Have you been thinking about divorce in the past few months? If so, you aren’t alone. My unscientific analysis of divorce during the era of COVID-19 is that many people have been sitting at home with not much to do and thinking about how to get a divorce. I think the busy nature of our lives may be helped shield us from intrusive thoughts regarding the need for a divorce. Still, now that we have less to do and fewer places to go, we were thinking more and more about our relationships and about how a divorce may be coming for our family, whether we like it or not.
There are two things that you can choose to do with these thoughts. The first would be to internalize them and push them to the corner of your life so that they do not come up for some time again. Or, you can begin to consider them and move towards the planning stage of a divorce. The first step in planning a divorce is to determine whether or not your marriage is salvageable and whether or not that is a step you wish to take as far as attending counseling or attempting reconciliation with your spouse.
Only you know your specific family dynamics well enough to determine what is appropriate for you and your spouse. It does not take two to tango in a divorce. If you want to get a divorce and your spouse does not want to divorce, you can still get divorced. However, I would caution you to think thoroughly through the issue. If you have determined a divorce is necessary, you should begin to interview and speak to family law attorneys that may help you navigate your case.
I use the term “your case” for a reason. Your divorce case is different than your neighbor’s divorce or your cousin’s divorce. No other family has specific problems, challenges, adversities, and familial makeup as yours. As such, the issues that you and your spouse face in your divorce will be unique for you and your family. While many families may be going through financial hardships right now, none of those financial hardships are created precisely equal. While some families in Texas may have special needs children, no special needs child is as unique as yours. I could make an analogy to a snowflake here, but I think that may be a bit trite.
Since your divorce is unique to you and your spouse, the challenges must also be unique in preparation to overcome those challenges. You cannot rely upon the experience of a family member or friend, no matter how close they are to you when it comes to getting ready for your divorce. You need to share specific information with someone who has been through the process many times to develop case strategies and act intentionally when implementing them. That is where working with an experienced family law attorney comes into play. When it comes time for you to act on your motivation to get divorced, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for you to have an attorney by your side. Would you try to climb Mount Everest without help? You would not try doing that; I am pretty sure.
While getting a divorce in Texas may not be exactly as difficult as climbing the world’s tallest mountain, It can present challenges of its own. As such, do not consider getting a divorce without the assistance of a family law attorney. Add problems that your family has with finances and the unique needs of your children, and that lesson is twice as true now for your family as it would be for most others.
The intersection of your family’s financial needs with the needs of your special needs child is what I would like to discuss with you today in our blog post. Going through a divorce can put a strain on any family’s finances. You may be in a position where you have not worked for many years enter now facing the reality of living life without your spouse’s financial assistance and contribution. How can you manage to go back to school and finish the degree mall being a single parent? What are the costs associated with hiring someone to help you find a job? Is it even worth looking for a career in this economy? These are all relevant questions for you to ask.
From the perspective of your special needs child, what do you need to do to prepare for raising a special needs child on your own without the everyday assistance of your spouse? Are there unique aspects of planning that need to be included in your divorce to set you on the right course for your post-divorce life? To what extent can you expect your spouse to assist you financially and otherwise when it comes to raising your child after the divorce? These are the questions that I will attempt to go through and answer with you for the remaining portions of today’s blog post.
Focusing on the finances of your post-divorce life
After a lifetime of focusing on your unique needs child, it can be disconcerting to need to focus on your finances as you approach a divorce. This can be especially true when you are the spouse who does not focus your attention on your finances. If you have a special needs child, it is probable most of your energy has been focused on that child and improving their health. A focus on your child’s lifestyle has been prudent, to be sure, but it’s likely left you in a deficit as far as knowledge about your finances.
You have always been able to rely upon your spouse to provide you and your family with the things that you need most, including income, a home, food, and other essentials period; now that you are facing a divorce, you can no longer be as complacent about your finances. You need to be able to focus on your child and your money. I’m not saying you should focus equally on either subject but that it would benefit both of you to be able to have a firm grasp on your family finances as well as on your child’s well-being.
