Being treated fairly is an integral part of life both during a family law case and after a patient has come to an end. Likely, part of the reason why you are involved in the family law case in the first place is that you think that you were not being treated fairly by your spouse or partner. There was something about the relationship or how things were being handled with your children where you did not feel like you were getting a fair deal. At a certain point, even the most patient and tolerant people reach a stage where they say enough is enough. If you were at that point, then today's blog post is for you.
If you ask some people, they have no concept of fairness. They will tell you that the fair comes to the county once a year. Otherwise, fairness is something in the eye of the beholder and not something that is guaranteed. This is especially true in their eyes when it comes to relationships. There is nothing that ensures fair treatment when raising your kids or even being in a marriage. What's fair is what you can fight for and earn in a sense. This may go against many of your basic notions of equity and what's right and wrong, but the reality is that many people feel this way. Your spouse may even be one of these people.
So, you need to ask yourself what you can do to ensure that you are treated fairly if that is something you think is essential. Different people certainly have other goals for themselves in their relationships, marriages, and when it comes to raising their children. I would never assume that when I think it is fair or what I believe is essential in any of these critical areas are the same as what you feel is appropriate or important. However, I can tell you what the lawyer believes is necessary and the loss in Texas states as far as family law, fair treatment, and how to approach this subject as a person with a history of being mistreated by their spouse or partner.
If you don't feel the need to protect your rights and do what is fair for you, you should think of the best interests of your children. After all, this is the standard that a family court judge would use to determine issues related to your kids. What is in their best interests? This considers factors present in their life now, in the future, and their emotional and physical well-being. While no standard is perfect and no family law judges perfect, the court will do its best to determine what is likely to end up being most advantageous for your child considering these factors and more. You do not want to put your child in a situation where their rights are being trampled upon by an unsympathetic parent or uncaring to anything but what they want to see happen.
Many times we rationalize things when we are being mistreated. Many of us are non-confrontational, and we don't want to pursue anything if it could be seen as aggressive or threatening. The trouble with this mindset is that it invites aggressive people to act that way. Second is our perception of fairness and strong identity accurate at all. We want to make sure that what we do you want in our daily lives and how we treat others is fair and appropriate. This is much different than the need to Continuously do what our spouse or partner wants to avoid a conflict.
From my experience, this discussion begins and ends with having actual knowledge of what is and what is not appropriate under the law. From there, you're going to have a much better understanding of how you should be treated and how you can expect to treat others and to have them respond favorably. It is always tricky to work with people in difficult relationship circumstances. Indeed, going through a divorce or child custody case is one of those problematic relationship circumstances. You must learn how to tread lightly and balance your interests with the daughters of a Co-parent who has just as much of a right to having a relationship with your child as you do. However, as someone who tends to look the other way and be hurt rather than pursue their rights, it can be necessary for you to have a greater sense of self and a more robust backbone when it comes to figuring out how you deserve to be treated and what it means to protect your rights.
Two of the most critical areas of your life when it comes to building a relationship with your children are the time you have with them and your ability to provide for them from a physical standpoint. If the past two years have taught us anything, we cannot take anything as a given any longer. What we may have thought of previously as a guarantee or something we can certainly count on is probably no longer is the case. Rabbi, we can consider what our life looks like from the perspective of tabbing to pursue our rights rather than expect that they will be permanently honored by other people. Is simple truth is that sometimes we must be aggressive in defending ourselves and what is important to us.
If your ability to provide for your children and spend time with your children is essential to you, then this blog post is something you will want to pay close attention to. When it comes to sharing parenting time with someone, you sometimes need to approach your circumstances as a parent who understands what is at stake in their lives. Once you begin to look the other way in matters related to your Co-parent and your child, they may start to develop a perspective that it is OK to mistreat you or otherwise take advantage of you in matters related to your children. Maybe they think you will not protect yourself because you are weak or otherwise not committed to protecting yourself.
A comparison for you to consider
one of the lessons that I hope you will take away from today's blog post is that there is nothing wrong with pursuing your rights. This does not make you selfish, aggressive, or intolerant. Your rights are there for a reason. The primary reason you have rights is not to benefit yourself as a parent. Instead, the reason why you have rights as a parent is to satisfy the life of your children primarily. Yes, you have the right as a parent to get some satisfaction and enjoyment out of raising your children. However, it is mainly your children who intend to benefit from your relationship with them.
The comparison that I think is an interesting one to consider is protecting and enforcing your rights as a parent compared to building wealth. In my life, I have talked to some people who are nearly obsessed with growing wealth and making money. These people constantly think about work and are always making a dollar mode, if you know what I mean. These people instinctively want to make money and understand the importance of doing so.
