Will A Divorce Cost Me More If I Am the One Who Initiates It?

You might hesitate before filing for divorce, wondering, will a divorce cost me more just because I’m the one initiating it? It’s a common concern—and a valid one. Many believe that taking the first step comes with extra financial burdens or legal disadvantages. In reality, the cost of your divorce depends less on who files first and more on how prepared you are, how complex your assets and custody issues are, and how willing both sides are to negotiate. Filing first can actually offer strategic benefits, like setting the pace and having time to gather documents. So before you let fear decide, consider the full picture—smart planning often matters more than who starts the process.

Filing Fees and Service Costs

The first expense you face as the petitioner includes:

• Court filing fees: Every state has its own cost, but most hover around $300.
• Service of process: You must officially notify your spouse. Using a sheriff or process server adds another $50 to $100.
• Copies and documentation: Certified copies, notary fees, and document preparation may add to the total.

These charges are unavoidable for the person who initiates. The respondent doesn’t pay these unless they file a counter-petition or ask for specific court actions. Still, these are just startup costs.

Attorney’s Fees: It Depends on How the Case Unfolds

Attorney’s fees often make up the largest chunk of divorce expenses. Whether you’re the one who files or not, how much you spend depends on how long the case drags on and how many issues you fight over. A peaceful uncontested divorce usually stays under $5,000. A contested divorce can go past $15,000, sometimes even higher.

So, does being the petitioner make attorney’s fees worse? Only if you:

• File too early without gathering documents
• Start with aggressive demands
• File while emotions run high and drag the case into court battles

If your spouse reacts badly and refuses to settle, the process may take longer and cost more. But that has more to do with conflict than who filed first.

Does Filing First Give Any Advantage?

In some cases, yes. Filing first means you pick the timing. That can help you prepare financially and emotionally before the paperwork begins. You also get to set the tone by deciding what to include in the original petition. That could involve child custody preferences, property division requests, or spousal support proposals.

In court, the petitioner usually presents their side first. That doesn’t give a legal advantage, but it allows your attorney to frame the narrative. This can help if the case becomes a trial. Still, these benefits don’t directly relate to cost. They impact control and preparation, which may help reduce expenses if handled smartly.

Property Division and Spousal Support

Texas is a community property state, so all income, property, and debt gained during the marriage are subject to division. It doesn’t matter who filed. Courts try to divide things fairly, and the judge won’t punish you for filing first.

Spousal support—or “maintenance” in Texas—also follows state guidelines. Judges look at factors like:

• Length of the marriage
• Income difference between spouses
• Efforts to seek employment
• History of abuse

Filing first doesn’t make it more likely you’ll pay support. If anything, being proactive may help you prepare evidence to limit or avoid payments.

Could Filing First Make You Look Like the Aggressor?

Will A Divorce Cost Me More if I file first? Learn what affects costs, who pays what, and how to avoid unnecessary expenses.

However, if you blindside your spouse, it could trigger emotional or legal retaliation. That might raise costs. To reduce the chance of backlash:

• Try to talk to your spouse before filing
• Consider mediation first
• File when you’re calm and organized

The Real Costs Come From Conflict

If you and your spouse fight over every detail, expect the cost to rise quickly. Lengthy legal battles lead to more hearings, more paperwork, and higher attorney fees. The petitioner may start the fire, but the respondent can fan the flames just as much.

Here’s what tends to increase divorce costs, regardless of who files:

• Disputes over custody or visitation
• Arguments about who keeps the house
• Hidden assets or dishonesty
• Filing unnecessary motions
• Refusing to negotiate or mediate

In contrast, cooperation can bring costs down. Filing first while aiming for a peaceful process might even save you money in the long run.

Tips to Reduce Costs When You File First

If you’re planning to file for divorce, the following strategies may help control expenses:

1. Get Organized Before Filing

Gather financial documents, pay stubs, tax returns, mortgage records, and anything else the court may ask for. Being prepared can help your attorney work faster.

2. Use Mediation if Possible

Even if you’re the one who files, suggest mediation early. It costs less than trial and gives both sides a say in the outcome.

3. Don’t Use Divorce as Payback

Avoid filing demands meant to upset your spouse. Aggressive tactics often backfire and drive up legal fees.

4. Keep Communication Civil

Limit emotional outbursts in texts and emails. Assume everything could be used in court.

5. Work With an Attorney Who Respects Your Budget

A good attorney helps you understand which fights are worth the cost. Ask about flat rates for uncontested divorces or limited-scope services.

When It Might Cost You More to File First

In some situations, being the one who files can make the divorce slightly more expensive:

• If you rush into court without preparing
• If you have to pay service fees in a hard-to-reach location
• If your spouse refuses to cooperate because you filed first
• If your petition includes requests that cause immediate conflict

Even then, the difference usually stays small compared to the total cost of divorce. And with planning, you can avoid many of these issues.

When Filing First May Actually Save You Money

There are times when filing first gives you the upper hand financially. These include:

• You catch signs that your spouse may drain bank accounts or hide assets
• You expect your spouse to move out of state
• You need to set custody terms quickly
• You want to freeze large property transactions

In those cases, filing fast can protect your interests and prevent bigger legal problems later.

Why Filing First Won’t Cost You More in Your Divorce

Will a divorce cost me more if I’m the one who files first? Not necessarily. While you may cover the initial filing fees, the total cost usually depends on how contentious the case becomes—not who starts it. In fact, initiating the divorce can give you a strategic edge if you’re well-prepared and committed to resolving issues efficiently. Staying organized, avoiding unnecessary conflict, and prioritizing resolution over retaliation can significantly reduce expenses. The real cost comes from prolonged disputes, not from taking the first step.

Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

if you have any questions about the material in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-chargeconsultationsix days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultationscan go a long way towards helping you learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about the circumstances facing you and your family in whatever stage of a case you find yourself in.

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