The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, have previously written in our blogs that your children will be impacted more heavily by your divorce than anyone else- including you and your spouse.
This is unfortunate because, at least on some level, you and your spouse have control over the circumstances of this divorce. While far from the cause of your divorce, your children are going to feel its effects on a profound level.
You may have told yourself that you were filing for divorce in the first place to protect your children or to ensure that their lives are the best that they can be. Maybe removing your spouse from your life will allow you to be a better parent.
It could be that the toxicity of your marital relationship has spilled over and is affecting how you parent your children. In this situation, your responsibility is to your children and yourself, and filing for divorce would appear to be justified.
Suppose you can keep in mind during your divorce that despite everything going on around you, your children are the most critical component of the divorce process. In that case, you will likely arrive at a better outcome than otherwise.
I have seen good, loving parents get wrapped up in everything that surrounds a divorce and neglect to ensure that what they are doing is in the best interest of their children.
With that said, let's discuss some methods to avoid losing sight of your children during your divorce. While it is understandable to want to create as soft a landing for yourself as possible post-divorce, your children cannot negotiate on their behalf. They are relying on you to represent their interests.
Seek to avoid visits to the courthouse
You will be happy to learn that most divorce cases never see the inside of a courtroom. This is because most cases in Texas settle long before it comes necessary to pay a visit to see the judge. The one catch to this situation is that you and your spouse have to work together to come up with resolutions that can be advantageous for both of you and your children.
It is easy when you engage in negotiations and attempt to parent a child together during a divorce to run into arguments. An idea likely led to one of you filing for divorce.
I cannot emphasize, however, how important it is that you and your spouse avoid arguments whenever possible during the divorce. Emotions will be running high, and many people going through a divorce are in self-preservation mode, and I do not blame them in large part.
The key here is to remember that you are not fighting your spouse and are not attempting to divorce them to win some "right or wrong" battle with your spouse. The purpose of your divorce is to eliminate a relationship that has become detrimental for yourself and possibly for your children. Working together, at least on the subjects related to your children, can be a massive advantage for you and your spouse if your goal is to settle your case outside of court.
Your children are your priority.
You may intellectually understand that your children are your top priority, but sometimes spouses may not act that way during the divorce itself. It is easy to lose sight of your goals. That is why I recommend setting some goals with your attorney at the outset of your divorce. This will allow you to stay true to yourself and your children when a side-fight or petty dispute with your spouse comes up during the case.
Seeking revenge in your divorce is not healthy and will not benefit your child. Your children do not care about the inter-workings of your marriage. They care that their mom and dad do not get along, and they have an innate fear of losing stability and consistency in their lives, but they do not care who ends up with more "stuff" when the community estate is divided.
Every bit of negotiating that you do and your attorney does on your behalf should be intended with the goal of concluding your divorce case and benefitting the lives of your children. If you think that you are moving away from that mindset, it may be time for you to reassess your tactics or motives.
Hire an attorney to moderate your behavior
Many benefits can be derived from hiring an attorney to represent you in your divorce. Not only are you gaining a great deal of practical experience in working on a divorce, but you are enlisting a partner to ensure that your behavior and attitudes towards your spouse are moderated. You can be very upset with your spouse and still be civil in the hopes of settling with them in your divorce.
Your attorney should be able to tell you if a goal you've set out is not only attainable but in the best interest of your children. In the heat of your divorce, the line between what you want and what your children need can become blurred. An experienced and ethical attorney can help to unblur that line and assist you in seeing your case more clearly.
Questions about divorce in Texas? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, today.
If you are interested in getting a divorce but have some questions that need to be answered first, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, today. Our licensed family law attorneys are standing by to assist you. A free-of-charge consultation is available six days a week where your questions can be answered in a comfortable, no-pressure environment. No divorce is easy, but our office aims to help you and your family manage your divorce as well as possible with an eye towards your life post-divorce.
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's essential to speak with one of our Houston, TX, Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston, TX, are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County, and Waller County.