It is impossible for me or for any other attorney to tell you how to handle yourself when you are faced with the prospect of a spouse who wants to divorce you. You have spent the better part of your adult life with an individual as a life-partner, as a parent, and as your closest friend only to find that how your relationship is in the process of being formally destroyed. This can be a backbreaking and emotionally draining moment for you. There is no way for you to prepare for it in some ways.
In other ways, however, you can begin to think about what you can do in order to protect yourself and your interests in the aftermath of being served with divorce papers. The first thing that I can tell you is that a lot of spouses will do the first thing that pops into their mind without considering their options.
Emotions like anger, betrayal, heartbreak, and sadness can cause an otherwise rational person to deviate from their typical decision-making process. The end result can be devastating as far as their positioning within the confines of the divorce case.
What’s that? You think that you’re the exception to this rule? That you are made of sterner stuff than anybody else who has ever gone through a divorce? You’re the person that will be resolute in their decision making, unaffected by the normal, human emotions that center around a divorce? If you are thinking along these lines then I would recommend that you stop- at least long enough to read this blog post.
The reason why I think it is in your best interests to stop and consider your options and whether or not you are prepared for all the decisions that come along with a divorce is that you have so much to gain or lose in a divorce depending on what strategy you implement.
Nobody can make all the right decisions in life or in divorce. What you can do is to prepare yourself as best as possible in order to put yourself in a position where more good decisions can come about than bad. If you can do this you will be ahead of the game- and almost certainly ahead of your spouse.
Today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will cover the subject of whether or not you should move out of your family home after your spouse has filed for divorce from you.
At the beginning of a divorce, a lot of important decisions are made that can chart the course for the remainder of your case. Not only will you be affecting by what decision you make but your children will as well.
Whether or not you are going to ask the court to allow you to have primary conservatorship of your child has a lot to do with whether you stay or go. Keep your emotions in check and read on to learn more about this important subject.
Stay, stay, stay if you want to be in the running for the primary conservator of your child
Parents (a lot of the time I’m talking about fathers) tend to assume that the mother of the kids is going to be named as the parent with the right to determine the primary residence. This means that the kids live with mom for the most part and dad is left fighting for scraps of visitation time. While this may have been true at some point, and you may have friends that will tell you this is still the case, I would beg to differ.
For one, even if you do not ultimately win primary conservatorship rights over your kids the visitation that you are awarded are not mere “scraps”. If you have an expanded standard possession order you will have your children with you around 45% of the year.
Not the “50/50” split that many fathers seem to think is the holy grail of custody arrangements but it is darn close. So no matter what happens in this area of your divorce you will not be shut off your child’s life.
The second thing to keep in mind in regard to this subject is that it is not a foregone conclusion that the mom in the marriage gets to keep possession of the kids for the most part. The reason why more moms than dads tend to do so is usually that dads concede this point early in the divorce and it becomes moot.
A way to unknowingly concede this battle to the mother of your kids is by leaving your house simply because you have been asked to do so. Doing so can have a chain reaction in your divorce and should be avoided.
Weigh your options and do not make any hasty decisions when asked to move out
You may feel like your life is spiraling out of control when you first come face to face with a divorce petition but I can assure you that it is not. For one, a divorce takes at a minimum sixty-one days to complete from the day that your spouse filed their petition.
For two, a divorce takes two people to move it along. By all means, file your answer within the mandated time period but outside of doing that you are under no pressure to do anything until ordered by a judge.
It is human nature to want to remove yourself from a stressful place especially if you feel like it is what is in the best interests of your child. Why postpone the inevitable, you may be wondering? As we have already discussed it is not inevitable that your spouse will be awarded the home in your divorce.
For instance- whose income does the mortgage get paid out of? If you are the husband in a marriage does your wife work? Will she be able to afford the mortgage payments without your income? If not, you may be in a stronger position than you think when it comes to this area.
The other thing that spouses (usually husbands) tend to think when it comes to reasons why to move out of the marital home is that by doing so you are making your spouse happy and therefore she will be more “fair” in negotiating other aspects of the case.
This, by and large, is not how it works in most divorces. Your spouse will more than likely see this as you doing what she pleases and will use that same line of reasoning in other areas of your case. Your decision on whether to move out affects your case dramatically, as you can see.
Threats: Move out or you’ll regret it
I have seen spouses (mostly wives) tell their partner that unless they leave the home as instructed they will regret not doing so. Next comes a threat that they will not get to see their kids because they’ll ask the judge to withhold visitation during the divorce.
Know that your spouse cannot do this to you. This is an idle, empty threat with no ability for your spouse to follow through on it. Even if you believe that ultimately you will want to leave the home, or if your spouse is banging her fist on the table demanding you leave you should resist the temptation to do so. As long as nobody is being violent you should remain in your home as long as possible.
More on moving out of your home in a divorce to be posted in tomorrow’s blog
This is a topic that we as attorneys are asked quite often so I want to devote some time to discuss it with you all. Head back here tomorrow to learn more about how moving out of your home after a divorce has been filed can affect your case negatively, and how remaining at home can benefit you a great deal in your divorce.
In the meantime, if you have any questions regarding family law and divorce please do not hesitate to contact the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We offer free of charge consultations with one of our licensed family law attorneys six days a week. It would be an honor to sit down with you and answer your questions and to discuss the services that our office can provide to you and your family.
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Other Articles you may be interested in:
- Considering whether to move out of the home after a divorce is filed? Read this blog first
- Should I tell my spouse to move out of the home during a divorce?
- Do I have to move out of the marital home during a divorce in Spring, Texas?
- Whether you should move out of the marital home during a divorce?
- Steps To Take Before Moving Out of the Marital Residence During a Divorce in Spring, TX
- Can I move to another city before filing for divorce?
- The Dirty Trick of Filing for Divorce in Another City
- The Dirty Trick of Moving Out of State with the Kids
- Should I move out of the marital home during a divorce?
- Children's Passports and International Travel after Texas Divorce
- Can a Parent remove My Child from the state of Texas or from the County or Country where I am living?
- Geographic Restrictions in Child Visitation Orders in Texas
- Common Law Marriage and Texas Divorce Guide
- 6 things You Need to Know Before You File for Divorce in Texas
Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, Houston, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.