In a perfect world, families would use a final decree of divorce only as a fallback measure after completing a divorce. You and your ex-spouse would collaborate to resolve issues independently and deviate from the orders as necessary.
This approach would create a more flexible situation, tailored to your family’s needs. As a result, your family would experience greater happiness and cohesion, significantly reducing the need to return to court over divorce-related issues.
If you are working through a divorce that involves family violence, you know that your world is far from perfect, however. Not only is your family unit dissolving before your eyes, but your ability to co-parent with your soon-to-be ex-spouse is minimal because of their issues and history of abusing you and your child. In situations where most families could resolve their conflicts with words, your family may have to head back to court for any resolution. This is not ideal, either for you or your ex-spouse.
Recommendations for Language to Be Included in Your Final Decree of Divorce
In anticipation of a return to court or to ensure yourself the best opportunity to arrive at a comprehensive and well-written divorce decree, it makes sense to be as specific as possible in drafting your final decree of divorce. There will be fewer questions about what a particular order means and less of a reason for you and your ex-spouse to talk and interact. While I usually would encourage ex-spouses to communicate, if your ex-spouse has a history of being violent with you, this is not a desirable outcome.
An ideal Final Decree of Divorce anticipates future events that your family could encounter and then considers those future events. For instance, you should make sure that your order is as specific as possible when exchanging locations and times for alternating periods of possession of your child. Think ahead to determine if the location is safe and feasible for you. A location may be convenient for your spouse but not for you. Likewise, you may not feel safe in a particular place and should make this known to your attorney.
Who Is Enabled to Pick Up and Drop Off Your Child During Possession Exchanges Under Your Order?
Often a Final Decree of Divorce will include language that allows a competent adult to accompany a child for drop-off/pick up at these exchange points. For example, if your spouse gets delayed at work until 7:00 p.m. on a Friday, he can arrange for his mother to pick up the kids from your home. This arrangement often proves effective, especially for logistical ease during child pick-up and drop-off.
However, in situations involving family violence, the presence of certain individuals during pick-up or drop-off of your child might cause discomfort. Discuss actively with your attorney if your ex-spouse’s family members have threatened or behaved unpleasantly towards you or your child. Ensure your final orders clearly name those prohibited from assisting in child pick-up and drop-off.
Do You Need to Include Limitations on Travel- Either Domestic or International?
Violence is a means of exerting control over a person. If your spouse has been violent with you or your child, the likely motivation is control. After you and your spouse divorce, their control over you and your life lessens, and they might seek new ways to maintain some control.
Keep this in mind and proactively include a clause in your final divorce decree. This clause should mandate that both you and your spouse notify each other in advance about any overnight trips with your child during your respective custodial periods.
You decide the clause’s specificity. Some decrees detail day-by-day itineraries and include emergency contact information.
Regarding international travel, you and your ex-spouse should agree on who keeps your child’s passport when not traveling. Often, the parent with the right to determine the child’s primary residence holds the passport. This precaution prevents the nonprimary parent from unexpectedly taking your child abroad during a weekend visit without your knowledge or consent.
Enforcing a Final Decree of Divorce
Post-divorce life can bring unexpected challenges, especially when an ex-spouse disregards the Final Decree of Divorce. In Texas, if your ex-spouse, particularly one with a history of family violence, violates the court order, you have the option to file an enforcement lawsuit. This step is crucial, as reasoning with someone who feels unjustified in their actions is often futile.
Reflect on your divorce proceedings. Did they adequately address any past abuse? If your ex-spouse perceives the court as an enabler, this is a red flag. You’re placed in the difficult position of protecting yourself and your child, while preventing your ex-spouse from overstepping boundaries.
Filing an enforcement suit is a proactive measure to curb such behavior. While this involves hiring an attorney and investing time and resources, it’s a necessary step for safeguarding your rights. Document specific order violations and seek appropriate remedies through the court. Remember, enforcement cases require specific legal language, so consulting an attorney is advisable.
This revised version is more concise, focusing on the key points and advice, and is structured with a clear heading for better readability.
Questions on divorce and domestic violence? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC
Thank you for your time in reading our series of blog posts that dealt with domestic violence and divorce. No divorce is easy, especially one that involves family violence. These types of cases require special attention and knowledge of how the law can help and protect you and your family. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, have the experience you need to proceed with a case like this.
To learn more about divorce in Texas, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC. We offer free of charge consultations with one of our licensed family law attorneys six days a week. We can answer your questions and discuss the services we can provide to you as a client of ours.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.