If you have children, then you know how important boundaries are when it comes to evaluating the parenting of other people. All of us have had an opportunity to share our thoughts on how another parent is looking after their kids. Rarely are those comments welcomed by the other person, however. For that reason, we tend to hold back on our thoughts. With good reason- many of the people we are tempted to share our thoughts with are friends or family. Those are the last people we would like to say something that could be interpreted wrongly.
One of the parenting trends that has seemingly taken off in recent years is “free range” parenting. The idea behind free-range parenting is that children are too closely monitored by their parents in today’s world. As a result, we have children who are ill-equipped to become adults. Call them “microwave” parents or “helicopter” parents. Whatever your name for these types of parents, know that they are the opposite of the free-range parent we will be discussing today.
In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to discuss free-range parenting. Specifically, parenting that allows the child to be exposed to possible risks and dangers. Whatever your position on this type of parenting is, stay tuned to learn how free-range parenting impacts children- both positively and negatively.
What is free-range parenting?
Before we go any further, let’s all get on the same page as far as what free-range parenting is. When we reference free-range parenting in today’s blog, we are talking about a philosophy of parenting wherein you and your co-parent allow your child greater independence in their life. Instead of monitoring your child’s behavior and their surroundings you instead choose to allow your child more autonomy.
The idea of free-range parenting is to promote the independence of your child through trust. You trust that your child is going to be able to take care of themselves. As such, you do not follow him or her to the park when he wants to play with his friends. Likewise, when your daughter goes to work you do not turn on the makeshift tracking device on her cell phone to make sure she goes to school rather than someplace else. Through greater trust in your child, you attempt to foster independence in him or her.
An advocate of free-range parenting techniques would tell you that free-range parenting promotes independence in your child. That independence builds confidence in themselves. In truth, free-range parenting has developed as a counter to the parenting trends of today which involve greater observation and more parental involvement. It attempts to strike a sweet spot between overcaution and excessive independence.
A consideration of how free-range parenting appears
Even the sharpest critic of free-range parenting would likely admit that there are advantages to free-range parenting. However, let’s consider for a moment how free-range parenting looks to the uninitiated or inexperienced member of your community. Let’s say that you and your husband adhere to the tenets of free-range parenting. As such, you tend to allow your child greater independence, specifically in his physical movements. You do not walk with your child to the bus stop. Your child frequently plays with friends on the street without you being present.
It is not as if you never observe the habits of your child. You are always aware if he goes to a friend’s house. You watch from the kitchen window as he steps on the school bus. The independence you allow your child is relative to his friends from school and kids on this street. With that said, something to bear in mind is that free-range parenting can appear to be risky parental behavior to someone who does not know the level of supervision you provide. To someone who is only casually observing the situation, free-range parenting can appear to be neglectful parenting.
Look now at free-range parenting from the perspective of a neighbor of yours. The woman across the street who is in her golden years frequently is on the front lawn watering the grass and tending to her garden. She is the type of person who largely keeps to herself but observes everything on the street. This neighbor has anointed herself as supervisor of the street, for better or worse. In this situation, she has observed numerous times when you allow your child to walk to the school bus stop alone. This is as opposed to every other child in the street whose mother or father walks with the child.
A nosy neighbor and child neglect
Normally, the approach in our culture is to not particularly care about the opinions of another adult regarding our behaviors. We tend to value independence in authenticity. In the context of free-range parenting, the opinions of another person can matter in a certain way. The neighbor that we were just talking about, who observes everything from her front lawn, may only have a brief glimpse into the life of you and your child. She sees your child walking alone to the bus stop but does not see you looking from the front window to make sure he gets on the bus.
This incomplete picture of the situation does present challenges for you. In Texas, Child Protective Services allows for and encourages the public to make reports to them regarding alleged acts of abuse or neglect of children. Child Protective Services has a mission to protect vulnerable children. In the mind of your neighbor, your son is made vulnerable by you allowing him to walk and play by himself regularly. The first time she saw your child walk to the bus stop by himself she may have ignored it. However, seeing your child walk to the bus stop multiple times is enough to draw her ire.
Having seen your child walk to the bus stop on a handful of occasions by himself your neighbor decides to take matters into her own hands. She contacts CPS and informs them that she has observed a potential situation involving child neglect. That neglect involves your child walking unaccompanied to the bus stop every day of the week. She also adds to each instance where she observed your child playing by himself or with others on the street without your supervision. Essentially, she is going through her mental Rolodex of every circumstance she can recall where your child was alone on that street. For good measure, she throws in every instance or negative interaction that the two of you have ever had.
What is abuse and neglect in the eyes of CPS?
Just like we defined free-range parenting earlier, we also need to define abuse and neglect. These are terms with legal definitions. Neglect has to do with allowing your child to be in or failing to remove your child from a foreseeably dangerous situation. The situation could have led to physical harm or emotional trauma for your child. Or, it may not have led to any kind of harm but very well could have led to harm. For neglect to have occurred there does not need to be a specific harm that then occurred to your child.