On the other hand, I have also known people who are hesitant to build wealth or make money but believe that doing so is something they do not want to pursue. These are the sort of folks who say that the best things in life are free. In many ways, these people are correct. I have found that the best things that I have experienced cost no money and are technically free. Think about interactions with your family and children as examples of things that cost no money but bring even the most joy happiness. And that way, the people that have no interest in building wealth or accumulating money are correct.
However, I will note that the people who believe that the best things in life are free may be missing the point a tad bit. Building wealth and building a life for yourself and your family does not necessarily mean using that wealth only to buy things. The purpose of building wealth is to give yourself options. When you have some money in the bank, you give yourself options. Sure, you can spend that money I'm whatever you would like, but you can also save it, give it or do some combination of the two. If you have no use for money beyond taking care of the essentials, you may want to use your wealth or any extra money to donate to your church or a charity. My point is that when you take the time to consider the importance of wealth, you have options that you give yourself. Those options can be used to benefit people other than you.
I think the same can be said for your rights as a parent in Texas. By aggressively defending and pursuing your rights as a parent in Texas, you are not only putting yourself in a position where you can take advantage of those rights, but you are also doing a lot to benefit your children. Ultimately, it is your kids that stand to benefit a great deal from your pursuit of those rights in your defense of them. While you may not be interested in aggressively doing so on your behalf, it is very much worthwhile for you to consider what it means to pursue these rights on behalf of your children.
This is the lens through that I would invite you to look at these issues as we complete today's blog post. Please do not think that I am writing this blog post only for you to be able to think about issues related to your parental rights through the prism of sticking it to your ex-spouse or doing what it takes to steal time from your Co-parent for yourself. That is not what I am talking about. However, I think there is a time and a place for a discussion like this. Identifying those times where you can and should defend your rights and pursue them to benefit your children is incredibly important. Like anything else, it takes time to build this muscle and be able to develop the confidence necessary to do so. However, I hope that in reading blog posts like this, you can begin to create a sense of self is needed 2 develop strategies, and learn how to protect yourself and enhance your relationship with your children in the meantime.
The relationship between visitation and child support
Today's blog post title is all about child support and visitation. There are two components to this discussion in a typical Texas divorce or child custody case. One parent is typically named as the parent with the ability to determine the kids' primary residence. This parent will then have the right to receive child support payments from their Co-parent. On the other hand, the parent who is ordered to pay child support will have a right to have visitation time with the children based on the agreement made and mediation or on the court orders rendered by a judge after a trial.
As you may imagine, issues in life may lead to you or your Co-parent being unable to make child support payments on time consistently. We have already discussed how the past couple of years has likely shown us that life sometimes throws us curveballs. In the case of this pandemic, we have seen that life can throw us a curveball after curveball after curveball. My point is that you, as a parent, cannot always be sure of what will happen in life. We can prepare as best as possible for life's twists and turns, but sometimes unexpected events arise that we cannot qualify for adequately.
If you suddenly lost your job and had no money in the reserve to make your next child support payment, then you may be concerned with whether your ex-spouse could potentially withhold custody of your children until you become current on child support. The question you would need to ask yourself is whether payment of child support is your key to visiting with your children. Is staying current on your child support prerequisite for having your visitation rights honored? On the other hand, if you are the parent who receives child support and I've not received payment in a couple of months, you may be wondering about whether or not it is appropriate for you to withhold time with your children from your ex-spouse until they can become current on child support.
The answer to either question is that child support; hey mate not a prerequisite towards receiving custody or visitation of your children. Withholding visitation for the failure to pay child support is not appropriate and not allowed under Texas family law. Withholding child support if you have been denied visitation with your children is also not allowed. This can strike some as unfair but remember that we are talking about what is best for your children here and not what is necessarily best for you or your Co-parent.
If you have child support withheld from you for any reason, then denying your children time with their parents is not fair. Forbidding your children monetary support is also not appropriate if you have visitation time withheld from you. These simple realities can take some time to process and can strike you as being rather unfair, but the point is that withholding support or visitation to get back at your Co-parent is not appropriate. There are ways to address these issues, such as through an enforcement case that is appropriate and honored under the law. Consider speaking with an experienced family law attorney before making decisions that can not only put you in a legally precarious position but also could hurt your children.
Questions about the material contained in today's blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today's blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultation six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are an excellent way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law and how the filing of divorce may impact your family circumstances for a child custody case.
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