I wish I could tell you when this pandemic what's going to come to an end. Not only do I wish that for the sake of your family but for the sake of my family as well. The fact is we're all anxiously awaiting an end to the time that we will need to be concerned with the health and safety of our family and with the ability of our family to be mobile and move about our community. I think we all took for granted to a certain extent just how easy it was to be able to get up and go to work, to a place of recreation or a house of worship without giving it a second thought. Now we've all come to realize that doing these things can have consequences in the right scenario.
Unfortunately, we find ourselves in that kind of scenario right now. The pandemic is forced us to make changes in our daily lives as we come face to face with the challenges posed by this pandemic. I am not here to make a guess as to how long these changes are going to need to be a part of our lives, but I am here to give perspective on how you and your family can meet the challenges as seen inexperienced by most everyone in our community. We have all seen the advertisements on TV about how we're all in this together and how even though we are separated we are more connected in these times than we may believe. While in some levels this may be true, I think that for the most part the individual circumstances of our families places all in unique circumstances.
For instance, depending on your financial situation and wake of the pandemic I could probably tell you how stressful your home environment is. Many people saw their financial lives thrown into disarray due to the coronavirus shutdowns. While the economy is slowly but surely opening up after the initial months of closures many people saw their jobs eliminated , their work hours reduced or their position furloughed until further notice it is a scary position to be in for your job to be illuminated and for you to have very little if nothing saved in reserve.
Compare those circumstances with the person whose employment is more stable and who has money saved in the bank. if you are this person then you are less likely to be concerned over finances and more capable of thinking into the future how your employment and financial prospects may change overtime as the pandemic dissipates, worsens or goes away altogether. I think that there is more room for optimism the more of a solid footing that you and your family find yourselves in when it comes to this pandemic.
The other key attribute that I believe he must look at as far as your prognosis in the wake of this pandemic is the strength and stability of your family. Again, the stronger and more stable your household is the more likely you all will be able to weather the storms that come along due to this pandemic. If your marriage was on the rocks and you and your spouse were not willing to communicate with each other at the beginning of this process it is unlikely that the pandemic has brought you all closer together.
This may be contrary to what you believe, but I don't think these times are designed to bring people to better understanding of one another if there were already problems to begin with. The stress associated with the pandemic does not lend itself towards reasonable and rational discussion. I generally am of the opinion that this pandemic is a time to be overcome and not a time that you will see much in the way of progress being made in your relationship. While it is possible for your marriage to strengthen during this time if it were strong to begin with, it is more of a challenge for those of you who came into the pandemic with a marriage that was faltering.
This is what I would like to discuss in today's blog post. I have 4 pieces of information that may be valuable for you and your family to keep in mind as far as keeping your family intact despite the challenges brought about by the coronavirus. Your family may benefit from legal representation if you find yourselves involved in a family law matter related to the pandemic. If so, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today . We stand ready to assist you and your family and whatever circumstances you all find yourselves in related to Texas family law.
Choose your words carefully and show patience with one another
if you combine the stresses brought about by the pandemic with the likelihood that you and your spouse have been spending more time together then in recent years, you have a potentially combustible situation on your hands. The nice part about having a routine is that you and your spouse are able to give one another more space when you have activities in work responsibilities to attend to. If you are now working from home and have fewer outlets for diversion, then you are likely spending more and more time with your spouse.
On the outside this may seem like a good thing. More time with your spouse could theoretically mean more time for you all to work on the problems that have been a part of your marriage for months or even years. Sometimes we is married people tend to fall into the trap of routine and thinking that things are OK when they really are not. We can distract ourselves with other things rather than dealing with the realities of our marriage. The pandemic may have caused you and your family to realize that there are more issues in your marital relationship than you would have previously believed.
You would thus be in a position where you can either act to improve the quality of your marriage or suffer the consequences of a marriage that has significant fault lines within it. You can have all the good intentions in the world when it comes to helping your marriage but if you do not know how to act decisively to improve the quality of your relationship it is unlikely that you would be able to do so. While you likely have many strengths in your life being a great communicator with your spouse may not be one. how can you overcome the obstacles with communication in order to strengthen your marriage during this pandemic?
I would recommend that you show a great deal of patience and choose your words carefully when it comes to communicating with your spouse. Keep in mind that we're all on edge in various areas of our lives due to this pandemic. Many of us watch the news with great attention and feel a mounting degree of pressure by the day as the media informs us of the various happenings in our community and in the nation as a whole. We can sometimes transfer these concerns and fears into our marriage.
As a result, you may not be able to communicate with your spouse the same way now as you would have three or four months ago. You need to be able to develop an effective way of communicating with your spouse despite these challenges. I find that choosing carefully the things that I say to my spouse is important in this regard. I am not telling you to be dishonest with your spouse or to hide things from him or her. What I am saying is that you need to be patient with the things that you say and be understanding of the things he or she says to you.
This probably sounds a whole lot like be the bigger person. If your spouse says something to you that you could take the wrong way, I would recommend thinking about the statement made to you and choosing to take the High Road instead. Remember that we are all responsible for the things that we say but we are not always as consider it as we should be of the feelings of others. Work with your spouse on how to better communicate with one another period in the meantime, while you are working on this together, be patient and extend grace to the other person when communicating with him or her.
Busy yourselves with one another and not with the news
at the beginning of this pandemic I found myself checking the news and other media outlets for as many updates as I could find regarding the virus. It was curiosity and my own innate desire to try to control my circumstances that led me to doing this. Quickly, however, I found that the virus was more in control the process than I was. In a way this was comforting for me in that I knew I didn't have to constantly keep track of the goings out of the virus beyond doing what I had to do to keep my family safe on a basic level. Once you can commit you and your spouse too performing basic hygiene and following the same sort of safety guidelines we always follow when interacting with others in public your responsibility to the world at large pretty much comes to an end.
At that point your responsibility to your family picks up. Why not take this time to engage more with your family than you have ever? Yes, we are in the middle of summer. Yes, it is hot as can be outside. However, your local pool, parks and other places of outdoor recreation are still likely to be open. Take the time to engage in those outlets for recreation as much as possible. Otherwise, there are plenty of ways that you can engage with your family at home on a consistent and relatively inexpensive basis. Do not let the pandemic force you into a situation where you are more stressed than you have to be. Focus on your family and perform basic habits to keep yourself safe.
Two tips in one - think about the present and future
Something that my wife and I enjoy doing together is, after putting the kids to bed, we will brainstorm goals for ourselves in the next six months and in the next few years. This is basically an exercise in short-term and long-term goal planning. I would recommend that you and your family do the same right now. No matter what your specific circumstances are you can always take the time to work with one another on creating and achieving goals.
Both short-term and long-term goals are a great place to start. If you can conceive of the end first it becomes easier for you to problem, solve and create the path towards achieving those goals. While these times that we are living in may not provide us with much cause for optimism, I take solace in the old saying that it is always darkest before the dawn. While we have challenges to overcome and immediate problems to address keeping our eyes on both short- and long-term prizes can do a great thing for your family in terms of bringing about cohesion in the family an increasing the lines of communication between husband and wife.
Questions about Texas family law? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today's blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week here in our office, over the phone and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more Texas family law and the services that are office can provide to you and your family.