The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan have previously written in our blogs that your children are going to be impacted more heavily by your divorce than anyone else- including you and your spouse.
This is unfortunate because at least on some level you and your spouse have contrdiol over the circumstances in relation to this divorce. Your children, while far from the cause of your divorce, are going to feel its affects on a profound level.
You may have told yourself that you were filing for divorce in the first place in order to protect your children or to ensure that their lives are the best that they can be. Maybe removing your spouse from your life will allow you to be a better parent.
It could be that the toxicity of your martial relationship has spilled over and is affecting how you parent your children. In this type of situation your responsibility is to your children and yourself and filing for divorce would appear to be justified.
If you are able to keep in mind during your divorce that in spite of everything going on around you that your children are the most important component to the divorce process then you will likely arrive at a better outcome than otherwise.
I have seen good, loving parents get wrapped up in everything that surrounds a divorce and neglect to ensure that what he or she is doing is in the best interest of their children.
With that said, let’s discuss some methods to avoid losing sight of your children during your divorce. While it is understandable to want to create as soft a landing for yourself as possible post-divorce, your children do not have the ability to negotiate on their own behalf. They are relying on you to represent their interests.
Seek to avoid visits to the courthouse
You will be happy to learn that most divorce cases never see the inside of a courtroom. This is because the majority of cases in Texas settle long before it comes necessary to pay a visit to see the judge. The one catch to this situation is that you and your spouse actually have to work together to come up with resolutions that can be advantageous for both of you as well as for your children.
It is easy when you are engaging in negotiations and attempt to parent a child together during a divorce to run into arguments. It’s likely than an argument led to one of you filing for divorce.
I cannot emphasize, however, how important that you and your spouse avoid arguments whenever possible during the divorce. Emotions will be running high and a lot of people going through a divorce are in self preservation mode and I do not blame them in large part.
The key here is to remember that you are not fighting your spouse and are not attempting to divorce them in order to win some “right or wrong” battle with your spouse. The purpose of your divorce is to eliminate a relationship that has become detrimental for yourself and possibly for your children. Working together at least on the subjects related to your children can be a huge advantage for you and your spouse if your goal is to settle your case outside of court.
Your children are your first priority
You may intellectually understand that your children are your top priority, but sometimes spouses may not act that way during the divorce itself. It is easy to lose sight of your goals. That is why I recommend setting some goals with your attorney at the outset of your divorce. This will allow you to stay true to yourself and to your children when a side-fight or petty squabble with your spouse comes up during the case.
Attempting to seek revenge in your divorce is not healthy and will not benefit your child. Your children do not care about the inter-workings of your marriage. They care that their mom and dad do not get along and they have an innate fear of losing stability an consistency in their lives, but they do not care who ends up with more “stuff” when the community estate is divided.
Every bit of negotiating that you do and your attorney does on your behalf should be intended with the goal of concluding your divorce case and benefitting the lives of your children. If you think that you are moving away from that mindset it may be time for you to reassess your tactics or motives
Hire an attorney to moderate your behavior
A great deal of benefit can be derived from hiring an attorney to represent you in your divorce. Not only are you gaining a great deal of practical experience in working a divorce but you are enlisting a partner to ensure that you behavior and attitudes towards your spouse are moderated. You can be very, very upset with your spouse and still be civil in the hopes of reaching a settlement with them in your divorce.
Your attorney should be able to tell you if a goal you’ve set out is not only attainable but in the best interest of your children. In the heat of your divorce the line between what you want and what your children need can become blurred. An experienced and ethical attorney can help to unblur that line and assist you in seeing your case more clearly.
Questions about divorce in Texas? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today
If you are interested in getting a divorce but have some questions that need to be answered first please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today. Our licensed family law attorneys are standing by to assist you. A free of charge consultation is available six days a week where your questions can be answered in a comfortable, no pressure environment. No divorce is easy, but our office aims to help you and your family manage your divorce as well as possible with an eye towards your life post-divorce.
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.