Recently I had a consult with a man who had going through a divorce in which his wife has accused him of committing adultery. During the consult, he informed me that yes during the marriage he did have sex with some individuals other than his wife. However, he only participated in the swinger’s parties because it had been her idea.
It is not uncommon during a relationship for spouses even when innocent to be accused of having an affair. Sometimes those accusations will land you in a Texas divorce lawyer’s office. You may find unfairness of the accusations and emotions you are experiencing tough to deal with.
Sometimes the accusations are a result of:
- Your spouse’s insecurities or
- a diversion tactic by your spouse designed through you off guard of their bad behavior
Some of the things I have observed as a divorce lawyer regarding accusations of cheating is not uncommon for the accuser to be engaging in cheating themselves.
Alternatively, if someone is very insecure in the relationship they will start to accuse their partner of cheating. This insecurity can lead to other bad behavior such as stalking, snooping, listening in on phone calls, or hacking into emails. Behavior that ultimately drives a wedge in the relationship that causes a spouse to walk through my office door seeking a divorce.
Disputing the Accusations Will Not Make It Better
Another woman I met with recently is going through much of what I described. Her husband has placed a tracking device on her vehicle, listening devices all over her home, cameras all over the home, and has hacked her email account. She feels like a prisoner in her own home. When she was telling me, this I was thinking “no wonder she is here.” However, that bad behavior was not what brought her though my door it was the fact that he kept accusing her of cheating on him and she wasn’t.
She told me if she thought it would do any good she would try and prove to him that she wasn’t cheating. However, arguing her point had never helped it only made his behavior crazier.
It is Natural to Feel Guilty Even when You are Not
Despite the fact that she was not a cheater, she still felt guilty on some level. The woman I met with felt guilt that you could not do more to convince her spouse of her innocence and that her husband thought she was cheating.
She also felt guilt that she was in my office preparing to leave a marriage over something that never happened. However, his behavior was scarring her so that she no longer felt safe when he was around her or her children.
Free Yourself from Negativity
An important step to take to free yourself from these negative emotions is to realize it is your spouse is responsible they are the ones who created this situation and not you.
You might other consider seeking counselling for you and your children to help you with what you are feeling while going through the divorce. There many groups available for people such as you going through adivorce. My own church Second Baptist such a program “Divorce Recovery.”
“Divorce Recovery is a program designed to help individuals work through the issues associated with divorce. Each seminar is taught by licensed counselors and covers topics such as anger, self-esteem and boundaries. Whether you are separated, newly divorced, or have been divorced for many years, this program will meet you where you are in life.
For more information, please contact Lynn Roberts, firstname.lastname@example.org or 713-365-2335.”
What Is Adultery in Texas?
Under Texas Family Code section 6.003 adultery is a legal term in Texas that means the voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with one not the spouse.
Disproportionate Share of Property
Although, Texas is a no-fault divorce state which essentially means that neither party necessarily has to prove the other spouse did anything wrong in order to get a divorce.
However, fault grounds can be relevant in divorce when dividing the community property.
Amount and Duration of Spousal Support
However, if a spouse is eligible under the law to receive spousal support under Texas Law and a Judge is inclined to award spousal support then a Judge may consider marital fault when awarding the amount and duration of spousal support in the divorce.
Condonation of Adultery Section 6.008 – Defenses
Texas Family Code 6.008 states that “Condonation is a defense to a suit for divorce only if the court finds that there is a reasonable expectation of reconciliation.”
Various family law courts have also held that:
- Condonation is the act of forgiving another party for committing an offense that would constitute a ground for divorce, legally, it is as if the act had never been committed.
- In suites for divorce condonation has been used to forgive acts such as cruelty and adultery.
- To establish condonation the court must find that there is a reasonable chance of reconciliation requiring forgiveness by the offending party and repentance by the offender.
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Other Articles you may be interested on regarding Adultery
- When is, Cheating Considered Adultery in a Texas Divorce?
- Sex, Lies, Rock-and-roll, and Adultery in a Texas Divorce
- Can I Sue My Spouse for Mental Abuse in My Texas Divorce?
- 6 things You Need to Know Before You File for Divorce in Texas
- Texas Divorce Morality Clause: Be Careful What You Ask For
- Can I sue my spouse's mistress in Texas?
- What does Insupportability or No-Fault in a Texas Divorce Mean?
- The Simplified Process for an Uncontested Divorce in Texas
- Explaining the Contested Divorce Process in Texas
Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.