You may have never worked before, but with a divorce, the odds increase that you will need to enter the workforce. With that said, how you manage your transition in a post-divorce life will be impacted by two realities: your special needs child as well as the finances of your marriage. Your child’s needs will determine whether or not you can enter the workforce and become self-sufficient from an income and financial perspective. The health of your marriage from a financial perspective will go a long way to determining what level of support you may be eligible for in a post-divorce setting.
Determine the degree to which your child requires special care
What does it mean to be a special needs child? The particular needs of your child could differ dramatically from the unique needs of another child. Your child may likely require differing amounts of care than other children who share their diagnosis. With that said, nobody knows better than you do what degree of care your child needs on a day-to-day basis. For your divorce, you will need to be clear about what level of care you and your child’s doctors believe that they need. Your opinion on this subject will determine the degree to which your child is cared for in the future by you or by someone else.
If your child can function independently in may attend school, you may be able to go and find a job and work. Whether that job is more of a career or a job depends on your experience and education level. Whether or not that career or job is part-time or full-time depends on the level of need for your child to be with them. These are the factors that you need to consider when negotiating through your divorce. Be prepared to obtain statements and opinions from counselors or doctors who work with your child to substantiate these positions.
I recommend you have statements from these folks to substantiate your opinions because it may be the case where your spouse disagrees with your views. It would be nice if you and your spouse agreed on all subjects surrounding your special needs child, but this may be unlikely, depending on your circumstances. For example, if your spouse believes that your special needs child can attend a school or be in another environment where they are occupied for the day, you may have to contest this opinion. Having your own experience is in addition to the views of doctors and counselors, can be an excellent asset for you in the event your case proceeds to a trial.
This is the most crucial question when it comes to spousal support in a post-divorce setting and the needs of your children. If you are not able to work, you cannot provide an income for your family. A family with a special needs child, as a general rule, has financial obligations beyond a typical family after a divorce. For this reason, you may need to discuss the subject of post-divorce spousal support in the context of your divorce.
Spousal maintenance and contractual alimony
If you and your spouse conclude that you cannot work after a divorce, some form of post-divorce spousal support is likely necessary. The type you end up receiving will depend upon several factors, including whether or not your case goes to a trial. If your case makes it to a test, you could be awarded something called spousal maintenance. Spousal maintenance is post-divorce spousal support that is paid to you by your ex-spouse. Spousal maintenance is typically limited to 20% of your ex-spouse’s net monthly income. However, based on your child’s needs and the degree to which your spouse is a high-income earner, this amount can fluctuate from case to case.
On the other hand, if you and your spouse can settle your case in mediation, then any spousal support you receive would be known as contractual alimony. Essentially, you and your spouse would agree to a contract where he would pay you a certain sum of money each month after your divorce that is intended to allow you to care for your child on an ongoing basis. Typically, spousal maintenance is limited in terms of duration, but contractual alimony is not. This may be the best way for your family to go if your child has needs that may change over time, and there is no clear path for you to enter the workforce after the divorce.
Other Related Posts
- Special Needs Trusts: What they are and how they can impact your Texas divorce
- Custody of a special-needs child: Things to know
- 3 ways to help your special needs child through divorce
- How can custody of your special needs child in Texas effect asset division?
- Same-Sex Marriage and its relationship to Estate Planning and family law in Texas
- Costs associated with raising special needs children
- Special needs parents should explore unusual custody strategies
- Minimizing the negative impact of a divorce on special needs kids
- How Should Divorce, Child Support, And Custody Be Handled For Parents Of Special Needs Children?
- Testamentary Special Needs Trusts
- Children with Special Needs and Custody Arrangements in Texas: A Comprehensive Guide
- The Roadmap to Peace: Key Questions for Your Estate Attorney After a Loved One’s Passing