From the time that I began practicing family law most clients and potential clients that I have had the opportunity to work with have had the belief that a judge will decide their divorce case. It could be that they’ve heard stories from friends and family who have had long, drawn out divorces where a judge actually did have to intercede when the parties themselves could not agree to settle their issues outside of court.
The other thing that I’ve often thought was that television and movies have for so long made the “courtroom drama” of a heated trial the centerpiece of so many plots. This is understandable. There is nothing all that exciting or tension filled about negotiating towards a settlement.
I’ll tell you one thing that negotiations are though: smart. Negotiating with your soon to be ex spouse about the issues that are important to your case is about the smartest decision either of you can make.
Now, I fully understand that you are probably upset with the opposing party in your divorce. They are “costing” you money, time and stress. You may believe that he or she is putting your children through a tough time that could have been avoided. The fact that you are having to sit in the room with a lawyer and discuss splitting your life in two and losing time with your children may make your blood boil.
However, negotiations more often than not lead to settlements which can avoid going to trial and having a judge (who doesn’t know your family at all) make decisions for you that will affect your lives for years to come.
An explanation of what mediation means for you and your family
It’s very easy to think that your spouse is the most stubborn, insufferable person on the planet when you are going through a divorce. I completely understand that. However, it may shock you to learn that the vast majority (I would estimate it at 90-95% of divorce cases) do not proceed to a trial and instead settle in mediation.
Mediation is formalized negotiation session in which you and your attorney and your spouse and their attorney meet with either a court appointed mediator/attorney or one mutually agreed to by you and your spouse. The purpose of this meeting is to have the mediator work with you and your spouse to negotiate and settle your divorce rather than proceed to a contested hearing with the judge.
Mediation is often court mandated prior to not only a final trial but also a temporary orders hearing. The mediator often times is a licensed attorney him or herself that practices family law on their own time but also works as a mediator to help others settle their divorce cases. Mediation is effective in helping to bring you and your spouse together on the important issues of your case.
So much of settlement negotiations is coming up with creative problem solving techniques and solutions that will assist your family in moving on to the next phase in your life. If there are complications regarding visitation or conservatorship rights that have not quite been fine tuned yet, a mediator can intercede and bring their own experiences to the table to assist with coming up with a solution.
Likewise, if there is a complicated issue in terms of your community estate- maybe a business needs to be divided up- then the issues inherent in that sort of scenario can also be worked on with little to no acrimony.
The fact of the matter is that you and your spouse are not going to be face to face in this setting. Rather, you will be in separate rooms with your attorney. Your mediator will act as a “ping pong ball” bouncing back and forth between both rooms to communicate offers and counter-offers.
This is especially helpful if you know going in that the level of animosity between you and your spouse is high. That doesn’t mean that you both can’t get past those emotions to settle your case. It just means that if you were having to negotiate in the same room a cross look across the table from your spouse to you could send the negotiation session into turmoil and ruin any chance of a settlement.
Additional benefits of mediation: A flexible time schedule and direct control over what is decided
Mediation schedules are typically four hours in length, though more complex cases can necessitate full day mediations. You and your spouse will pay a fee towards the mediator’s services but the fee will pale in comparison to the costs of having to prepare for and attend a contested hearing or trial.
This flexibility in time allows you to take your time in arriving at solutions. Often times mediators will allow you and your spouse to return at a reduced rate to wrap up negotiations and may even waive their fee if you are very close to settling.
Perhaps the most important aspect of mediation, in terms of an advantage for your family, is that mediation offers the sort of direct control over the process and settlement that a trial does not. Ultimately you are working to determine what the final orders in your case state.
These are the ground rules for the rest of your children’s lives prior to graduating from high school as well as how your property, debts and other financial assets will be divided upon divorce. Having a say so in the process is incredibly important even if you don’t get exactly what you are asking for. In a trial you may get just what you want but the odds are greater that neither you nor your spouse will walk out of a trial happy.
A judge intends to do their best but with limited time and resources he or she will need to make decisions that often times conflict with the individual needs of your family.
A mediated settlement agreement is final and binding. That means you nor your spouse can wake up the following morning after settling and tell your attorney you’re having second thoughts. As long as you understand this and are comfortable with that concept mediation is a terrific way to end a divorce that can be described as anything but terrific.
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan: Advocates for southeast Texas families
If you have any questions about divorce, mediation or family law in general please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We represent clients across southeast Texas and would be honored to do the same for you and your family. Please contact us today to set up a free of charge consultation where your questions can be answered.
If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “16 Steps to Help You Plan & Prepare for Your Texas Divorce”
If you want to know more about how to prepare, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “13 Dirty Tricks to Watch Out For in Your Texas Divorce, and How to Counter Them" Today!”
Other Articles you may be interested in:
- Dividing community property in mediation: What can be done to settle your divorce in Texas
- Mediation: What is it and how can it benefit my Texas Divorce?
- 3 Great Texas Divorce Mediation Ideas
- What is mediation?
- What is Divorce and Family Law Mediation in Spring and Houston Texas?
- 6 things You Need to Know Before You File for Divorce in Texas
- I Want a Texas Divorce but My Husband Doesn't: What can I do?
- Can I sue my spouse's mistress in Texas?
- 6 Tips - On How to prepare for a Texas Divorce
- Child Custody Basics in Texas
- 6 Mistakes that can Destroy Your Texas Divorce Case
Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Tomball, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Tomball, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Tomball TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Tomball, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.