So, you got divorced during the past few months and are now looking to do a little self-assessment in the wake of the breakup of your marriage. This is not uncommon for people to do, and you should know that you are not alone in performing this kind of exercise soon after a divorce. I think it's normal to do a little bit of self-inventory and figure out where you are emotionally, spiritually, financially, and relationally. The only thing that differs in your situation compared to most people who go through a divorce in Texas is that your divorce occurred during the COVID-19 pandemic.
As a result of the pandemic, there are many things that we don't know about our future. I don't know if you like me, but if you are, you do your best to keep up with the news, or as much as you can tolerate, to stay abreast of the developments with the pandemic. It seems like the experts are changing their minds pretty frequently about how long the pandemic will last and what impacts it may have on our society in the future. It is safe to say that nobody knows how long the pandemic will stretch in how particular areas another country will bounce back.
In conjunction with the divorce, not only have you ended a marriage relationship, but you have eliminated a great deal of the stability and consistency that she had had in your life previously. Going through the effects of a pandemic without your support system in place only adds to the stresses of this time. Not only have you devoted a great deal of time towards your divorce, but other areas of your life may have begun to suffer as well. The social outlets we as human beings have already been curtailed due to the various quarantines shut down orders and state of orders. The fact is your life in your career may be much different now than they were three or four months ago. This is due not only to the divorce but to the COVID-19 pandemic.
What can you do in the wake of your divorce and the face of a pandemic to rebuild your career and your life in hopes of crawling out of this period better off now than you were before? That is the question that I would like to answer today. For as much planning as you did with your attorney during your divorce, many of the critical questions of your post-divorce life, we're likely left to the very end of your case, sorry or not answered at all. That is where I would like our office to be able to step in today to help guide you towards outcomes that are more desirable for you and your family as far as post-divorce life and career.
Rebuilding and strengthening your life from a relational perspective
A piece of advice that the attorneys with our law office give to clients with regularity is not to neglect the people in your life; it offered you strength and support because you are going through a divorce. The divorce is not an excuse to bury your head in the sand in other areas of your life. Hopefully, you were able to rely upon these supported figures to give you strength and confidence when you may have been lacking in both of those categories. If you did not, I'm willing to bet that your divorce was more difficult because you're not leaning on these people at least a little bit.
Whatever reason you had for not seeking contact with your support system during the divorce, one of the first steps I believe we need to take after your divorce ends mystery establish ties with these people in a firm your commitment to the relationships you have with them. Taking some time out of your day to do something nice for another person, especially someone you care about, will benefit that other person and may benefit you even more. You may be surprised to learn that the people in your life are going through tough times associated with the pandemic. In this way, you can offer one another support mutually during challenging times in your lives.
Even if you do not necessarily feel like talking to another person about your problems, I think it is a good idea to be around other people right now. The irony is that being around other people right now is not recommended by our government leaders. All you need to do is turn on the TV to see press conferences from government officials and commercials from businesses telling us that they are separate from one another, maybe for the best. While I am not going to outright disagree with these folks, I think it will be a mistake for you to completely neglect the relationships in your life because of the pandemic.
This means that you may need to get creative as far as spending time with other people. Visiting in small groups or just one-on-one with family and friends would appear to be perfectly fine. I'm not aware of any data or studies that show that one-on-one interactions in your homes lead to an increased rate of the virus. Furthermore, depending on your specific circumstances, the harm you may suffer from not connecting with people right now may outweigh any risk that the virus poses to you.
Take the time to commit yourself towards relationship building and rebuilding right now. When it comes to making time for others, I constantly think back to what a law school professor told a group of students at the beginning of my first year of law school. The professor stated that in life, we make the time for the things that are most important to us. He was talking more about if school is essential that we would make time for school. Or, if socializing was more critical, we would make time for that. I would offer you the same perspective regarding your post-divorce relationships.