Abuse usually requires that some specific harm have occurred in the life of your child. That abuse could have been physical. Striking your child and injuring him is child abuse. However, there is also emotional and sexual abuse which may find you in violation of the law. CPS relies upon members of the community to be able to identify and report incidents of abuse and neglect. Anonymous reports come into CPS every day which detail allegations of abuse and neglect against children.
From there, CPS investigates and determines the amount of evidence or the allegation made. When it comes to the behavior of CPS after an allegation is made, CPS will work with local caseworkers and supervisors in your area to investigate. The results of that investigation will determine the future involvement of CPS in your life and that of your child. If there is evidence of abuse or neglect CPS will make recommendations to you about how to eliminate safety risks in your life and your child’s. In extreme situations, the agency may even remove your child temporarily.
How to proceed when your neighbor makes an allegation of abuse or neglect
Coming home from work, you see a strange car in front of your house. As you exit your vehicle and walk to the front door you see the strange car has a person inside you’ve never seen before. She exits and introduces herself as an employee of Child Protective Services. As any parent would, immediately your defense mechanisms go up when you hear this. Why would CPS be at your front door? What business could they have with you?
CPS is obligated to tell you the nature of the report that was made and their role in investigating the matter further. CPS must keep the reporter’s identity anonymous. You may be able to determine that it was your neighbor who filed the report, but you would have to make that assessment on your own. The CPS caseworker provides you with information about the agency and their investigations. Then, she attempts to ask key questions about the report that was made. Furthermore, she would like to speak to your husband as well as your child.
All of this is coming at you rather quickly. One day you are living your life normally. The next day, CPS is involved in the affairs of your family. You’ve always considered yourself to be a conscientious and loving parent. The last thing you would ever expect is to have CPS play a role in your life. Where can you go from here? Do you have options when it comes to participating in the investigation of CPS? At this point, it is fair to say that you have many more questions than you do answers.
The importance of an experienced CPS defense attorney
When you are facing challenging circumstances, it is normal to want assistance. None of us live our lives as islands. Rather, we depend upon others to help us. It could be in something small like helping us get a cup of coffee on the way to work. Or, it could be in something big like helping us when CPS comes to our front door. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan helps clients just like you who are facing similar circumstances.
CPS has a plan when it begins a case. They do not go into an investigation guessing what their next move will be. Rather, their entire agency is based on being able to make good decisions that will further their investigation. In a word, CPS is intentional. There are no wasted movements with them. They have a plan, and they stick to it as much as they can. This may be in stark contrast to you. Right now, you may be wondering about where to go from here.
If you are concerned about not having a plan in your CPS case, then start to act. Worrying about the situation with CPS will not improve your position or make it go away. Rather, the one way to better ensure that you can make good decisions for yourself is to have a plan of your own. Be intentional with your actions just as CPS is intentional with theirs. The best way to do this is to work with an experienced family law attorney. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan to speak to one of our attorneys about the CPS case process.
Do you have to participate in the CPS investigation?
So, CPS walks up to your front door and asks to speak to you about an allegation made regarding neglect of your child. Are you under any obligation to speak to her? What about a situation where CPS then asks to enter your home and look around? Do you need to open the door? These are the sorts of scenarios that put you in a position where you need to have a plan in place. Guessing about what to do serves no purpose. Should you participate in the CPS case?
The CPS case proceeds with or without you. Think about the CPS case like a train passing through a train station. Whether you get on the train at the station, or not, it is moving to the next stop. Just like that, CPS is going to conduct their investigation whether you participate. Participation in a CPS case typically looks like being interviewed, providing information about other people in your family, and then allowing CPS to speak to your child. The entire investigation process may be concluded in just a few days.
Ultimately, it is up to you whether to participate in the investigation. In some cases, doing so helps your cause. By participating you can clear up misconceptions. You may have several witnesses who can counter the report made by the anonymous individual who first spoke to CPS. Then again, if you are not prepared to speak to CPS doing so may hurt your child and your case. This is why being prepared and having a plan of action is so critical to your success.
Final thoughts on CPS cases and free-range parenting
There are a thousand different ways to parent your children. Just because you choose a method of parenting that I don’t doesn’t make either one of us a good or bad parent. All it means is that you believe a particular method of parenting is superior. We all have opinions. At the end of the day, different parenting methods can lead to successfully raising kids. If you think that free-range parenting is a better method to employ than any other, then you ought to look into it.
That said, there are consequences for our actions. When you choose to parent with a more ‘hands-off approach,” you may open yourself up to scrutiny from those around you. It may be that free-range parenting tends to allow others to view your parenting methods as more risky. In turn, that perception may put you in a position where those around you are predisposed to contacting CPS.
Whatever you decide to do with your children, do so based on the best interests of your kids. From there, the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is here to help you. Thank you for joining us today on our blog. We look forward to the opportunity to serve you in the future.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
