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Why do I have to follow the rules in My Texas Divorce?

One of the things that troubles my clients the most while going through Texas divorce process is that they feel that they are following the rules while their ex is ignoring the rules and getting away with it. From my experience everyone is frustrated by this behavior:

  1. You
  2. The Texas Divorce attorneys at our office
  3. The opposing counsel

When this occurs in the cases we handle we will provide you with advice on what to do and what legal options are available. You may feel frustrated to see your spouse getting away with bad behavior. It may be even more frustrating if yours is like a lot of our cases in that this behavior is similar to what was going on in the marriage that led to the divorce.

Your Spouse may be trying to Provoke You

This type of behavior is one more way for your ex to make you feel:

  1. like you have been victimized all over again
  2. A reminder that it does not matter that you are no longer together they will find a way to manipulate the situation and mess with your life

We hear this complaint all the time. The situations are often very different. However, the emotions are similar. Our clients sometimes ask why they should follow the rules when their spouse is not. This is a natural question with several good answers for.

Follow Your Attorney’s Advice

Often time’s clients do not like the advice because there is not an immediate solution. If the a parent is withholding the children our clients would like us to make a phone call that gets the cops to break down the door that day and have the children return. Unfortunately the law does not work that way. Generally involves our clients following the rules even when their spouse is not. This is good advice, because:

  1. When we take your spouse to court asking the court to enforce the rules we do you’re your ex saying that you are not following them either.
  2. If you do what you are supposed to do such as allowing your spouse to have visitation with the children then we have a better when we go to court on a motion to compel or enforce if yours spouse is found to be in violation of the court order they will required to pay your fees and costs.

Motions to Compel or Enforce

In most Texas divorce cases we generally cannot make pay for entirety of the divorce case. However, when a spouse is violating a courts order we can ask the court to make the violating spouse that pay for things where they have unnecessarily increased the bill. This can include:

  1. Not paying court ordered spousal support
  2. Not paying court ordered child support
  3. Not responding to discovery
  4. Missing mediation
  5. Anything else a court may have ordered that your spouse has not complied with

By your following the courts orders we have a stronger argument for why we deserve to receive fees and your spouse deserves to be sanctioned.

It’s a Good idea to wear the White Hat

Another good reason for following the rules, is that by doing so a judge will be more inclined to believe and side with you. If you and your spouse are both breaking rules, the judge will probably see it as a case of “he said, she said” where it is almost impossible for the judge to tell who was right and who was wrong. You want to seem like a mature person to the Judge.

When a person does wrong this is called “unclean hands.” What that means is that it’s hard to accuse someone of something that we are equally guilty of doing. Both you and your spouse would be going into court with unclean hands.

If we have been following the rules then we have clean hands. If your spouse has been violating the rules there hands are unclean. This puts us in a strong position when we ask the court for help. It is important to come into the court in as strong a position as possible.

Judges do not like when people violate their rules. If a Judge does not like a particular person based on their actions it will often be reflected in their ruling. Do not underestimate the importance of wearing the white hat, looking reasonable, and collected in front of the judge.

Often times the things in the marriage that lead to the divorce were not great. I tell people that come to see me they are not alone and that most people do not come to see me when everything is puppy dogs and rainbows. However, a divorce is often like going from one bad period in your life to another.

It is important to keep in mind that:

  1. You are not alone.
  2. Divorce and family law issues are emotional and complicated.
  3. Divorce is said to be the second most stressful thing people go through.
  4. People do get through the process

If you haven’t already, consider seeing a therapist.

Many of our clients going through a divorce find talking to therapist to be helpful. A therapist has been trained to help you work through your feelings and to deal with them in as productive a way as possible. Talking to a therapist does not mean you are crazy. Having emotions and feelings while going through a divorce is a normal reaction to difficult circumstances.

It is not uncommon for our clients to:

  1. Want to talk their feelings through with us
  2. We do not mind when they do this. However, we are not necessarily your best option to talk to.
  3. We can listen, but, at the end of the day, we are trained in emotions or how to help you process them.
  4. We are trained in the law and how to help you get legal remedies.

Your feelings are normal and understandable, a therapist may be able to help you work though them during and after the divorce.

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Adobe Stock 62844981[2]If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: 16 Steps to Help You Plan & Prepare for Your Texas Divorce

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  10. Does it Matter who Files First in a Texas Divorce?

Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Spring, Texas Divorce Lawyers

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Spring, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.

Our divorce lawyers in Spring TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Spring, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.

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