How not to behave after separation

magine this: you’re standing at the crossroads of emotions and decisions, holding an invitation to a celebration you never thought you’d attend—the last anniversary before divorce. It’s like being handed a ticket to a rollercoaster ride of feelings, from nostalgia to uncertainty, all wrapped up with a bow of impending change. You’re not alone in feeling a mix of trepidation and curiosity about what lies ahead. In this article, we’re diving headfirst into the world of divorce—the financial dance, the communication tightrope, and the rollercoaster of emotions—everything you need to know when that last anniversary before divorce approaches.

Short Answer: Why Read On?

Because we’re taking the daunting topic of divorce and turning it into an engaging journey through real-life stories and relatable themes. From handling joint debts to nurturing your children’s well-being, we’ve got you covered. So, buckle up for insights that will make you rethink how to approach the last anniversary before divorce.

Financial Choreography and Communication Tightropes

When the last anniversary before divorce knocks on your door, it’s not just about cake and candles; it’s about managing the finances that once intertwined your lives. We’re breaking down the intricate steps of this financial dance, showing you how to gracefully navigate joint accounts, shared debts, and the delicate art of financial transparency. But that’s not all—prepare to master the communication tightrope with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Discover how clear communication can be your secret weapon in smoothing the journey ahead.

Child Custody and Emotional Rollercoasters

As the last anniversary before divorce approaches, it’s time to fasten your emotional seatbelt for the ride of a lifetime. We’re delving into the impact of separation on children and offering insights into prioritizing their well-being. This isn’t just about custody arrangements; it’s about weaving a safety net of emotional support for your little ones during a challenging time.

Legal Labyrinths and Post-Divorce Puzzles

Gone are the days when divorce was simply a “he said, she said” affair. We’re lifting the curtain on the legal aspects of divorce, giving you a backstage pass to understanding the significance of documentation and court orders. But wait, there’s more—ever thought about what life looks like after the legal dust settles? We’re unraveling the post-divorce puzzle with insights into post-divorce planning that will help you shape a brighter future.

From Heartache to Healing: Emotional First Aid

With the last anniversary before divorce, emotions can take center stage. But fear not, because we’re your emotional first aid kit. From coping strategies to support networks, we’re offering a crash course in healing your heartache while finding your emotional footing once again.

Turning Pages: Beyond Divorce’s Storybook

The last anniversary before divorce marks the closing chapter of one story and the beginning of another. But this isn’t a fairy tale; it’s a real-life adventure. Dive into the complexities of property division, explore the benefits of mediation, and learn how to craft a new post-divorce narrative. And of course, we’re uncovering the secrets of maintaining a healthy work-life balance while building a harmonious co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse.

So, are you ready to flip the page and embark on this unique journey through divorce? Whether you’re facing the last anniversary before divorce head-on or simply seeking insights into life’s twists and turns, we’re here to guide you through the labyrinth of emotions, legalities, and opportunities that lie ahead.

The Last Anniversary Before Divorce: Navigating the Uncharted Waters

So you have finally decided to get the divorce that you have long been considering. This has not been an easy decision for you to make, but you believe that your family should move forward with a legal and marriage. This is a decision that you arrived at considering the advice of your close friends and family while taking part in any counseling or reconciliation that you could have attempted with your spouse. Despite that, you have concluded that a divorce is the best solution to the problems you have it’s been experiencing in your life and your marriage.

No question that this has not been an easy decision for you 2 arrive at but may pay dividends for you and your family in the future. However, that does not make the decision any easier or more pleasant in the short term. At the same time, you have decided to move forward with the divorce, that does not mean that the process will be immediate or without bumps in the road. That means you need to determine how to handle best any type of adversity you experience regarding your divorce case’s ups and downs and the process leading to the divorce.

For starters, I think it bears mentioning that the divorce will not be something that is concluded as soon as the thought enters your mind. Pardon my referencing a popular television show, but any fans of the television series The Office can likely recall a funny instance where Michael Scott boldly declared bankruptcy in the middle of the office. Later, another character on the show sat down to say that declaring bankruptcy verbally is not the same thing as declaring bankruptcy in the legal sense. This was a hilarious joke and one that is referenced quite a bit still in our popular culture.

In much the same way, simply being ready for a divorce and getting divorced is not the same. There is a process associated with getting a divorce that must be followed and cannot be completed overnight. For that reason, even after you have planned for your divorce, started the case, and followed the steps associated with beginning the process, there will be a few months of finalizing a divorce in Texas.

