You may be thrown off by a
family law firm attorney writing a blog post on how to not get a
divorce, but your eyes are not fooling you. So often people get married due to
particular situations that they’ve put themselves in and not because
they are in a position in their lives to actual commit to another person.
We all know that nobody is perfect and I’m not here to try and tell
you otherwise. However, if you believe that a divorce is an inevitability
it rarely in fact is.
The attorneys with the
Law Office of Bryan Fagan would like to share with you some advice on how to either avoid entering
into a marriage that is destined for divorce or how to salvage a marriage
that already appears that way.
The couple that works at maintaining a strong relationship
If you are in a marriage the odds are good that you either have kids/a job/a
mortgage or some combination of these factors. My point is that most marriages
do not allow for you to spend one hundred percent of your attention on
your spouse. The ability for spouses to make time for one another are
the spouses that are able to avoid filing for divorce.
There is a theme that will be established with each piece of advice and
it begins here: nothing listed here is going to be easy. All of these
tips take actual effort and commitment to undertake. The faster you understand
this and begin to embody it the better your marriage will be for the long haul.
The couple that discusses financial issues together
It’s no secret that trust and communication are hallmarks of any
strong marriage. It’s also no secret that troubled finances can
quickly lead to a troubled marriage. Eliminate either risk to your marriage-
the failure to communicate/trust and the failure to fully disclose all
concerns with money- by openly and honestly discussing your finances with
This does not mean that you both have to be head over heels for math, spreadsheets
and budgeting. It does mean that both you and your spouse will need to
take active and involved roles in the determining the financial course
that your marriage will take. What are your goals, re:
retirement? How are you going to pay for your son’s football season and your
daughter’s first year of
college? How much should be spent at the grocery store each week? Big picture
and little picture items alike need to be discussed between you and your
spouse when it comes to money. If you can manage to do this your marriage
will be stronger for it.
Show your children how to be husband and wife AND mom and dad
Your children’s primary teachers in life are not found in the classroom,
in the church or on television. You and your spouse are their primary
teachers and role models. If you don’t think this is the case and
a divorce becomes your reality the State of Texas will make this abundantly
clear to you by outlining each and every responsibility you have as a
parent in Texas.
Many spouses focus so hard on their children that they forget how to actually
operate as a husband/wife with their spouse. Maybe you find yourself in
this situation. How do you strike a balance while still putting your children’s
interests as high as they possibly can be? Spouses that make time for
one another are more likely than not to have marriages that last. This
strengths the familial unit and provides an example to your children of
how married people relate to one another and raise a family. For you and
your spouse, regular activities together apart from the children does
wonders for your collective peace of mind and general sanity. As parents
of a twenty month old daughter and a five month old daughter, this is
something I can personally attest to!
Remember that your marriage belongs to you and your spouse- nobody else
Everyone has a family, no matter how large or how small. We rely (rightfully)
on our family for advice on a wide range of subjects including our marriage.
If you have a family member (or whole side of the family) that enjoys
giving unsolicited marriage advice it is important to be able to establish
boundaries with them so that they know when the advice they’re provided
is welcomed and when it is simply inappropriate. I don’t mean to
never turn to family in times of need for their perspective. That’s
a huge service that families can provide married couples- especially newly
married couples. However, I have seen marriages ruined in no small part
to the meddling of a mother in law, father in law or other family member.
An example of this can be seen with a former client of the
Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Throughout the entirety of the divorce our client was getting advice
from their parents as to how to proceed with the divorce from a strategic
standpoint. Not only was this harming our client, it was making our lives
as attorneys more difficult. Fortunately we were able to sit down with
our client and speak to him openly about the situation. He addressed his
parents regarding our concerns and the unprompted advice from his parents
was never again an issue.
Questions on this blog post? Please contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
Even if you feel like it is, divorce does not simply become an option overnight.
Likewise, a strong marriage does not develop overnight. It takes time,
effort and commitment. There are many pieces of good advice available
for you to read and take into consideration but our office wanted to provide
you with these ones for you to look over and think about.
TheLaw Office of Bryan Fagan represents clients across southeast Texas and would be honored to do the
same for you and your family. To learn more about our office and the services
we provide please do not hesitate to
contact us today.