Getting a divorce is never easy. I’m sure you can go online or to the bookstore and find plenty of resources that will tell you otherwise, however. As much as I would like to tell you that you can get a divorce without any stress or concern, I can’t do so, honestly. The fact is that no matter what circumstances you find yourselves in, you will almost certainly face difficulties associated with you are divorced. Choosing to get a divorce or dealing with the divorce that has been thrust upon you means digging deep within yourself and making conscious decisions intended to benefit yourself and your family in the future.
Some of the most important decisions you will have to make regarding your divorce will occur after the divorce is complete. By then, you will have a family court order, called a final decree of divorce, signed by all the parties, your attorneys, and the judge. These are your marching orders regarding dividing property between yourself and your spouse, as well as the structure of raising children in separate households. You and your spouse will either have gone to court and had a judge issued these orders, or you will have negotiated these orders in mediation. However, no matter how you all came to these orders, you will be expected to follow them now and in the future.
I don’t think any of us have been asked more concerned about the future than we are now. With the coronavirus pandemics still swirling, we have been forced to consider what our lives look like right now and what they will necessarily look like weeks, months, in years into the future. While many people are more than ready to offer their predictions about what the future will look like, the truth is that none of us know exactly what the future holds regarding anything. Our lives in the future can be shaped by significant events like a viral pandemic and can be shaped by relatively minor events which are personal to us in our families. Think about it this way: your house could be blown over by a tornado that impacts only your home, or it could be flooded by a hurricane that moves an entire region. Either way, your life is affected to varying extents.
That brings us to the topic of today’s blog post. All of us are dealing with the impacts of the coronavirus pandemic. Relatively few of us are dealing with the effects of coming off of a divorce during the coronavirus pandemic. Suppose you are working through taking steps to improve your life during this time. After the conclusion of a divorce, then today’s blog post is for you. I have some thoughts to share with you on how to begin to rebuild your life and your career after your divorce. Much of the information that I am going to share with you is applicable at any time. However, I hope this advice is convenient for those coming off of divorce during this pandemic.
Rebuilding your life after a divorce
Call me crazy, but I can’t think of a better time for you to be approaching the question of how to rebuild your life after a divorce than right now in the wake of this pandemic. I know it may seem incredibly daunting during this time. Still, I think there are unique aspects to rebuilding your life right now that can help you focus better and be mindful of what goals are significant to consider, given that you have already been going through crazy. In your own life, I think ongoing changes due to the pandemic may be beneficial to you in some ways. Let me explain.
My thoughts on this subject car cover if you have to rebuild your life after a divorce, you may as well do so when the entire world is doing the same thing. What does it mean to rebuild your life after divorce? From a family perspective, it can be helpful to consider what is truly important to you when determining the following steps to take in your life. Many times, our attention may be diverted in many different ways, leaving us unable to focus on the things that are going to make you happy and feel content in your post-divorce life. We’re all sort of like big mouth bass in that way- if we see something shiny, we are liable to go after that to the detriment of other areas of our lives.
Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but not much has been shining in our world for months now. Or at least that’s the way that we have been made to feel regarding the world and the pandemic in general. With fewer things going on and therefore fewer things to divert our attention, you have a better opportunity to focus on the essential things now as you are coming off of a divorce.
For instance, you may be concerned with your family life after your divorce has ended. No matter how your child custody situation Was resolved, you may be dissatisfied with the outcome. If you are concerned with rebuilding your relationship with your children, now is as good a time as any to take steps towards doing so. Your children may find themselves in situations where they are not attending school for the beginning of this school year in may have more flexible schedules to spend more time with you than they would have had the pandemic not been ongoing. Take some time to communicate to your ex-spouse about ways that you believe both of you can benefit from spending time with your children right now.
Consider what is most important to you in your life and what steps you need to take to strengthen those areas. For example, now is a terrific time to get a hold of your finances. This may seem counterintuitive given the degree of job loss we have seen in our area and across the nation. Still, if you are fortunate enough to be in a position with stable employment, the steps you can take to rebuild your financial life do not have to be dramatic. Here are a few tips I could give you on rebuilding your finances in the wake of a divorce.
Rebuilding your financial life after a divorce
Before you can take concrete steps towards achieving financial goals, you must control where your money is going. During your divorce, it may have felt like your money has been stretched thinner than at any time before. A divorce is a particular time for a person as bills and responsibilities that they had never encountered before suddenly became relevant in their lives. With that said, the feeling of having your finances out of your control can be a scary one.
From my experience, I would recommend getting yourself on a reasonable budget each month. There isn’t as much value in trying to project your income and expenses months into the future, but you are more than capable of doing so weeks into the future, even if you have an irregular income. Try sitting down Without any distraction At the end of this month and begin budgeting for September. These budgets do not have to be complex. All you have to do is get a handle on the money you make any expenses you have. It may be the first time in your life that you have ever done something like this.
What you find in your budget may surprise and even upset you. That’s OK. Sometimes the process of rebuilding your life, especially from a financial perspective, can be a bit disheartening. However, I would somewhat be disheartened than a shocking monster on the line to learn that expenses and debts are spiraling out of control when you could have done something to stop the bleeding. You may be in a position where all you need to do is get yourself organized and better allocate the money that you make. Or, you may be in a place where your monthly expenses are greater than your monthly income. This means that additional forms of employment or a career change may be necessary.
Whatever your specific situation is in your life after a divorce, you need to understand that you can take concrete steps towards improving your situation. I do not doubt that the challenges you face are significant. However, I also believe that the challenges you face are all relative and that we rarely face obstacles and challenges that we cannot surmount. Getting organized and being intentional is the best place to start when you want to rebuild your life after a divorce.
Rebuilding your career after divorce during the coronavirus pandemic
As opposed to rebuilding your personal life after divorce during the COVID-19 pandemic, the steps towards rebuilding your career are likely to be much more straightforward. I say this because your personal life has both emotions and outside circumstances are weighing in on the subject. On the other hand, near-professional life and career have more to do with external factors and less with emotion. Yes, your frustrations and emotions may be a part of rebuilding a job after your divorce, but other people’s emotions are less relevant in this discussion.
I think of people who have just come off a divorce and need to establish or re-establish a career is that you may have fewer responsibilities after your divorce than you did while you were married. This is especially true if you are a newly divorced person without any children. You may have previously had financial responsibilities tied to your ex-spouse that required you to work in a job you did not like. For instance, if you worked in a job just for the health insurance due to a medical condition that your ex-spouse suffers from, you may no longer have to work because you are not responsible for caring for her anymore.
This is a degree of freedom that you may have never experienced in your professional life. Why not use this time as one of transition for you and your family? You could use the months following your divorce to work part-time jobs to pay the bills while also attending school or getting whatever certifications you may need to work in another field of industry? The critical thing to keep in mind is that you do not need to follow the same path to career success. There are multiple ways for you to have a fulfilling professional life. You don’t need to keep going down the same Rd professionally if it is not fulfilling. The divorce itself may have been stressful, but your post-divorce working life does not have to be.
Questions about a career in life in general after a difficult divorce? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are an excellent opportunity for you to learn more about our office and our client’s services. Our attorneys and staff take a great deal of pride in serving our neighbors and community members throughout the family law courts of Southeast Texas.