce those family-roles that I discussed earlier and increase their self confidence during a time where that may be extremely necessary for your children.
As a parent, show consistency in your words and actions
In the same way that you hold your children accountable for their actions, you need to hold yourself accountable as well. I’ll be that you have a rule in regard to homework, practicing an instrument or sport that you have instituted in your home. The same sort of discipline is needed for you to be able to provide the consistent leadership and stability that your children need in the time period immediately following a divorce.
This can mean arriving on time, every time it is your opportunity to pick up and drop off your children. Your ex spouse may never notice or thank you for this courtesy but your children will. It is easier for a child to emulate actions rather than mere words and if they see you consistently follow through with promises then it is likely that they will as well.
Consistency also means always showing a “good attitude” towards your ex-spouse, no matter how you feel about him or her on that particular day. Even the occasional crass word about your ex-spouse in front of the children can give the impression that it is ok to speak about other people in this way.
The bottom line is that school has not changed all that much from when you and I were in class to today. The same skills- hard work, consistency, determination- that helped us and our classmates succeed will help your child succeed as well. It may seem far-fetched for your actions at home to have a tremendous impact on your children in school, but I can assure you that there is a connection between the two.
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan- Advocates for Southeast Texas Families
Thank you for the opportunity to share with you our thoughts on the subject of practical tips to help your child succeed in school after a divorce. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan represents clients across southeast Texas and we would honored to speak to you about the services that our firm can offer you and your family.
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Other Articles you may be interested in:
- How to help your children succeed in school after a divorce
- Co parenting when you and your children live in different states
- How a Parenting Class Can Help Me and My Ex-spouse Co-parent in Texas?
- How to Co Parent with an Addict Ex-Spouse
- Post-Divorce Anger Issues: Co-parenting advice in difficult circumstances
- Co parenting when you and your children live in different states
- How Does Summertime Visitation Work for Divorced Parents in Texas?
- How does summer visitation work?
- 10 Quick Tips About Parental Visitation
- When Your Child's Extended Family Wants Visitation in Texas
- Supervised Visitation in a Texas Divorce: Can it happen to me?
- Grandparent Visitation Rights in Texas?
Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our Divorce lawyers in Spring TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.