Today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan focuses on whether your child’s mother can move with your child without your permission. Any questions you have about the material contained in today’s blog post can be addressed to our experienced and helpful legal team.
Let’s suppose that you are a father who has a seven-year-old son. You and your child’s mother divorced four years ago but the past few years have been good for the relationship of you and your boy. The child’s mother and you get along fine. She does not attempt to interfere with your visitation time. Even though your son lives with his mother primarily that does not mean that you have no time with him. Rather, you and your mom split time with your son on a fairly even basis. It’s not as much time as you’d like but it’s common for you to see your son at least a few days every week.
The gaps between seeing your son are excruciating for you. Your life revolves around your son’s schedule. Even though you work a full-time job you make time for all of your son’s school events. He started playing soccer last year and you volunteered to coach his time. In short, for anything your son is interested in you have a front-row seat. In short, you would do anything for your son.
Change happens in family law
The old saying goes: the only constant is change. As much as we may try to avoid it, change is inevitable. Even small changes occur in the lives of families over years. For young families that change tends to happen faster and in bigger chunks. Even if the changes are positive you can still expect to experience changes. For example, consider how many changes you have seen in your family just from your kids getting older. On the other hand, illness, disability, or divorce change families, too.
What this means is that your family needs to be able to adjust to these changing circumstances. For some families, quick changes are possible on the fly. A simple conversation between mom and dad can result in major changes in the lives of families. If your family has gone through a family law case then that likely is not possible. A court order between you and your co-parent determines how your family life is structured.
The purpose of a court order is to provide you and your family with marching orders. Because there are two households in your family everyone needs to be on the same page. Your court orders determine visitation, possession, access, and support of your children. Understanding those court orders is essential. They are your guide towards parenting your child. That said- the change we mentioned earlier still happens.
How to adjust to changing circumstances in the life of your family
The family courts of Texas are aware of the changing nature of families over time. An important part of this discussion is that your family is not bound by the court orders you have. That is- as long as you all can work with one another on changes. To think that every family that has ever been to family court follows their court order exactly would be a mistake. Surely, almost every family makes temporary or “one-time” adjustments based on changing circumstances. However, many of those changes only go into effect for short periods of time.
After that, families will revert back to the original court orders. Then, when circumstances demand it the family will make changes. So on and so forth. Again- families make changes where needed to suit the demands of one another. Many of those changes can be anticipated. For example, if you and your wife divorce while your daughter is two years old you may have possession orders for now and in the future when your daughter is older. This reality accounts for the present situation where your daughter is younger. However, it also takes into consideration that she will grow up and the present orders may not suit her at that point.
The Texas Family Code also allows families to modify court orders. A child custody modification must meet two qualifications. Number one- you must show that there has been a material and substantial change in your family’s circumstances since you were last in court. That change must not have been in place when the order was issued. The next requirement is that the proposed change must be in the best interests of your child. Prove these elements and you are on your way.
Working with an attorney to modify a court order
Modifying an already existing court order is difficult. Family courts understand that consistency and stability in the life of your child are of the utmost importance. As a result, they seek to maintain the status quo as much as possible. When a modification petition is filed a document known as an affidavit must be included. An affidavit is a sworn statement from you that includes the facts that justify your modification attempt.
A judge will read the affidavit and determine whether the circumstances merit a hearing. Working with an experienced family law attorney helps you to put your best foot forward. Making a mistake or failing to include important information in your affidavit can lead to a missed opportunity. An attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan can help you draft an accurate and truthful affidavit.
From there, you need to consider whether negotiation is possible. In some situations, parents can work together to find a middle ground. Finding a middle ground can help to avoid a situation where going to court is necessary. Attorneys help clients find creative solutions to their problems without going to court. Talk with an attorney at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today. We have what it takes to get your modification case off to a great start.
Developing a strong co-parenting relationship
Through the ups and downs of family life your relationship with your co-parent matters. Many of the situations that arise for families can be handled better when parents are on the same page. This does not mean that you and your co-parent have to agree on every issue. Or that you two cannot have your arguments and express emotions. However, what it does mean is that your child benefits when you and your co-parent are capable of working together. Do not undersell the importance of your ability to work alongside your co-parent when raising your children.
Co-parenting comes about as a result of a failed relationship. Either your marriage or your dating relationship did not succeed. Now you have gone through one family law case and are looking at a second. The benefit of a solid co-parenting relationship is that you can avoid the possibility of a second family law case. Through negotiation and communication, small issues remain small and can even go away. Whereas in a situation where you and your co-parent cannot work together small issues tend to grow in size.
This is the type of scenario that is playing out when your ex-wife wants to move in with your child. What started off as something minor has now blossomed into something difficult to handle. When you find yourself in one of those situations- where a small problem has grown rapidly- it is best to have help. Consider reaching out to the Law Office of Bryan Fagan for guidance on how to move forward.