In the meantime, however, you may emotionally feel like you have moved on and the divorce is done with before it starts. It is not uncommon to see people who are still married yet going through the divorce act as if their case is already over with. The impact of this kind of behavior can be felt both immediately and in the long term. Put, acting like your case is over with before it even can result in nothing but bad outcomes for you and your family.

In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, I will share my thoughts on how not to behave after you decide to get a divorce. Whether yours will be an open and shut case that takes a minimal amount of time or will be a divorce that likely has its ups and downs, certain behaviors should be avoided during the pendency of your divorce case. Although it can feel like a divorce never truly gets off the ground for quite some time, the best steps you can take towards minimizing disruption to your life and that of your children is to act conservatively during your divorce to avoid potential problems.

Waiting (for the divorce)- it’s the hardest part.

As I mentioned a moment ago, getting a divorce is not something instantaneous that you can achieve. Wishing for divorce will not make it come to fruition. Rather, you have to take concrete steps that involve filing an Original Petition for Divorce in a county or district court that has jurisdiction over the subject matter and parties in your case. Officially, once you have performed this latter step, then you will have formally begun the process of getting divorced in the State of Texas.

From there, the waiting begins. In Texas, there is a 60 day waiting period to obtain a divorce from the date you filed your Original Petition. This should give you some indication of the importance of why it is that you need to have a plan and then be intentional about accomplishing that plan. Otherwise, there is only so much you can do to speed up the process. Unless you are being abused, your children are being abused, or some other extenuating circumstance is involved in your divorce. The 60 day waiting period almost certainly will not be waived by the judge.

At this point, you may be wondering what the purpose of having a 60 day waiting period is. Why not just allow people who want to get divorced on their time? As I understand it, the motivation is that the state of Texas does not want to encourage people to get divorced. The state does not want to prevent people from getting divorced, either, but having a waiting period to get divorced may encourage people to reconcile or counsel their way out of a marital issue. As I’m sure you could imagine, if you do not have to wait two months to get divorced, many more people would likely get divorced- often to their detriment.

This is a reality that many people find out about only after filing their case. Sometimes you ever run into a situation where people have plans to immediately move upon filing for divorce, marry another person upon filing for divorce or perform some other important life event once their divorce has been filed based on the misunderstanding that filing for divorce is the same thing as actually getting a divorce. Unfortunately, a family law attorney is often the bearer of bad news when sharing this information. Tapping the breaks on those sorts of life plans is a part of getting a divorce that you need to be aware of before filing the case.

Do not start dating before the end of your divorce.

This is or recommendation that I’m sure will frustrate many of you reading this blog post. One of the easiest ways to put a failed marriage behind her was to begin dating until lookout on the dating pool with fresh eyes and with a fresh appreciation for your newfound freedom. However, I am here to tell you that you are not yet free even though you have hired an attorney and even filed the divorce. By now, you should realize that the divorce is only over until the judge says that it is. Until then, you are still married, and you should act that way.

I do not mean that you need to send your spouse an anniversary card if your anniversary falls during the divorce. I also do not mean that you need to wear your wedding ring everywhere that you go. I do not even mean that you have to try to reconcile with your spouse every moment of your divorce until the bitter end. I mean that you should not jump on social media, create a profile on a dating website, or otherwise start dating during the divorce. Doing so gives the impression to yourself on an emotional level that your case is done when it is far from over.

On a relational level, it can take your focus off of your divorce and place it on people and activities that provide you with only immediate benefits. A divorce is a long-term play. It is a long-term play that requires your involvement and diligence in terms of the objectives you have in your case. Taking your eye off the ball to go on a date or begin pursuing another person romantically during the case leaves you scatterbrain and place his priorities in front of your divorce. There is nothing more frustrating for an attorney than pursuing your client’s goals only to see the client be more focused on extracurricular activities.

Imagine your children’s perspective on a family level if they were to find out that you are dating or romantically involved with a person other than their other parent. While this may not surprise them on some level, it will almost certainly confuse them even more so than they have been by the entire divorce process. I can think of no other action he can perform during a divorce that could harm children in the long run. They are already used to understanding their family as mom, dad, and the kids period now that you are changing that to a great extent, you do not need to pour gasoline on the fire by adding a new person into their lives during the pendency of a divorce.

