Utilizing post divorce therapy to benefit you and your family

Coming off of an emotionally intense and taxing divorce your first instinct may be to retreat into your own thoughts and have some “me” time without interference from others. Who can blame you? For your entire divorce you likely had friends, family and your attorney constantly in your ear providing you with both solicited and unsolicited advice about a wide range of topics. Now that the divorce is over you want nothing more than to parent your children and forget about the divorce as quickly as possible. Today’s blog post from the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will hopefully provide you some counter points to consider on this subject.

Dealing with the emotions of divorce

Like any other important event, a divorce requires you to expend some degree of emotional energy. In some instances your divorce could have been more or less a business transaction. Both you and your spouse agreed that it was in the best interests of each of you to move towards a separation and that getting it done and over with was necessary. If you all have children, splitting their time between the two of you may have been difficult but if the marriage wasn’t working then exposing the kids to that situation was not ideal either.

On the other hand, your divorce could have been one where a long and sometimes fruitful marriage came to a crashing stop. Maybe one of you didn’t even want the divorce and there were overtures during the divorce to attempt to attend marriage counseling. For whatever reason your marriage stopped working and the divorce came about as a result of that. However, it was not an easy decision to come to and the divorce itself was painful.

When you find yourself finally on the outside looking back in on a divorce that was recently resolved a healthy step to take is to examine the feelings and emotions you’ve felt as being real, justified and substantially important to your being able to succeed in life after your divorce. I can almost guarantee you that your divorce attorney did not talk to you much about emotions, feelings and things of that nature during the divorce. The fact of the matter is that during a divorce there are so many circumstances at play that how you feel about a particular issue is something discussed much. This can lead to your inability or unwillingness to do so after a divorce as well.

Post divorce counseling as a springboard into life as a single adult and parent

Nobody would argue that your life has the ability to be just as happy, fruitful and meaningful as a divorced person than as a married person. In fact, it could have been that your marriage was the number one factor that held you back from being the person or parent that you could have been. Understanding this may be difficult, however, considering the many emotions that you are having to sort through now in the immediate aftermath of your divorce.

A post-divorce counselor is the sort of person who is well equipped to speak into your life and help you do some of the sorting that we just discussed as being so important. You made an important decision to get a divorce and to follow through with the process as well as you could. Now you have the opportunity to continue to make positive steps in your life by seeking post divorce counseling. Not getting side-tracked and focusing on what you need to do in order to improve yourself is exactly what post-divorce counselors do in their jobs.

How do you feel about your recently ended marriage?

Divorce was not the desired end for your marriage when it began. Of that I am fairly sure. The change in course in your life’s trajectory certainly justifies your wanting to reach out and talk to someone about your marriage, your family, the divorce and where you can go from here to ensure the mistakes that were made do not happen again.

Speaking to someone about your feelings can help you to identify what you need to do to improve yourself and work on being the sort of person and parent that you need to be now that you are divorced. If there are aspects to your life that you lost as a married person that you now want to rediscover a post divorce counselor can help you to work on this as well.

For instance, did your divorce see you making changes to yourself that were intended to benefit your spouse more than you? Do you have interests or ideas that your spouse did not support? Talk to your counselor about those subjects and create a roadmap to achieving whatever personal or professional goals that you believe are important.

Children and divorce

In the event that your children are experience hurt feelings or confusion surrounding their lives after you and your spouse divorce then you may be asking yourself how you can help them. Problems in school, failing to listen to instructions at home or unexplained outbursts of emotion can all be telltale signs of the inability of children to transition well to a divorced family dynamic.

Children are able to attend post-divorce therapy sessions as well that can help them to deal with their own emotions and to assist in transitioning into a post divorce family. Their lives, like yours, will never be the same again. This doesn’t mean that they don’t have the ability to adapt and thrive in a new situation, though.

Questions about divorce and life thereafter? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

Experience, accountability and advocacy. That is what you get with an attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. If you are considering a divorce please contact our office today. A licensed family law attorney from our office can meet with you six days a week to discuss any questions you may have and to walk with you through the divorce process. A consultation is always free of charge and can help provide you with peace of mind during a time where you may feel like your world is turning upside down.

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