Skip to content 
In yesterday’s blog post, we explored the right of first refusal in parenting plans within family law cases. This right mandates that if you or your ex-spouse needs to be away from your child for an extended period during a court-ordered possession period, you must contact the other parent before arranging alternative care. So, what are the pros and cons of right of first refusal custody? Rather than leaving your child with a babysitter or relative, your ex-spouse would need to reach out to you first if they had to leave unexpectedly, such as for an urgent work commitment.
This situation necessitates understanding the pros and cons of including right of first refusal in your child custody orders. As I often advise in such circumstances, it’s worthwhile to revisit yesterday’s blog post before reading today’s, to ensure you have a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Once you have done so, I encourage you to take a look at what we have to say in regard to questions that you should ask yourself before agreeing to a right of first refusal.
Do you and your ex-spouse agree on how situations are to be communicated to one another?
To be unclear is to be unkind, as a wise man once told me. You and your spouse must not only agree on the general principles regarding the right of first refusal but also ensure that you clearly outline the specifics of the plan in your orders. One crucial aspect to consider is how you will offer the right to the other parent. What are the methods by which the other parent can accept? How much time can one parent provide to the other in order to satisfy the requirement for providing the right of first refusal?
Basically- is the right functional enough so as to provide you and your ex-spouse with the benefits that the right affords you both while being flexible enough so as not to paint each of you into a corner that interferes with your abilities to parent to your child and engage in last minute changes in your plans. Remember that the right of first refusal is far from a necessity for your case. It is a nice add-on for certain parents in certain situations.
Consider the source as far as which parent is requesting that the right be included
If your ex-spouse is the one who is requesting that a right of first refusal be included in a parenting plan then you need to consider if he or she has proven themselves to be responsible in the past as far as who has done the caretaking for your child when he or she was in that parent’s possession. If you are going through a divorce and have no track record to base any opinion on then you may not want to agree to this right being included. You probably have a good understanding if your child’s other parent will go ahead and turn over your child to their own relative once the right of first refusal is taken up.
On the other hand, if your ex-spouse has shown for years that he or she has always taken all of the time with your child that was provided to him or her you probably have a fair amount of data to make a decision based off of. It’s more than likely that he or she will actually be present with your child during the time that you are unable to care for your child. As a result, you should feel more confident that your child will be in good hands and that including a right of first refusal is in your child’s best interests.
Does your child’s other parent display bad behavior surrounding you and your personal life?
Once you and your child’s other parent are no longer together in a functioning relationship, he or she likely does not need to know all of the ins and outs of your life. With that said, it is worthwhile for you to examine whether or not you trust your child’s other parent. Has he or she ever tried to read your emails, look up information about you online, or otherwise sought information that he or she should not have access to?
On a related subject, have you and the other parent had prior issues involving lack of trust, dating violence, infidelity, or anything related to those subjects? If so you may re-opening your life to unnecessary intrusion by your ex-spouse. Consider whether or not you will be able to wall off a certain segment of your personal life in order to open up another to him or her. An ex-spouse can more easily learn your schedule, habits, and other details when a court order forces you to constantly keep them informed of your comings and goings through a right of first refusal.
What effect will the right of first refusal have on your ability to have your extended family spend time with your child?
In most cases, you have the freedom to choose who your child spends time with during your custody periods. This includes taking your child to your mother’s house, even if your ex-spouse disapproves. Your ex-spouse has no authority to prevent this. Moreover, your mother can also babysit your child if your ex-spouse needs to work unexpectedly.
The same principle applies to you and your extended family. During your custody periods, your ex-spouse no longer has significant control over who spends time with your child or when—unless a right of first refusal is included in your parenting plan. Without this provision, you have the freedom to have your relatives come over to watch your child for an afternoon. However, under a right of first refusal clause, you must inform your ex-spouse of any planned absence from your home and give them the opportunity to take possession of your child during that time.
Conclusion
Incorporating the right of first refusal into your parenting plan involves weighing the pros and cons of right of first refusal custody. By adopting this provision, you exchange some personal decision-making autonomy for additional opportunities for your ex-spouse to spend time with your child. This decision is personal. You should make it with careful consideration of your unique circumstances and the dynamics between you and your ex-spouse.
It’s essential to evaluate whether this arrangement suits both you and your child. As discussed in our recent blog posts, the right of first refusal in custody might not be ideal for every family considering its pros and cons. If you have any reservations or uncertainties about how this might impact your situation, it’s important to take the time to fully understand the implications before finalizing your parenting plan.
Questions on the right of first refusal or any other issue in family law? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC
After reading through our blogs on this subject if you have any questions about the right of first refusal we would be honored if you were to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC today. Our attorneys are licensed and practice exclusively in the field of family law. Sitting down with one of our attorneys you can ask questions on whatever subjects you would like to learn about. We represent people in our community just like you and take a great deal of pride in doing so.
Ebook
If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “16 Steps to Help You Plan & Prepare for Your Texas Divorce”
If you want to know more about how to prepare, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “13 Dirty Tricks to Watch Out For in Your Texas Divorce, and How to Counter Them” Today!”
Other Related Articles:
- The Co-Parenting Game: Understanding the Right of First Refusal
- Understanding What Is a Right of First Refusal in Texas Visitation Plan
- The Right of First Refusal in a Texas Family Law Case
- Examining the Rights and Duties of Texas Parents
- Handling your child support duties as a disabled veteran in Texas
- Texas Child Support Uncovered
- What happens during child support mediation?
- Child Support in Texas: From Guideline Levels to Ending Obligations and Everything In Between
- Child Support Laws in Texas: A Comprehensive Guide
- A Look at Texas Child Support Orders
- Texas Divorce and the Right of First Refusal
- What is a Right of First Refusal?
Frequently Asked Questions
The right of first refusal in Texas child custody cases refers to the opportunity for one parent to take care of the child if the other parent is unavailable during their scheduled parenting time. This right allows the noncustodial parent to have the first option to care for the child before seeking alternative childcare.
In Texas, the first right of refusal typically means that if one parent needs childcare for a certain period during their scheduled parenting time, they must offer the other parent the chance to care for the child before seeking external childcare. The specifics can vary based on the terms outlined in the parenting plan or court orders.
In Texas, there isn’t a specific age at which a child can refuse to see a parent. However, as children become older and more mature, their preferences and wishes may carry more weight in court decisions. The court will consider the child’s best interests and reasons for refusing visitation.
In Texas, both parents typically have equal rights unless the court determines that it’s in the child’s best interests to modify the standard possession order. Courts aim to ensure that both parents have a meaningful and ongoing relationship with their child, focusing on the child’s well-being.
