It’s likely that many of you reading this blog feel your spouse is overly controlling, perhaps more so than typical spouses. Their constant need to dictate your actions, as well as those of your children, might be a major reason why you’re contemplating divorcing a controlling spouse. Ideally, we desire a marriage where we feel the comfort and love of an equal partner—someone who respects our independence and values our thoughts. However, if your marriage doesn’t match this ideal and you’re dealing with a controlling spouse, the thought of divorce may have crossed your mind.
Contemplating divorce because of a controlling husband or wife
The set of circumstances that you encounter in divorcing a spouse with control issues can be unique from other people’s divorces. I have had countless people walk into a consultation with me at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan; PLLC sits down and tells me that their spouse is the most inflexible, critical, and challenging to deal with the person on planet Earth. There’s their way or the highway, I’ve been told time and time again. What’s worse, they will use a situation that is not going the way they want and turn it against you or your children as a means to manipulate and get what they wish somehow some way.
With these considerations in mind, actively planning for your divorce and setting goals for yourself can be essential for managing a divorce from a controlling spouse. Simply knowing that you want to get a divorce is not enough if negotiations during the divorce itself are more demanding and tiresome than many divorces. While the odds are high that your case will settle at some stage rather than proceed to a trial, the course your divorce takes often depends on how much and how well you plan.
Chart a course for your divorce with an attorney
If you do not attempt to plan a course for your divorce to take, your spouse will surely do so for you. Controlling people not only want to control their own lives but want to control yours as well. Divorce is all about change. Change in your relationship status, change for your children, change in where you live, and possibly even change in how you view yourself. How do you want to come out at the end of your divorce? Asking yourself this question can help you problem-solve and create goals that allow you to be stable, content, and productive after you divorce a controlling husband or wife.
First and foremost, speak to an attorney who practices family law and has experience not only in successfully handling divorce cases for clients but also has an opinion or “plan of attack” when it comes to opposing parties that are extremely controlling. Having an advocate by your side who can assist you in managing the big-picture goals of your divorce while helping you maintain your day-to-day sanity is priceless while a divorce is ongoing. There is no complete proof method to preserving your mind during a divorce but having someone available who can help you adjust your plan based on the present circumstances is significant.
Goal planning means more than just wishing something to be true
Whether we are talking about New Year’s Resolutions or goals in your divorce, writing down what you seek to accomplish is a prerequisite to seeing those goals come to fruition. If you tell a friend that your plan for the year is to lose weight, I can tell you that your odds are accomplishing that goal are not that high. The reason for my pessimism is that the goal is not concrete and not written down. Suppose you give yourself some benchmarks to reach weight milestones so that you are more likely to accomplish your goal. By the same token, if you write down those milestones and tape them to your bathroom mirror, you will see the dream every day staring you in the face.
The goals of your divorce should be no different. To ensure you have a plan to counter your controlling spouse, arrange a personal meeting with your attorney before filing your Original Petition for Divorce. Go over with your attorney what you specifically want to accomplish in your divorce. Some requests need to be “pled” for in your Petition to request that sort of relief in a trial possibly. Your attorney will make that call after consulting with you so that any goals you may have can be accounted for.
Prepare for your case before your spouse can prepare theirs
A controlling spouse may want to get a jump on you as much as possible after you file for divorce. If you can, begin collecting any documents or written evidence that may be important to your case. Much of the middle stages of your case will involve negotiation and discussion with the opposing party about settlement offers made to end your divorce case. In some instances, controlling spouses limit their spouse’s ability to access crucial financial paperwork and other documents. When divorcing a controlling spouse, do yourself a favor and ask your attorney what they will need to work on your case down the line. Collect those documents sooner rather than later to strengthen your position.
Failing to prepare is preparing to die when divorcing a controlling spouse
In divorce matters, preparation and proactive thinking are essential, especially when dealing with a controlling husband or wife. Your goals may be noble, but unless they’re clearly articulated and actively pursued, they hold little weight. Considering the opposing objectives of a controlling spouse, proactive behavior becomes even more crucial.
Please contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, today for a free-of-charge consultation to discuss this subject and any other in family law. A consultation is always free of charge with one of our licensed family law attorneys and is available six days a week.
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it’s essential to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our Divorce lawyers in Spring, TX, are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
