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Contemplating Divorce

If you are thinking about divorce, you have come to the right place to start your journey towards gaining more knowledge about what divorce is, what makes a Texas divorce unique, and what you need to know ultimately about the process before beginning. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are honored to serve clients just like you each day of the week. Whether yours is a simple divorce or one that is more complicated, we take nothing for granted when it comes to the preparation and the work that we put in for each of our clients. This blog post is a great place for those of you who are just starting on your divorce journey to learn more about divorce. By the same token, if you are close to filing for divorce our blog is a terrific resource if you are interested in learning more about hiring an attorney and getting your case off the ground. 

It is common to think that you need a divorce one day and then pulls back from that idea the next. There is nothing wrong with being contemplative about divorce and wondering if it is the best decision for you. You may run through several emotions before you ultimately decide on whether you should move forward with the divorce. There are so many moving pieces in play that balancing all those competing interests can be a real challenge. Fortunately, if you can take the divorce component by component, piece by piece you can arrive at a much more well-thought-out conclusion and feel confident that you are making the best decision for yourself and for your family moving forward. You may always have a nagging doubt about the divorce process. After all, it is not every day that you are asked to decide about whether to separate from your life partner. However, if you are intentional about your decision then you achieve peace of mind however the divorce turns out. 

The key for you to start thinking about is what can you do to feel more confident and at ease when it comes to deciding about divorce. Feeling halfway between married and divorced is no place to be. A person is never running in neutral. You are either moving forward in a relationship or regressing. While you may feel in the moment that you and your spouse are going through the motions and doing "ok" the reality of the situation is that you and your spouse are either actively working at improving the relationship or are passively (or sometimes actively if we are being honest) degrading the relationship. There is no in-between. Understanding this and then moving towards one end of that spectrum or the other is the key to this whole discussion. Feeling confident that you made the right decision comes second after you have expended enough energy to thinking critically about the move. 

In today's blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to discuss a handful of considerations that may be relevant to you and your potential divorce. Again, divorce is a unique endeavor that will not look the same for you as it did for your neighborhood. As a result, the best we can hope for in this setting is for us to list out some questions or considerations and then you can take those questions and move forward to a place where you are comfortable with your decision one way or another. Or you may find that your spouse files for divorce first and makes that decision for you. 

If you have any questions regarding today's blog post or anything else on our website, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about how your family's circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case. 

Learn as much as you can about divorce

There is no question that if you are feeling like divorce is on the table as a viable option you are not comfortable or happy in your marriage. While you may not be angry or full of rage when it comes to your spouse, divorce is something serious, so to consider filing for divorce you must be going through some difficult emotions and considerations right now. With that said, one of the most important aspects of this process is to be able to sort through those emotions while you are able and to educate yourself on the process and the concerns that you have regarding your marriage. 

No matter if you and your spouse have been married for 10 years or 10 months, it is possible to have bumps in the road. Sharing a space with another person is difficult enough as it is. Take competing interests and the normal stresses of life and you have a potentially combustible situation if you do not take the time to learn about how you are feeling and whether or not those feelings justify filing for divorce. What could just be a bump in the road may be just that. However, if you are going through some serious marriage problems then you would stand to benefit from figuring out how to weigh those concerns against the reality that is divorce. This is where you can go from merely contemplating divorce as a result of frustration in your marriage to performing a real-life pros/cons list to determine whether divorce is a viable option for you. 

As I mentioned earlier, this blog for the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is a great place to focus your attention when it comes to collecting information at the initial stage of your inquiry about divorce. We provide blog posts every day of the week, 365 days a year so that you can have content to fall back on if you have questions about the world of Texas family law. We know that you have a lot of questions and that the internet, friends, and family can provide you with a lot of answers. However, we also know that too much information can be just as bad as too little information. The internet can provide you with a lot of information, much of it either untrue or not relevant to what you are going through in your personal life. 

What the Law Office of Bryan Fagan can provide you with

The attorneys and staff at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan can provide you with something different than an internet article on some random issue in Texas family law. Before we start to discuss some issues that you can and should consider when thinking about divorce, I am going to talk with you about three areas that our office can help you with as you begin or continue the search for divorce answers that are relevant to you and your family. 

First, our blog posts are written with years of collective experience between our attorneys. We write about the subject matter that we have encountered for years in our practice. That means that you can trust that the information we provide you with in this setting is going to be accurate, and trustworthy but also relevant to your life. While we may not be able to know exactly what is going on in your life currently, we know what has mattered to other people who have gone through a divorce. 

