There is no way to avoid running into the realization that a divorce is difficult, especially for children. If you and your spouse are attempting to work out the issues that were dividing you in marriage and were still unsuccessful, then at least you both had an opportunity to confront those issues directly.
Your children are bystanders for the whole process- affected by every move you and your spouse make but not in a position to weigh in or move you both closer to reconciliation. This can be a helpless and extremely disheartening feeling.
Just like we adults have our responsibilities to attend to at work daily, so too do our children at school. We like to think of this time away from home as a respite for our children- away from stress and anxiety; they can focus their attention on studies and extracurricular activities rather than the drama that is going on at home.
Unfortunately, this is not always how it works out. We hear stories about the child who succeeds on the playing field after a divorce, how the gridiron or the baseball diamond offered a child a means to escape their less than desirable at-home reality. However, I would provide to you today that this scenario is the exception rather than the norm. The school has likely become more stressful, tedious, and trying for your child now that you and your spouse have begun divorce proceedings.
There are ways to minimize the effects of your divorce on your child’s performance in the classroom. Today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, will discuss this subject with you all and offer some tips on how to help your child achieve success academically during and after your Divorce.
Your child comes first- always.
In a divorce, everyone’s lives are thrown for a loop, and it is normal to have concern for yourself more during the Divorce than in previous years. I talk to clients about how when you’re about to embark on a flight, the flight attendants will tell you that in the event of a situation where the air-masks are lowered, always place your mask on first become help your children do so.
The thought is that if you can’t help yourself survive a low oxygen environment first, you will be unable to do so for your children. To discuss Divorce coping techniques, I do not think this principle applies.
I would advise you as a parent to focus your attention on your children before yourself in a divorce and the period after the Divorce. The judge in your case will approach matters by looking at what is in the best interests of your child, and it is this same standard that is best applied by you and your spouse as well.
In your Divorce, you and your spouse are likely having difficulty finding a consensus on any issue. It is always best to attempt to communicate regarding your child and find common ground when parenting them.
Being on the same page with your spouse regarding your child’s schooling is crucial. Your child needs to continue to be held accountable for their performance in the classroom while your Divorce is ongoing. Assignments will come due, projects need to be worked on, and tests will be studied.
If your child senses that your attention is diverted, it may direct them to focus their attention on other matters as well. Your Divorce should not be an opportunity for your child’s grades to slip or behavior to worsen. If you and your spouse pay sufficient attention to their schooling, it does not have to be this way.
Think ahead, work with your spouse and avoid problems with your child in school
Like most things in life, communication is crucial when emphasizing and focusing your attention on your child’s schooling during a divorce. If you and your spouse can communicate your mutually held goals to one another, this is a significant first step. As we’ve already discussed, each of you has your own individually controlled plans for your Divorce. Your child and their schooling offer an opportunity to be on the same team during this time of discord and conflict.
Secondly, I would make sure your child’s teachers know what is going on at home between you and your child’s other parent. This can help the teachers keep an eye out for academic or behavioral problems that your child may begin to exhibit now that your Divorce is in full swing. It also creates an open line of communication for the teachers to get back to you in the necessary event.
Finally, if you and your spouse agree to a schedule for your child to adhere to in terms of after-school activities that will invariably benefit your child, no matter where your child is after school- whether your home or your spouse’s home- there will be an expectation that school work will be completed, chores accomplished. Recreational time will be had as well. Will this level of coordination and teamwork be easy? No, most likely, it won’t be. Will it be beneficial for your child? Absolutely.
Part Two of our discussion on maintaining academic success for your child during a divorce is coming tomorrow.
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, is passionate about ensuring the successes of our clients and their families during a divorce. We would invite you all to return to our website this week to further discuss the important subject of academic performance during a divorce.
In the meantime, if you have any questions regarding divorce or family law in Texas, please do not hesitate to contact our office today. A free-of-charge consultation is available to you six days a week.
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Other Articles you may be interested in:
- How to help your children succeed in school after a divorce, Part Two
- How to help your children succeed in school after a divorce
- The effect of homeschooling in child custody cases in Texas
- Co-parenting when you and your children live in different states
- How Can a Parenting Class Help My Ex-spouse Co-parent and Me in Texas?
- How to Co-Parent with an Addict Ex-Spouse
- Post-Divorce Anger Issues: Co-parenting advice in difficult circumstances
- Co-parenting when you and your children live in different states
- How Does Summertime Visitation Work for Divorced Parents in Texas?
- How does summer visitation work?
- 10 Quick Tips About Parental Visitation
- When Your Child’s Extended Family Wants Visitation in Texas
Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it’s essential to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our Divorce lawyers in Spring, TX, are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County, and Waller County.