Nothing stops you from moving on with your life, and begin linking to date once your divorce is over. As I’m sure you could imagine, there is no shortage of people in the dating pool who recently came off a divorce. You are likely to find many people with similar stories that you can commiserate with when the time is right. Note, however, that the time is not right during a divorce case. You should act as if you are still married because, in fact, you still are. Wait for your case to come to an end; have no strings attached by anyone or any legal case. He will almost surely find more fulfilling relationships as a single person than as a married person going through a divorce.

Another point I would like to make is that it is difficult to negotiate with your spouse if they know that you are already invested in a new relationship. There are a couple of reasons why I believe this is true. Number one will most likely annoy or at least frustrate your spouse to know that you are already dating another person while still married to them. Even if you are frustrated or upset with your spouse, you can still understand their frustration with you and the hurt pride they can suffer due to this sort of action.

I am not telling you to focus all of your energy on doing things that make you’re soon to be ex-spouse happy. However, I am pointing out to you that the reality is that you have to spend some time in a divorce negotiating with your Co-parent and spouse over the issues that are the most critical to your case. From my experience, negotiating with a person under these circumstances can lead to less than desirable results when you bear in mind that they may be aware that you are already moving on during the divorce. This can make negotiating in good faith even more difficult than it would have been had you not already begun reentering the dating pool.

Another concept to think about is that by starting to date during a divorce, you are putting yourself in a position where you are making your intentions known to your spouse that you want to move on sooner rather than later. For instance, if you have begun a serious dating relationship during your divorce, your spouse becomes aware that you plan to marry this other person as quickly as possible after your divorce puts you in a bad position from his strategic perspective.

What I mean by this is that your spouse knows that you have a great deal of motivation to wrap up the case as quickly as possible to move on to a new marriage. This puts you in a position where you have to take offers and consider counter offers from your Co-parent that you otherwise might not accomplish the goals you want in your divorce case. Second or she might not bargain with you in good faith, knowing that he will ultimately have to accept the offers they are making on their terms because of your desire to go ahead and get the divorce as quickly as possible.

While I would agree that it is odd to have to think about life, romance, and all the rest in terms like this, it is the reality of a divorce. You cannot be so consumed with your new relationship that you lose track of the fact that a divorce is as much a business negotiation as anything else. The person you are negotiating with will seek to use any advantage to gain the upper hand. Certainly, information regarding your desire to quickly move on to a new marriage can be used against you in the negotiation process.

What a new relationship means to your children and custody negotiations

One other element then I would take note of as far as negotiations during a divorce are that by involving yourself in a romantic relationship before the end of your divorce, you are putting yourself in a position where your children will likely become aware of your behavior sooner rather than later. In contrast, you may have justified this in your mind in one way or another and even spoken to your children about it in the past that does not mean that you can absolve yourself of any wrongdoing.

What I mean by this is that almost certainly, your children are going to be negatively impacted by you’re being in a relationship during the divorce if they are impacted at all. The whole point of being involved in a child custody case is to make decisions in your child’s best interest. It is difficult to make an argument that becoming involved romantically during a divorce is in the best interests of your children.

Your spouse’s attorney will almost certainly understand this and will negotiate with this fact in mind. A family court judge, for instance, almost certainly does not look past this fact if you are attempting to negotiate for primary custody of the children. Can you be expected to make the best interest decisions on behalf of your children if you have decided to spend time, money, and resources on a new romantic partner during a divorce that will impact the future of your relationship with your children? This is the sort of question you need to ask yourself before starting a romantic relationship during your divorce.

Financial Considerations During Divorce

Divorce is not just an emotional journey; it’s also a financial one. When the last anniversary before divorce approaches, it’s crucial to start thinking about the financial aspects that come along with the dissolution of a marriage. Managing finances appropriately during this process can save you from future headaches.

Joint accounts and shared debts are two significant financial entanglements that need careful consideration. As you prepare to untangle your lives, make a list of all joint financial accounts, including bank accounts, credit cards, and loans. Discuss how to fairly divide shared debts to avoid any lingering financial burdens.