Next, we have a team of attorneys who can sit down with you in a one-on-one consultation and provide you with some perspective based on the specific circumstances that you are facing. Again, talking to your friends about their experiences in a divorce can be helpful to an extent but it is not going to provide you with as much guidance as you would receive from an attorney. Our office will provide you with information that you can use to make decisions for yourself. Whether you have questions about child support, community property division, or simply whether you need to hire an attorney, we are here to serve you and your family. 

Finally, if you do decide to move forward with a divorce, our attorneys are here to help you get your case off the ground quickly. We are not going to sit idly by, collect a retainer fee and do nothing. We will work to get your case filed within one day and then serve your spouse with notice of the divorce immediately thereafter. We know that this experience is stressful enough as it is- we don't want to add to that stress level by delaying its start. You can get your case off the ground by working with our attorneys and staff. In a consultation, we will provide you with a sample contract, so you know what you are signing up for. Our reviews from past clients can be found all over the internet. Take some time and review what others have said about our office. We are proud to call Houston and southeast Texas home and would be honored to serve you and your family. 

Save money where you can

Setting aside some cash for a rainy day is never a bad thing. The tricky part is that in a divorce scenario you may not know when you can stop contributing to a jointly held back account and instead begin to make contributions to your account. Any money that you insert into a jointly held account could be spent by your spouse. However, withholding funds that he or she needs to live daily can put you in some hot water as well. It is a balancing act. However, there are some rules of thumb that you can put into practice in your divorce planning that may pay dividends for you later on. 

All optional and discretionary spending should be curtailed as you approach your divorce. This means that if you were planning to make any improvements on the home, buy a new car or pay off debt then you should hold off on doing so until after the divorce. There is no telling what direction your divorce could go in so do not set about the course of spending a lot of money on items that may not even be “yours” in just a few short months. Re-painting the house or building a new pergola for the backyard may have been a goal for 2022 but it should not get in the way of paying for a divorce. 

As a result of the divorce, your household budget is going to get pinched. You are going to have increased costs associated with the divorce itself including attorney's fees, court costs, child support, and time away from work but you are also going to see your household budget eventually get cut down due to your spouse's income no longer counting towards what your household brings in. Getting hit from all sides in this means that you need to fine-tune your budget. Anyone who has ever created a household budget can tell you that there are two sides to the equation: the income and the "out-go," Here is how you attack both sides of the household budget issue. 

First, you can work on your income. Working a part-time job to increase your income during the divorce is not a bad idea. Talk with your attorney about the impact that doing so may have on child support calculations, but if you can work an additional shift at work or take on added jobs then you may be able to increase your income sufficient to not miss a beat with meeting your other household obligations during a divorce. It would be nice to not have to consider taking out a loan or going further into debt to finance a divorce.

Next, you can start to reduce costs around your home during the divorce. If you are moving out of your home and need to rent a place to live you should pick the cheapest place possible that is still safe enough to bring your kids over and functional enough for you. Renting is like camping- it probably is not permanent for you. Rather, you should consider renting to be a temporary thing for you. Do not talk yourself into "needing" a certain kind of home to live in during the divorce and immediately afterward. Also- cook for yourself during the divorce. Even if you are tired as can be as you go through your divorce that does not give you the leeway that you need to eat out for every meal. Spending money on food out to eat most days of the week can eat into your budget, as well. Rather, save your money and your calories by cooking at home. 

Goal setting

Finally, you should start to think about goals and what you want to accomplish in your divorce. What are the most important things in your life? You can start there even if you don't know much about divorce at this point. For example, do not confuse the need to create goals with the need to be able to accomplish those goals. We know that the first step in accomplishing a goal is setting a goal. An attorney is a great resource for learning about realistic goals for your case. Developing a firm base of knowledge for the divorce is also critical when it comes to being as prepared as you can be for the case and your life after the divorce. 

Do not take for granted how important it is to have a goal or set of goals for your case. You can wander into a divorce but is downright impossible for you to wander out of one with any reasonable goals having been accomplished. Do not consider “getting out of the divorce alive” as a reasonable goal to have for your case. Rather, you should think critically about what is in your best interests and that of your children. Refining your goals as your case progresses will probably be necessary and that’s ok. Having the spirit of goal setting at the outset of your case makes it easier to think in terms of accomplishing something tangible for the divorce. At the same time, you can use these goal-setting sessions to understand what is most important in your case and to build a strong relationship with your attorney. These are qualities that will serve you well no matter what direction your divorce ultimately takes. 

Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

If you have any questions about the material contained in today's blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about how your family's circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case. 

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