Book an appointment using SetMore

What if I'm afraid of my spouse?

If you believe that you need to get a divorce as the result of having been abused by your spouse then you may be especially concerned with how to do so safely. When it comes to ending your marriage, you may believe that this is easier said than done considering the fear you may have towards your spouse. To be able to overcome this fear and move on with your life is what your objective must be moving forward. If you do not have a plan on how to do so then it will be difficult to gain the confidence necessary.

Family violence and domestic violence are the same things. Domestic and family violence can be perpetrated against both adults and children. Specifically, family violence can occur between members of a family or household or people that you are in a dating relationship or are married to. the law says that family and family violence means members of the same family, spouses or former spouses, parents of the same child, or foster parents and foster children.

Family violence can take on many forms and is not just physical abuse like hitting or kicking another person. making a threat towards another person such as telling them that you are going to harm them, or their child is an example of family violence. Following that person from the workplace to their home, otherwise known as stalking, is also a type of family violence. Next, both physical and sexual abuse are types of family violence. using a controlled substance in a way that causes injury to a child, such as burning a child with a marijuana joint, is family violence. Going further and encouraging a child to use drugs is likewise considered to be family violence. 

What are some practical steps that you can take if you are afraid for the safety of yourself and your children? 

you've made the decision to go ahead and get a divorce, but you are still concerned about the impacts for your family moving forward then you should pay attention to some of these steps that you can take to better protect yourself and your family moving forward. If there has been violence in your life where you feel that you or your kids are not safe then you should get help right away. Any of the following resources can be helpful to you and your family during this time of your lives.

The national domestic violence 24-hour hotline can be reached at 800-799-SAFE. a National Crime victims phone number is 888-343-4414. the Texas advocacy project can be reached at 800-374-HOPE. legal aid for survivors of sexual assault can be obtained by calling 844-303-7233. finally, if you find yourself in an emergency then you should certainly have local emergency numbers available. For instance, 911 should be called in emergencies as well as by your local sheriff or constable. Sometimes you don't have an opportunity to think about what you need to do in the event of an emergency. Therefore, you should have a plan in place and be prepared to act quickly if you or your child are being victimized. 

Unfortunately, family violence can get worse as you start the divorce process. Abusive spouses in partners engage in that kind of behavior to exert control over you and your children. When you take it upon yourself to remove yourself from a harmful situation and begin the divorce process that means your spouse is losing much of their control over you. As a result, the family violence that you have been suffering through could get worse at the start of your case. You may not have a plan in place yet to protect yourself while you are working on the details of how to file your divorce case. For instance, have you thought about where you and your kids are going to live if you think your house is no longer safe? 

For this reason, I would recommend thinking hard about your next steps in the process you will be as begun to consider a divorce case. Of course, there are going to be things that you do not anticipate happening within the case as far as Roblox to success and other issues that you may encounter. If life was completely predictable you wouldn't find yourself in this situation. However, sometimes things happen in life that we cannot easily predict. As a result, you should begin to think hard about what you want to do and how you want to plan out your divorce case. Here are some ways for you to begin to think about those steps.

Planning out a divorce when safety is a concern

if logistics and planning are not something that you are good at thinking about then I would consider contacting one of the organizations that we just finished discussing in the previous section of today's blog post. These are organizations that are very good at keeping people safe, helping them develop a plan, and answering questions period when you are planning for divorce you should not assume that everything will fall into place for you perfectly. Rather, you should assume that there will be some problems that you have to work your way through. For that reason, I would recommend that you contact one of these organizations that will not charge you any money and can prepare you for what may be coming up.

Next, I would ensure that you have emergency telephone numbers programmed into your cell phone. I realize that dialing 911 may not seem like much of a chore but when you are in a dangerous situation it can be stressful to have to dial additional phone numbers or digits. Simply having the phone number programmed into your phone can save you seconds when those seconds may matter a great deal. If you do not want to have a phone number saved as 911 or constable, you can create a fake name for that person in your phone in case your spouse searches through your phone. That way you can immediately go to that person's profile and press call and emergency personnel can be on their way. 

It may also make sense for you and your family for you too begin to build a relationship with local police, constables, or sheriff's deputies. Depending upon where you live your jurisdiction may be covered by a local Police Department or sheriff's office. It's not as if these folks can do much to protect you before any violence or threats of violence occurs but you can begin to put yourself on their radar if something were to happen to you in the future. Reaching out and introducing yourself can make a big deal especially if you live in a small community where everyone knows everyone. Local law enforcement can also give you information and resources about who you can reach out to in the community to keep yourself safe. Do not underestimate the importance of these types of steps to keep you and your family safe.

One of the resources that you may be able to learn more about there are battered women shelters or other places where victims of domestic violence can stay for short periods while you attempt to find more permanent housing. If you know that your spouse is violent and is going to react violently to your filing for divorce then you should not be surprised if he or she is displeased, to say the least when you file your divorce case. It would not be wise to file for divorce without having a plan for what to do next when it comes to a living situation. Find out where you can live for a short period and if any resources are available to you in your area.