Financial AspectWhat to Consider
Joint AccountsList all joint bank accounts and credit cards. Discuss how to divide funds and close accounts.
Shared DebtsMake a comprehensive list of shared debts, including loans and credit card balances. Determine how to divide these obligations fairly.
Financial TransparencyEnsure open communication about income, expenses, and financial commitments. Transparency can prevent future disputes.
Division of AssetsDecide how to divide shared assets, such as property, vehicles, and investments. Consider community property laws and tax implications.
Alimony and Child SupportIf applicable, discuss alimony and child support arrangements. Understand legal requirements and establish a clear agreement.

Communication Strategies

Approaching your soon-to-be ex-spouse with clear and respectful communication is essential. As the last anniversary before divorce looms, tensions might be high. Keep in mind that effective communication can help streamline the divorce process and reduce unnecessary conflicts.

Remember, even though your marriage is ending, effective communication is vital, especially if you have children together. Try to put your differences aside and focus on productive conversations that benefit everyone involved.

Child Custody and Parenting

The impact of separation on children cannot be underestimated. As the last anniversary before divorce approaches, it’s crucial to prioritize your children’s well-being. Collaborate with your spouse to establish a parenting plan that ensures stability and consistency for your children.

Co-parenting might be challenging, but your children’s needs should always come first. Focus on creating a supportive environment that allows your kids to adjust to the changes in their lives while feeling loved and secure.

Legal Process and Documentation

Understanding the legal aspects of divorce is vital to navigating the process successfully. Take time to familiarize yourself with the required legal documents and the importance of adhering to court orders. Proper documentation can help protect your rights and ensure a smoother divorce process.

Emotional Well-being

Divorce can take a toll on your emotional well-being. The last anniversary before divorce can bring a mix of emotions to the surface. Coping strategies, such as seeking counseling, joining support groups, and practicing self-care, can help you manage the emotional challenges that come with this transition.

Property Division and Asset Protection

Property division is a significant aspect of divorce. Consider the implications of community property laws and potential tax consequences. Make informed decisions about the division of assets and property, keeping both short-term and long-term considerations in mind.

Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution

Opting for mediation or alternative dispute resolution methods can help minimize conflict and save time and money. The last anniversary before divorce might be a good time to explore these options. They allow you and your spouse to work together to find mutually beneficial solutions instead of going through a lengthy court battle.

Social Media and Privacy

In today’s digital age, be cautious about sharing personal information on social media during a divorce. Your online presence can have an impact on legal proceedings and your personal reputation. Avoid oversharing and be mindful of how your posts might be interpreted in a legal context.

Impact on Extended Family

Divorce doesn’t just affect the couple; it ripples through extended family members as well. As the last anniversary before divorce approaches, consider how to navigate relationships with in-laws, grandparents, and mutual friends respectfully. Open and honest communication can help maintain these connections.

Support Networks

Divorce can be isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Seek emotional and legal support from friends, family, and professionals who understand the complexities of divorce. Surrounding yourself with a strong support network can make a significant difference in your well-being.

Post-Divorce Planning

As the last anniversary before divorce arrives, it’s wise to start thinking about your post-divorce life. Create a plan that includes financial considerations, housing arrangements, and parenting strategies. Having a well-thought-out plan can help you transition more smoothly into your new chapter.

Impact of Social Activities

Engaging in social activities during a divorce can influence how others perceive you and your case. The last anniversary before divorce might be a time when you’re tempted to attend parties and outings. Keep in mind that your behavior can impact legal proceedings and negotiations.

Restraining Orders and Domestic Violence

If domestic violence or safety concerns are present, consider seeking a restraining order. The last anniversary before divorce could be a turning point in prioritizing your well-being and the well-being of any children involved. Consult legal professionals to understand the implications on divorce proceedings.

Moving and Relocation

If moving or relocating is on the horizon, carefully consider the implications, especially if children are involved. As the last anniversary before divorce approaches, take into account how the new location might impact custody arrangements and the overall well-being of your family.

Joint Debts and Financial Obligations

Shared debts and financial obligations need careful management during and after divorce. As the last anniversary before divorce approaches, work with your spouse to determine how to divide these financial responsibilities fairly. Clear agreements can prevent future disputes.

Seeking Professional Advice

Navigating divorce requires expertise from various professionals. As the last anniversary before divorce approaches, consider seeking advice from legal, financial, and mental health professionals. Their guidance can ensure you make informed decisions during this complex process.

Impact on Career and Work-life Balance

Divorce can affect your career and work-life balance. The last anniversary before divorce might prompt you to reflect on how to maintain a healthy equilibrium. Consider strategies for managing work-related stress and focusing on your personal well-being.

