Being a divorce attorney has given me a front-row seat to people behaving badly, sometimes in a mercenary manner. I am not suggesting that anyone wanting to marry their ex-spouse again after a divorce has an ulterior motive or is trying to pull one over on their ex. However, depending on the facts involved in your situation, I would suggest it may be prudent to slow things down, think twice about the remarriage, and to consult with a family law attorney first.
Another thing to consider is that the person you are about to remarry is the same person. A high school teacher of mine told me two things that stuck with me to this day. Those things are:
- “People do not change. They just become more of who they already are.”
- “You can not change the crazy behavior of other people. You can only change your own crazy behavior.”
For the most part, I have found those statements to be true. If you go into a relationship hoping someone is going to change, you are probably going to be disappointed. If you hang in there hoping their behavior which is driving you crazy is going change, you will be disappointed. What you do have control over is yourself and what you do.
Marrying an Abuser for the Second Time
Our firm helped to divorce a woman from a man who was physically abusive to her and her child. This was not the first time she had divorced this man, and the man had not suddenly changed and become abusive.
This woman had already divorced him once before for being abusive. During her first divorce, she had received:
Somehow, this man had convinced her he’d changed and convinced her to move back in with him and to remarry him.
The Man Had Not Changed
Protective orders are good for two years. This man was smart and waited two years before filing for divorce himself. The man was able to hold things together long enough for the protective order to run out before he let himself go again and started abusing this woman physically.
CPS took the side of the wife’s abuser.
The man had been planning this for a while and had called CPS on her for abuse of their child. CPS did not know their history and convinced her to sign a safety plan where her abuser would have the child.
The Wife Filed Another Protective Order and Struck Out
The wife tried to get another protective order against her husband. Unfortunately for her, the judge did not give her one. The judge did not like the fact that the wife had married her abuser a second time. The judge also did not like that the wife had a CPS case pending against her.
Divorce for the Second Time – Wife had Lost Her Position of Strength
Although the wife had won sole custody in her first case, she had to fight that battle for a second time all over again. This is because when she remarried her husband, all prior custody orders and child support orders were terminated.
Standard Language in Many Divorce Decrees - Termination of Orders
The language terminating orders regarding the child is standard in many child custody orders. It generally resembles the following:
“The provisions of this decree relating to conservatorship, possession, or access terminate on the remarriage of HUSBAND to WIFE unless a nonparent or agency has been appointed a conservator of the children under chapter 153 of the Texas Family Code.”
This meant she was starting all over again. Had her husband not remarried her and had tried to gain custody of their child through a modification of the court order, he would have been fighting an uphill battle that he would most likely lose.
However, as a result of his remarriage to her, he was no longer coming from behind. There was not a protective order in place against him, and he did not have to deal with the prior order that gave the woman sole custody of the child.
In fact, with CPS investigating her for child abuse, he was walking into court slightly ahead. The case had many twists and turns and a happy ending.
An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure
However, the woman could have avoided all the problems had she not remarried this man. Another thought is to ask your attorney about removing that standard provision in a child custody order.
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Other Articles you may be interested in:
- The Dirty Trick of Stripping the House During a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Using the Same Divorce Lawyer
- The Dirty Trick of the Common Law Marriage
- The Dirty Trick of Getting Your Spouse to Leave the Marital Home
- The Dirty Trick of Fake Emails and Electronic Evidence
- The Dirty Trick of the Unenforceable Visitation Order
- Dirty Divorce Trick - Turning into a Temporary “Helicopter” Parent
- The Dirty Trick of Spousal Spying in a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Embarrassing your Spouse During a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Damaging, Destroying, or Selling Marital Assets in Texas
- The Dirty Trick of Filing for Divorce in Another City
- The Dirty Trick of Moving Out of State with the Kids
- The Dirty Trick of Hiding Assets During Your Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Wasting Marital Assets or Going on a Spending Spree During Your Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Engaging in Spousal Starving During a Texas Divorce
Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County