Battered women and domestic violence shelters are typically available for limited periods for women and children who have been the victims of domestic violence. These are not hotels or anything close to it. You will likely be given very basic accommodations and perhaps food during the day while you attempt to find a more permanent and suitable housing arrangement for you and your family. However, the location is safe, and you can come and go as you please. However, I would not recommend driving up to one of these places on the day you file for divorce. Rather, I would recommend doing some due diligence and reaching out to these places at the beginning of the divorce process.

You should also not be ashamed or embarrassed to reach out to family or friends who may be able to assist you in your family in terms of providing you with a safe place to stay due to your filing for a divorce. I know many people are hesitant to admit that they need help and to reach out to people who may be able to assist them in their community. However, it is undoubtedly more comfortable for you and your family to stay with a friend or relative rather than at a sheltered period these shelters offer a great benefit for people who have no other options but if you can reach out to family or friends to stay with them that can both create a more hospitable situation for you and your family and also opened up opportunities to other people who would need to be able to take advantage of a place like a battered women shelter.

Above all else, I hope that discussing this subject matter gives you two thoughts. The first thought should be that you do need to plan for something like filing for a divorce when your safety is at issue. Unfortunately, you cannot assume you will be kept safe because of your divorce but if that is your reality you need to plan accordingly. Developing a plan is better for you and better for your children. You can even reach out to our law office and our attorneys will give your perspective and do our best to provide you with information based on your current circumstances. 

The other important thing to keep in mind is that there are options for you when it comes to your divorce. You should not assume that there is only one way to get a divorce or that only certain kinds of people can get divorced successfully. Rather, everyone has options when it comes to getting a divorce. No two divorces look exactly alike, and you and your family can work together to both keep you safe and two help you achieve whatever goals you have in the context of a divorce. It is not easy to go through a divorce but if you reach out to your circle of trust these folks are here to help you and will assist you if you ask. The worst thing you could do is to struggle with stress and anxiety surrounding divorce and not have your social circle available to assist you during this time rather, I recommend that you reach out to your family and friends and see if they have resources or ideas that can help keep you safe during this time. If you are worried about how they will perceive you just think about how in a couple of years or your family may need you for advice and you can repay the favor that they gave to you earlier when you went through something similar in your own life. 

How can family violence impact your divorce?

As we just finished talking about every divorce is created differently. The family violence involved in your case may be different and may impact your case differently than for another person who is also going through a divorce with family violence involved. However, there are some general thoughts that I can share on family violence and how this sort of fact can impact the divorce that you are going through. However, if you want specific advice and perspective on divorce and how yours may be impacted by family violence you should certainly reach out to one of our experienced family law attorneys for a free of charge consultation. 

Family violence is extremely serious. If you have been the victim of family violence, or your children have been the victim of family violence you should talk to an attorney as soon as possible. The reason is that if you fail to act after having been victimized you may lose certain rights in certain factors that may not go in your favor as they should have had you move forward with your case quickly and efficiently.

There is a standard 60 day waiting. To get a divorce in Texas. This begins to elapse for the time that your divorce is filed. That 60 days. Is intended to help you and your spouse consider whether you want to get divorced. However, if family violence is an issue in your case, then that 60-day waiting period is waived. This means that a family court judge can grant your divorce sooner than 60 days after you file. This can be a great advantage for you and your family, and it can go a long way towards keeping you safe and helping you move on to the next stage of your life.

There is a possibility that you may also be eligible for a temporary restraining order or another emergency type protection if simply violence has occurred. Other types of emergency orders that could protect you are emergency protective orders, temporary restraining orders, and basic injunctions that are included in standing orders in many Texas counties once you file for divorce. Being able to put your case before a family court judge and allow that judge to make orders to help keep you and your children safe is important. For example, it is standard in a Texas divorce for there to be a prohibition against your spouse coming to your workplace. The same goes for allowing your spouse to go to the children's school. However, these protections cannot go into place until you seek a protective order or a divorce.

Finally, family violence is very important when it comes to child custody considerations. Parents are charged with making decisions with the best interests of their children in mind. It is very difficult to argue that you have the best interests of your children in mind when you are abusive towards your spouse. For that reason, if your spouse has been abusing you then you should pursue a case quickly given the potential impacts that it can have on your children and custody determinations. keeping your children safe is of the utmost importance and you can do so effectively after filing for divorce.

Questions about the material contained in today's blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

If you have any questions about the material contained in today's blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultation six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world in Texas family law as well as about how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or a child custody case.

Categories

Sign Up Here to Download Our eBook!

Fill out the form below 
  • Please enter your first name.
  • Please enter your last name.
  • Please enter your phone number.
    This isn't a valid phone number.
  • Please enter your email address.
    This isn't a valid email address.
  • Please make a selection.
  • Please enter a message.