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How to Co-Parent Effectively After Separation or Divorce

When you and your spouse separate to begin a divorce process it may feel like your relationship with your spouse has come to an end. In many ways it has. The two of you will no longer be living together and the end of your marriage is quickly approaching. The person that you have shared an extended period of your life with will no longer be your spouse or partner. In this way, your relationship with him or her truly is coming to an end.

On the other hand, while your marriage relationship will be coming to an end that does not mean you will not share an important relationship with him or her moving forward. Specifically, you will still share a co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse even after your divorce. When it comes to co-parenting, you and your ex-spouse will need to learn how to manage conflicts, foster a working relationship with one another, and put the best interests of your children first when it comes to decision-making circumstances.

If you are just beginning a divorce, then it can seem like an impossible proposition to imagine a circumstance where you and your co-parent can work together amicably. Even when it comes to a subject as important as your children the two of you may be in disagreement on so many issues that finding yourself in a circumstance where you can put aside your differences and work together for a common cause may not seem realistic at all. Because we don’t know your specific circumstances, there is no way to tell if this is true or if it just feels that way to you.

However, make no mistake that you and your co-parent can at least work towards building the framework of a relationship that can allow you to effectively raise a child together. While there will be some emphasis put on this by your family court judge the real work has to be done by you and your ex-spouse. Simply hoping that the two of you will be able to work together better on issues related to your children after you get divorced than you were able to during the marriage is not likely to result in any tangible differences in parenting.

Rather, the best that you and your co-parent can do is to take steps to set aside certain differences and focus on your common goals associated with raising a child together. There are relational problems that you will have to overcome as well as logistical issues associated with living in a household separate from your co-parent. These are all challenges that you will need to be intentional about overcoming. That means creating goals for the two of you and working to achieve those goals together. But those goals and how you go about achieving them will depend upon your specific circumstances as well as the needs of your children.

In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to share with you our thoughts on how to co-parent effectively after you separate or get divorced from your spouse. These will be practical tips that are intended to help you make progress with your co-parent today when it comes to improving how you approach co-parenting and what you can do to better manage conflict and overcome adversity in this important post-divorce relationship. Bearing in mind that it is your child who stands to benefit or be harmed most by this relationship, we are glad to be able to share some perspective about this subject with you today.

Communication is key

When it comes to being able to co-parent effectively after a divorce or child custody case the name of the game is communication. There is no doubt that you are very likely to find yourself in a position where you do not agree with your co-parent on every subject related to your children. Those disagreements may have directly led to you separating from your spouse for getting divorced in the first place. However, now that you have chosen to get a divorce you will be entering into a situation where being able to communicate effectively with your co-parent will be very important.

However, we also realize that communication may not be something that you excel at especially regarding your co-parent. Very few of us are born gifted communicators. This means that we must work at communicating to become better at this skill. You and your co-parent should take the time necessary to work with one another to impro