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If You Have Primary Custody (Custodial Parent), You Can Still Be Ordered to Pay Child Support?

“Do I have to pay child support if I have primary custody?” This question frequently arises among parents managing child custody arrangements. Although holding primary custody usually means your child or children reside with you most of the time, it does not necessarily mean you are exempt from paying child support.

Child support depends on several factors, including each parent’s income, the children’s needs, and the custody arrangement. Even with primary custody, you might still need to pay child support if your income substantially exceeds the other parent’s or if the court decides it’s necessary for the children’s well-being. It’s essential to consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and obligations regarding child support in your specific situation.

Child Custody: Court Not Mandatory

Many people in your position assume that they will tell their story to a judge in a child custody case, who then decides the outcome. It’s a common belief that filing for divorce or a child custody case results in an immediate court appearance and a judge’s decision. However, this is not true. Going through court to complete your case is the exception rather than the norm.

Rather than going through the courtroom, most people like you who undergo any type of family law case end up settling with their co-parent. This typically occurs in one of two ways. Firstly, you and your co-parent might settle your case informally, even without needing an attorney. By working through your issues, you can reach an informal settlement agreement, whether orally or in writing. You can then use this agreement to draft final orders to operate under in the future.

Next, you could put yourself in a situation where you and your co-parent can settle your case through informal settlement negotiations. For most people, this means hiring attorneys and attending mediation. Mediation is a setup where you and your co-parent mutually agree to name an independent, third-party lawyer to help the two of you settle your case. Rather than have the judge intercede and make decisions for you, the mediator would intercede and help the two of you work on the issues together. This works well because the mediator can help you understand what a judge is likely to say on any given issue so that you can anticipate what could happen if you do not settle your case and instead go to trial.

Negotiating hard and being hardheaded don’t have to be the same thing

I have worked with clients who have been great, tough negotiators. These folks would not back down from a fight and would stick to their principles through thick and thin. Even when their spouse or co-parent would kick and screen on any number of issues these people would not back down and did what they thought was right. I admire folks like this because it is very hard to stand up for what you believe especially when your time, money, and children are on the line. Doing what you think is best for your children is an incredibly admirable quality to possess, especially when that quality can cause you to face massive resistance from your co-parent or spouse.

Here is where being a tough, hard-nosed negotiator can take a hard left turn and become something where you are on the verge of acting hardheaded. In every case, there comes a point where everyone confronts an issue that cannot be negotiated. This is your “hill to die on”, so to speak. Your issue is that you cannot have it any other way than how you want it. You believe so strongly in this issue that nothing your co-parent could say, do, or offer makes a bit of difference. Rather, what you try to figure out is how to accomplish that goal. Maybe you need to give up some ground on another issue?

Negotiations vs. Court

At a certain point, you’ll realize that being unable to compromise on a particular subject leads to a dead-end in negotiations. I am a huge fan of negotiations, mediation, and everything that can help you to avoid going to court. However, once you and your co-parent go around the merry-go-round of negotiations enough times it becomes clear that you cannot negotiate your way out of every subject in your case. This means that if you all reach an issue that you cannot negotiate your way through the only way out of the case is to present that issue to a judge.

If you understand this, have done what you can to avoid it, and feel comfortable moving forward then there isn’t much left to discuss. Attending your hearing or trial and attempting to win on this issue is what you are setting yourself up for. Nothing wrong with that. However, what I would recommend against is doing so when you do not have a great chance of winning in front of a judge. You and your attorney may have overestimated the evidence that you have available to you. Your circumstances may not be conducive to you winning in court. Sometimes you may need to hear that from someone other than your attorney to understand what the stakes are and whether it is worth your while to risk a courtroom venture.

Choosing Wisely: Mediation Over Court

When you hear from a mediator, someone who is completely independent, that you are attempting to win an unwinnable war it should give you some pause when it comes to the proceeding. That doesn’t mean that you should abandon your principles or give up. You can disagree in good faith with a mediator and decide to move forward to a trial on any issue in your child custody or divorce case. However, to do so without seriously considering the impressions and positions of your mediator would be a mistake. Mediation is your last and best chance to avoid the uncertainty of a family law trial.

This is all to say that you must consider the full range of circumstances and potential outcomes before signing up for a trip to court. You can actively engage in your case and support your child without rushing into a courtroom battle that may have little chance of success. You’re not obligated to defend an unwinnable position in court. Instead, consider accepting a settlement offer in mediation and moving forward. Rejecting the settlement offer could lead to a less favorable decision from a judge. Essentially, you would have paid money to get a worse result. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Distinguish Hardheadedness from Effective Negotiation

The bottom line here is that you need to be able to distinguish between what makes you hardheaded and what makes you a hard negotiator. Being a person of principles and values does not mean that you must stick by arguments and positions that are unfavorable in the courtroom. Many people believe that they are giving up on their children or not doing what is best for them by settling out of court rather than taking an issue to trial. However, some issues just cannot be won based on circumstances beyond your control.

A mediator can help you to see this. He or she will not be there to give you specific advice on your case, but they can provide you with context and information based on their experiences. The mediator may be a former judge and therefore they may be capable of providing you with first-hand experience of what they did in court insert similar circumstances to what you are facing. Do not disregard information even if it is not favorable to you or if it means backing down from an important position. Rather, you can take their positions and consideration and work with your attorney to determine what steps to take.