If you need to build a support system after your divorce, but you may not have paid close enough attention during the divorce, then I think you need to commit time to it. Seeing as how we're all spending more time at home than ever before, I think it is safe to say, but you will have a more significant opportunity to do so right now. Do not expect others to seek you out after your divorce to help you rebuild these relationships that were lost. You need to take the first step towards rebuilding relationships that have been harmed due to your attention being diverted towards your divorce.
At some point, this pandemic will come to an end. I don't know when that will be, and you don't know when that will be, and even the experts don't know when that will be. I can tell you that once the pandemic comes to an end, we will all have an opportunity to reflect on the time of the pandemic and how we spent that time. I can promise you that you will not want to look back on this time as one that you frittered away, feeling bad for yourself and neglecting your emotional and relational future. I recommend focusing on those around you both to benefit those people and yourself as you emerge from your post-divorce life during this pandemic.
Rebuilding your career during a pandemic and after your divorce.
Early on during this pandemic, when the shutdowns were in full effect, we heard many people offer opinions regarding COVID-19 and the economy. These people's general impression was that the cure related to flattening the curve was worse than the disease itself. Again, I am not here to offer opinions on economics or your health. There are plenty of other resources you can go to to find out information about these two important subjects. What I can offer is that my perspective is that it is likely your career and personal financial situation has changed either due to the virus, the government shutdowns, or related your divorce
If your career has taken a hit during this pandemic or you have not yet started a career for yourself, then pay attention to what we're about to talk about. The thing about divorce and personal finances is that we all find ourselves in varying states of emotional and financial wellness. Some of us are doing well financially. These folks have money in the bank, have started saving for retirement, you have a career with stability.
Others may have a career but have little economic stability regarding money saved and retirement plan. Some of us have nothing in the way of financial stability right now. These folks may have lost their jobs due to the shutdown or had their work-life changed dramatically in response to the virus. Finally, many people who go through divorce have never had an opportunity to build a career or even an income separate from their spouse. These folks could have been a stay at home parents or been more domestically minded during their marriage.
No matter what state you find yourself in as far as your finances are concerned, you can improve yourself in this regard after your divorce. This is true even though we are going through a pandemic. I think an essential thing to keep in mind is that while some areas of our economy are suffering a great deal, others are doing quite well. These areas of the economy may not be glamorous or offer you a great deal of long-term stability but can be areas where you can gain experience or simply employment while trying to find solid footing after your divorce.
I imagine that many of you reading this blog post have recently completed a divorce used up a fair amount of your savings to pay for the divorce and your attorney. Some of you may have taken out loans or used a credit card to pay for an attorney. I tell clients that paying for an attorney in your divorce is a short-term investment for a potential long-term gain. While I typically recommend that people have an attorney, Ted buys them in a divorce; it does not take away from the short-term financial difficulties at hiring an attorney, and proceeding with the divorce can cause you to encounter.
In the short term, after your divorce, you may want to look to work as much as your health will allow in the areas of the economy that are hiring right now. The retail sector is doing its best to learn how to adjust to changing consumer demands related to the virus. As a result, new positions in new companies have developed that allow consumers to remain at home well stores can still sell products that we all need daily. Companies like this need workers to fill these roles. Even if the work is not overly appealing to you, it can offer you a short-term means to gain extra income if you need to rebuild your savings or for any other reason.
As far as your career is concerned, if you are looking to rebuild your career or start a job, you can look to any deals offered by trade schools, community colleges, and even four-year universities in our area. Many college campuses are closed down currently, with plans only to open up in the fall. As a result, summer courses in even vocational schools for offering classes at a reduced rate online. Working during the day to rebuild your savings and taking courses at a discount at night to build your long-term career sounds like a path that many of you may be interested in.
Questions about rebuilding your career and life after a COVID-19 divorce? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys and staff with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan take great pride in offering guidance to our clients concerning their divorce and their post-divorce lives. If you have any questions about the content in today's blog post, please do not hesitate to contact our office. We offer free consultations with licensed family law attorneys in person, over the phone, and via video.