The best interests of the child’s standard
When you are facing a situation where a potential move is headed your way it is important to remember what is happening. This is not a circumstance that primarily impacts you or your co-parent. Undoubtedly, this is a situation where the two of you play a role. However, it is your child who stands to be impacted most acutely. Being able to gear your life around that of your child is what co-parenting is all about. In a multiple household family, this is the only way that the two of you can expect to successfully raise your child.
The best interest of the child standard attempts to lend a hand in this regard. The best interests of the child standard is applied across Texas family law cases involving children. Judges are given latitude when making decisions which impact families like yours. They must also look to the best interests of your children. Factors like your child’s age, health, educational needs and physical safety matter. This is the framework where decisions are made on behalf of your children.
You and your co-parent are presumed to make decisions which are in the best interests of your children. Therefore, parents are given wide latitude when making decisions within a family law case. As long as your decisions do not violate the norms of Texas public policy you can expect a court to abide by your agreements. Talking with an experienced family law attorney can help guide you in arriving at good outcomes for your children.
Why moving with your child may be an option to consider
As we have talked about today there is reason to believe that legitimate changes have been ongoing in the life of your family since you were last in family court. It would be an exception to the rule that change is constant in the lives of families if your way had not experienced any changes in that time. As such, consider that your ex-wife likely has not thought of a move randomly or without a great deal of thought. There are two situations which often lead to thoughts of moving: a new job or relocating to be near family.
What if your ex-wife was offered a new job or promotion in another Texas city? We Texans know that our major cities are not exactly next door to one another. As a result, a move from Houston to Austin or Dallas to San Antonio is a major undertaking. For some people that move is reasonable considering the professional enhancement which would come with it. That includes an increase in pay and/or prestige.
Another situation which could lead to a move is the desire to be closer to family. For example, you and your ex-wife may have lived in Houston because your family lives here. Now that you are divorced she would like to move back to Amarillo to be closer to her family. With that in mind, your ex-wife is now wanting to move with your daughter back to North Texas. Is the move beneficial for your child? That is the question a court would be concerned with.
Is moving in the best interests of your child?
This is the question that the court would ultimately need to determine. Your ex-wife wants to move to a new job. Fair enough. However, she would need to first prove that there has been a material and substantial change in circumstances sufficient to justify the move. A new job opportunity may not be sufficient. After all- there are plenty of job opportunities in Houston where your family lives. Finding something comparable is very likely in this area.
Another consideration for the court to decide is whether the move is justified based on the probable impact on you and your child. The courts of Texas presume that it is in a child’s best interests t have a meaningful relationship with both parents. This presumption would need to be dealt with by your ex-wife if she wants to pull off this move to Amarillo. There is no doubt that there would be some advantages for her in moving. Do those advantages trickle down to your child?
Sorting out this topic can be tricky. On top of all these factors, there is no room for middle ground here. When you and your ex-wife cannot agree on a child support modification there is likely a financial middle ground. In this situation involving a move, you would either keep your child in Houston or see her move across the State. Moving to someplace in between Houston and Amarillo would not serve anyone well.
What to do if you find out your ex-wife is planning a move quickly?
It is a much different situation to find yourself dealing with a potential move for your child on a short-term basis. Your ex-wife deciding to up and move with your daughter to Amarillo is an abrupt decision, no doubt. It would require her to get a lot of things together and then pull your child out of school. Not telling you about the move is very unlikely. However, for the sake of argument, let’s suppose that she did exactly that. One day your daughter lives just a few miles from you. Then you find out through social media that she lives across the state. What would you do then?
First, it is time to come up with a plan. Not that you won’t want to take immediate action. However, there is a difference between acting and having a plan. Think about what you are going to do. Driving up to Amarillo to take your child back to Houston physically may be the first thought that comes to mind. As reasonable as that may be there are better uses of your time. If you do not believe your child is in danger you can plan ahead.
Reach out to an experienced attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our attorneys know what steps to take to protect your child in this situation. Filing a motion for emergency temporary orders is a start. If there is a geographic restriction in place then your ex-spouse has violated that restriction. If not, your ex-spouse cannot make a move that does not allow you to fulfill your obligations under the visitation orders. More than anything do not expect the situation to solve itself.
Final thoughts on whether you can stop your child’s mother from moving
At the end of the day, you want what is best for your child. However, your ex-spouse may have very different views on how to serve your child’s best interests. Having a competing viewpoint from your ex-wife may not be anything new. However, when that viewpoint threatens to destroy your relationship with your child that is when you need to come up with a plan.
When your child’s mother wants to move with your child that means you should act. Talk to her about the situation and determine her motivations. There may be solutions which can be found that do not require a moving truck. If she will not work with you through communication, then it is time to consider contacting an experienced Texas family law attorney.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