Mixing Mediation and Trial: Strategies

Another important piece of this puzzle is that you can settle your case-specific issues and proceed to a trial or hearing on others. A mediated settlement agreement can settle the entirety of your case, or it can settle only a few portions here and there. It is not out of the ordinary for a family to settle most issues and they only take their case to hear your trial on the few that they could not negotiate their way through. What I am not saying is to ignore the reality of your case and be hardheaded when it comes to issues. Accepting that there are circumstances that you cannot necessarily control is not giving up or selling your children short.

For some, it means recognizing that despite negotiating as vigorously as possible, there’s a distinction between being a tough negotiator and merely being stubborn. You may be better off accepting a temporary defeat on a certain issue and then biding your time until later. Think about it in terms of a strategic retreat at this moment to fight a battle you can win in the future. You will have the opportunity to modify any orders agreed to at this moment in the future. This allows for adjustments when circumstances in your life become more favorable for achieving your goals in the initial child custody or divorce case.

Prioritizing Children: Texas Family Law

As with anything in the world of Texas family law, this is an incredibly fact-specific circumstance. I’m trying my best to give you a general overview when it comes to subjects like these periods of course I don’t know anything about your specific scenario or the circumstances involving you and your kids.

With that said, it is wise to take as much advice as you can, understand what is best for your children, and decide from there. Sometimes if he removes what you want in your ego from the circumstances you can see that what is best for your children may not be exactly what you want or what makes you feel good at the moment. This can be a hard lesson to learn but in the world of Texas family law, it is one that you and your children will benefit from immensely.

Can you be ordered to pay child support as the primary conservator?

Your child’s best interest is the primary consideration in determining who pays child support and to what extent. In Texas, a court can order a joint managing conservator to pay child support to a Co-parent. There is nothing that bars a judge from ordering that a primary conservator pay the possessory conservator child support.

Many people believe that if they secure the exclusive right to decide their child’s primary residence, they will not need to pay child support. However, under certain conditions, a family court judge may require you to pay child support, even if you hold primary custody of your child. Let’s examine a hypothetical scenario that reflects our situation to illustrate how you could receive an order to pay child support after your divorce or child custody case.

Custody Arrangements: Common Family Law

Let’s assume that you worked a job where you had to work weekends. Your weeks were wide open, and you were able to care for your child during these times period your husband cared for your child on the weekends. During your marriage, both you and your husband actively participated in your child’s life. After a trial, the judge determined that you were better suited to have the exclusive right to determine your child’s primary residence. Conversely, the judge awarded your spouse possession of your child on the first, 3rd, and 5th weekends of each month with two weeks in the summer and alternating holidays with you. Your Co-parent was awarded a standard possession order. This is a typical scenario that plays out in family law cases all the time.

However, let’s also acknowledge that the court ordered you to pay $1000 per month in child support to your ex-husband and cover your child’s health insurance. During the divorce proceedings, the court decided to sell the family house, using the proceeds to pay off your credit card debt and splitting the remainder between you and your ex-husband. He would receive 60% of the remaining proceeds from the sale, while you would receive 40%. Despite having the authority to determine your children’s primary residence, how could you still be mandated to pay child support?

Income Disparity: Child Support Considerations

If you have earned consistently more income than your husband throughout your marriage, then this would be the first factor I would look to. An additional factor that is of great importance would be if you’re Co-parent could submit evidence to a judge showing that their income was less than their monthly expenses. If your spouse is trying to better themselves through going to school to earn more money that could show a great deal of industriousness on their part. You may need to pay child support if the judge aims to maintain a similar lifestyle for your child with both you and your co-parent.

What should this tell you as you begin your divorce or child custody case? Firstly, you must consider the entirety of the circumstances in your case. You cannot assume that being named primary conservator means you won’t have to pay child support. If your circumstances look like the hypothetical situation, I just laid out to you then your chances of being able to retain primary custody of every child but also having to pay child support may be greater than you think. As with anything else, having the experience of a fair law attorney by your side to help you through these issues is of great importance both for you and your child.

Conclusion

The question “Do I have to pay child support if I have primary custody?” highlights the intricacies of child custody arrangements. Even if you hold primary custody, this does not automatically exempt you from paying child support. Factors such as income levels and the specific needs of the children play a crucial role in determining support obligations. To gain a clear understanding of your rights and responsibilities, it’s essential to seek legal advice, ensuring that you navigate custody matters with clarity and fairness.

Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. During these consultations, you can learn more about Texas family law and how filing for divorce or a child custody case may affect your family circumstances.

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  3. Mother’s Rights Attorney in Johnson County Texas: Navigating Child Custody and Support
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  8. Children’s Passports and International Travel after Texas Divorce
  9. Child Custody Basics for Texas Parents Revisited
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  14. Can cannabis use affect your parenting and custody rights?
  15. What happens to child support if a parent dies?

Frequently Asked Questions

What does an initial consultation consist of?

n initial consultation consists of a meeting between you and a divorce attorney to discuss the details of your case, gather information, understand your goals, and provide you with an overview of the divorce process.

Is the custodial parent always the mother?

The custodial parent is not always the mother. The custodial parent holds primary physical custody of the child, regardless of gender.

What does custodial mother mean?

In a child custody case, the custodial mother is the mother who is granted primary physical custody of the child.

Who is the custodial parent in Texas?

In Texas, the custodial parent is the parent who has been granted primary physical custody of the child by a court order or agreement.

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