Why Do I Have to Follow the Rules in My Texas Divorce?

One of the things that troubles my clients the most while going through Texas divorce process is that they feel that they are following the rules while their ex is ignoring the rules and getting away with it. From my experience everyone is frustrated by this behavior:

1. You
2. The Texas Divorce attorneys at our office
3. The opposing counsel

When this occurs in the cases we handle we will provide you with advice on what to do and what legal options are available. You may feel frustrated to see your spouse getting away with bad behavior. It may be even more frustrating if yours is like a lot of our cases in that this behavior is similar to what was going on in the marriage that led to the divorce.

Why Must I Follow Rules When My Spouse Doesn’t?

Your divorce journey may often feel like a battlefield, where your ex-partner’s provocations seem designed to victimize or manipulate you. This behavior, frustratingly common, can lead to feelings of injustice and the temptation to retaliate or ignore the legal guidelines. However, straying from the rules can have serious consequences.

One of the most compelling reasons to adhere to the rules is the legal advantage it provides. If your spouse is violating court orders or agreements, your compliance strengthens your case in court. Judges often look favorably upon those who demonstrate respect for legal processes and rules.

By maintaining your composure and following the guidelines set forth, you position yourself as the reasonable and responsible party, which can significantly influence a judge’s perspective and decisions.

The Importance of Heeding Your Attorney’s Advice

Your attorney’s advice, although sometimes seemingly slow or unsatisfactory, is grounded in a deep understanding of legal procedures and strategies. In cases where a parent is withholding children, for instance, the desire for immediate action is strong. However, legal processes take time and require patience and compliance. Attorneys often advise clients to continue following the rules, even when it feels counterintuitive.

This advice is not without reason. In court, your adherence to the rules is your armor. If your spouse accuses you of non-compliance, your consistent obedience to court orders serves as a strong defense. Additionally, if you follow the rules, such as allowing visitation, and your spouse does not, you stand in a better position when filing motions to compel or enforce court orders.

This can lead to your spouse being ordered to cover your legal fees and costs, a significant financial advantage.

Understanding Motions to Compel or Enforce

In Texas divorces, you use motions to compel or enforce as legal tools when a spouse disobeys court orders. These violations can include failing to pay child or spousal support, ignoring discovery requests, or missing mediation sessions.

If the court finds your spouse in violation of these orders, it can sanction them and require them to bear the cost of the increased legal expenses their non-compliance has caused.

Your adherence to the rules is crucial in these situations. It demonstrates to the court that your actions are in good faith and that you respect the legal process, which is critical in convincing the judge of your credibility and the validity of your requests.

The Power of Wearing the ‘White Hat’ in Court

The concept of wearing the ‘white hat’ refers to the practice of presenting yourself as the more reasonable and compliant party in court. This is particularly important in divorce cases, where emotions can run high and accusations fly freely.

When both parties are accused of rule-breaking, judges often see the situation as a complex “he said, she said” scenario, making it challenging to discern who is right. However, if you consistently follow the rules and demonstrate maturity and reasonableness, you distinguish yourself in the eyes of the court.

The legal principle of “unclean hands” further underscores the importance of this approach. This doctrine implies that a party who is guilty of unethical or illegal conduct regarding the matter before the court cannot complain about a similar conduct of the other party.

In essence, if you have ‘clean hands’ by following the rules and your spouse does not, your position is significantly stronger when seeking the court’s intervention. Judges tend to favor those who respect their rulings and the legal process, often reflecting this preference in their decisions.

Emotional Toll and Seeking Support

Divorce and family law issues are not just legal challenges; they are emotionally taxing experiences. Recognizing this, it’s essential to understand that feeling overwhelmed, angry, or sad is a normal reaction to a difficult situation. Many people report divorce as one of the most stressful life events, second only to the death of a loved one.

During this time, it’s beneficial to seek emotional support. While friends and family can provide a listening ear, a professional therapist trained in handling such emotional upheavals can offer more structured and effective support.

Talking to a therapist does not imply any weakness or instability; rather, it’s a proactive step towards managing your emotional well-being. Therapists can help you process your feelings and deal with them constructively, which is crucial for making sound decisions during the divorce process.

The Role of Your Attorney: Legal Guidance, Not Emotional Support

Your attorney acts as your advocate and advisor in legal matters, but remember that their expertise centers on law, not emotional counseling. Often, clients want to discuss their feelings with their attorneys. Most lawyers listen sympathetically, but they lack training in providing emotional support or therapy.

The primary role of your attorney involves guiding you through the legal aspects of your divorce, protecting your rights, and representing your interests. They assist in understanding the legal implications of your actions and decisions, offer strategic advice, and help you navigate the legal system’s complexities.

For emotional support, you should consult a therapist or counselor, who can offer necessary guidance and help you process your feelings healthily.

Final Thoughts

Divorcing in Texas demands legal savvy and emotional resilience, as it is a multifaceted journey. You often encounter challenges and provocations on this path, especially when you deal with a non-compliant spouse. Nevertheless, you cannot overstate the importance of adhering to the rules throughout this process. This strategy extends beyond mere legal compliance; it involves maintaining integrity, ensuring fairness, and positioning yourself favorably in the law’s eyes.

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Other Articles you may be interested in:

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2. I Want a Texas Divorce but My Husband Doesn’t: What can I do?
3. Am I Married? – Marital Status in Texas
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5. 6 Tips – On How to prepare for a Texas Divorce
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10. Does it Matter who Files First in a Texas Divorce?

Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Spring, Texas Divorce Lawyers

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it’s important to speak with one of our Spring, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.

Our divorce lawyers in Spring TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Spring, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.

Bryan Joseph Fagan( Attorney )

Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.

Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.

His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.

Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.