1. Do not speak negatively about your spouse in front of the kids.
For starters- it's not fair to your kids to speak bad about their mom or dad in front of them. They aren't able to understand or relate to what you're going through and they don't want to hear negative things about one of their parents.
Kids want to loved and cared for. Kids need consistency and stability in a time that their mom and dad are taking that away from them. Don't make the situation worse by creating animosity between your child and the other parent.
On another level- once the case is under way and temporary orders are in place a standard order is for parents to not use derogatory language regarding the other parent in front of the kid(s). Violating a court order is bad and has consequences. Don't violate a court order.
2. Do not ignore the advice of counsel.
Your divorce attorney is there as a sounding board for your ideas, concerns and frustrations. We understand that and give the client a great amount of leeway in speaking their mind. After all- any case we work on belongs to the client, not us. That goes for any attorney at any law office working on any divorce.
That being said- a good attorney will not only tell you the things you want to hear or make you happy, but will also tell you things that may frustrate or even anger you somewhat. This is done so that the client can have a full perspective on their case to allow them to make an informed decision on any particular subject.
It's easy to take the position of- "My attorney is fighting harder for my spouse than he/she is for me.", when you hear some advice that you may not like. The more difficult (but far more productive) position to take is to consider the advice, look at it from the other person's vantage point (gasp!) and then decide whether to apply it to your case.
No matter how difficult or stubborn or impossible to do with your spouse is, the fact remains that most family law cases in Texas settle out of court prior to trial. This is due in no small part to experienced attorneys working hard with their clients to resolve issues and settle disputes. Their advice is integral to this process.
3. Do not go to "war" against your spouse.
Something that I've found in my time spent representing clients at The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC is that clients have long (very long) memories when it comes to feeling slighted by their spouse. The time that their husband didn't pick up their daughter from Girl Scouts on time or when he fed the kids ice cream for dinner and didn't give Junior his asthma inhaler, clients have keen recollections of when their spouse exhibited poor judgment.
That being said- their memories invariably get fuzzy when asked to consider their own shortcomings, bad acts or faults. "There are two sides to every story" is an axiom for a reason, and this especially true in divorce cases.
Even if your spouse is a bad person. Even if your spouse has harmed you in some way. Use your divorce as a means to dissolve a negative relationship in your life, salvage as much of your property and assets as possible and, where applicable, be able to build future relationships with your kids. Once the negotiating table becomes a battlefield problems are sure to follow.
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.