Post-Divorce Relationship with Ex-Spouse

Creating a functional co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse is essential for the well-being of your children. As the last anniversary before divorce arrives, think about how you can foster a positive environment for co-parenting. Focus on collaboration and open communication for the sake of your children’s future.

The last anniversary before divorce is a turning point in your journey. By addressing these various considerations, you can navigate the divorce process with a clearer perspective and pave the way for a more positive post-divorce future.​​​​


As we close the chapter on our journey through the last anniversary before divorce, let’s reflect on what we’ve uncovered. Picture this: you, armed with newfound knowledge, standing at the edge of a metaphorical cliff. The wind is a mix of uncertainty and excitement, and below lies the uncharted waters of the divorce process. But here’s the thing—you’re not just dipping your toes; you’re diving in headfirst.

Short Answer: What’s the Takeaway?

Embrace the adventure! Divorce isn’t the end; it’s a new beginning filled with opportunities to redefine your story.

Remember the financial dance we taught you? That’s your chance to waltz into a more financially independent future. The communication tightrope? Well, you’re walking it like a pro, fostering connections that transcend marital status. And those emotional rollercoasters? You’re building emotional resilience that will serve you in ways you never imagined.

And what about the legal labyrinths and post-divorce puzzles? You’re not just solving them; you’re creating a masterpiece that’s uniquely yours. Think of it as your personal jigsaw puzzle—every piece falling into place, forming a picture of strength, growth, and renewal.

The last anniversary before divorce is just a single chapter in your book of life, and you’re the author. You’re not limited by the ending of a marriage; you’re empowered to craft a narrative that reflects who you are now and who you’re becoming. So, take those plot twists in stride, relish in the unexpected character developments, and remember that every setback is an opportunity for a triumphant comeback.

The journey doesn’t stop here; it’s a continuous tale of resilience, growth, and self-discovery. As you turn the page to the next chapter, remember that you’re not just navigating divorce; you’re embracing life’s adventures with open arms.

So, go ahead, write your story with confidence, courage, and a dash of audacity. After all, you’re the hero of this narrative, and the best is yet to come.


If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “16 Steps to Help You Plan & Prepare for Your Texas Divorce

If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “13 Dirty Tricks to Watch Out For in Your Texas Divorce, and How to Counter Them” Today!“Tuesday, September 26th

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I acknowledge your anniversary when separated?

Acknowledging your anniversary when separated can be a delicate situation. It’s important to communicate openly with your ex-spouse and decide together what feels comfortable for both of you. Some people choose to exchange simple well-wishes, while others may opt for a more private reflection on the significance of the day.

What to do on your wedding anniversary when you are divorced?

When facing your wedding anniversary post-divorce, focus on self-care and healing. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy or spending time with supportive friends and family. It’s a chance to create new traditions and celebrate your personal growth.

Why is GREY divorce?

The term “grey divorce” refers to the increasing trend of divorces among older adults, typically aged 50 and above. This phenomenon can be attributed to various factors, including longer life expectancies, changing societal norms, and evolving personal priorities.

How common is divorce after 35 years of marriage?

Divorce after 35 years of marriage, sometimes referred to as a “silver divorce,” is becoming more prevalent. While it’s less common than divorces after shorter marriages, it can happen due to a variety of reasons, such as personal growth, changing dynamics, or empty nest syndrome.

Can you date before your divorce is final in Texas?

Legally, you can date before your divorce is final in Texas. However, it’s advisable to exercise caution, as dating during the divorce process can potentially complicate matters, especially when it comes to child custody arrangements and emotional dynamics.

What happens if you get married before your divorce is final in Texas?

If you remarry before your divorce is final in Texas, the new marriage would generally be considered void. Texas law prohibits bigamy, meaning you cannot be legally married to two people simultaneously. It’s crucial to ensure your divorce is finalized before considering a new marriage.

Why do they give you 60 days until divorce in Texas?

The 60-day waiting period for divorce in Texas serves as a cooling-off period. It allows couples time to reconsider their decision and potentially explore reconciliation. The state aims to encourage thoughtful decision-making before finalizing divorce proceedings.

What is the 10 year rule in divorce in Texas?

The “10-year rule” in divorce refers to the potential eligibility for Social Security benefits based on a former spouse’s work record. If you were married for at least 10 years and meet other criteria, you might be eligible to claim Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse’s earnings.

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