Parents like yourself can feel overburdened and stressed out in even the best family situations. If you add a heated divorcecase to the mix of school, extracurricular activities, social obligations and family time then those feelings can be made to feel even more overwhelming.
When times get hectic, our schedules can get out of whack and it is easy to do whatever it takes to make it through the day. Take out meals for dinner, no set schedule for homework and multi-tasking are unfortunately common in these types of situations.
This is one area that you as a parent going through a divorce can really take the initiative is to improve the academic life of your child. We discussed in yesterday’s blog post how communication with your spouse is essential to establishing rules and parameters for parenting during the divorce.
Again I will state that consistency and stability are the hallmarks of success in school for your child. If he or she understands that there are expectations for their performance in completing school tasks at home then it is likely that their grades will improve. Understanding that whoever’s house at which he or she is staying will have the same rules as the other house is important as well.
At a certain point, your divorce becomes a business transaction rather than an emotional transaction. I understand that this is your spouse and your family we are discussing and nothing should take away from how much you love your child and on some level likely care for your spouse as well.
However, if we remove the emotion from the situation as much as possible and focus on the objectives that you have created for yourself we can see that approaching the divorce like a business negotiation can be advantageous.
In the area of your child’s success in school, your spouse and you can negotiate and discuss these commonly held goals and objectives on a bi-weekly or monthly basis. Approach the talks like you would a phone call with a client or co-worker. Maintain professionalism and décor and don’t take anything personally.
I realize that this is easier said than done since you will be talking about your child but if you can make an effort I believe it will be quite beneficial to you. For this conversation you and your spouse are not competitors or adversaries- you are co-parenting towards mutually held goals. If that spirit de accord continues on for the other parts of your divorce then that is for all the better.
Your possession schedule can become the homework schedule
In your divorce, you may end up following a possession schedule based on the Standard Possession Order contained in the Texas Family Code. This possession schedule will have you being with your child either during the week plus every other weekend or every other weekend plus a weeknight during the week. Whatever position you find yourself in you need to work with your spouse to ensure homework assignments are completed satisfactorily and on time.
In the event that your child has a multi-day assignment or project that is due on a Monday morning, for example, it is not fair for you to not have worked on the project with your child during the week only to lump the entire responsibility on your spouse to complete the assignment in a few days on the weekend. Instead, work with your child to map out his or her school schedule ahead of time and then use that mapping session to discuss the schedule with your spouse.
Share responsibilities and materials to complete any assignments. I know on some level it may feel good to tell your spouse to buy their own set of map pencils, etc. but ultimately this does nothing but annoy your spouse and take time away from your child.
Use technology to assist with logistical issues associated with your child’s school calendar
Court dates, meetings with your attorney, doctor’s appointments and school events will fill your days during a typical divorce. Managing your own time can be difficult enough, not to mention coordinating your responsibilities with those of your child.
Now add on to this the need to coordinate with your spouse how you all want to parent and handle school assignments and it’s enough to drive you berserk. Is there a solution to all this, you may be asking?
I would advise anyone with this much on their plate (yourself included) to utilize technology wherever possible to avoid unnecessary work and stress. If you and your spouse can share an online calendar where school events, assignments and important dates can be added then I can almost guarantee your chances of success at parenting during the divorce will increase.
Utilizing an online calendar allows you to add, remove and change important dates and deadlines so that both you and your spouse will operate off of the same information. Monthly, if not weekly, discussions about school coupled with an easy to read and understand calendar with those dates and assignments mapped out can go a long way towards helping to ease stress and place the emphasis on your child’s academic performance.
With any luck, your child’s grades will not slip during your divorce and you and your spouse may even figure out that your ability to communicate is better than you give yourselves credit for previously.
Questions about divorce with children? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today
Managing a divorce, your family and your career is quite a task. Having an experienced advocate by your side to help guide you through the process of getting a divorce can provide peace of mind. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan stand ready to assist you with any problem you may have associated with divorce or child custody. A free of charge consultation is only a phone call away. Our licensed family law attorneys can help to answer your questions and discuss the services our office can provide to you as a client.
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Other Articles you may be interested in:
- How can your children succeed in school after a divorce?
- How to help your children succeed in school after a divorce, Part Two
- How to help your children succeed in school after a divorce
- The effect of home schooling in child custody cases in Texas
- Co parenting when you and your children live in different states
- How a Parenting Class Can Help Me and My Ex-spouse Co-parent in Texas?
- How to Co Parent with an Addict Ex-Spouse
- Post-Divorce Anger Issues: Co-parenting advice in difficult circumstances
- Co parenting when you and your children live in different states
- How Does Summertime Visitation Work for Divorced Parents in Texas?
- How does summer visitation work?
- 10 Quick Tips About Parental Visitation
- When Your Child's Extended Family Wants Visitation in Texas
Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our Divorce lawyers in Spring TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.