To address the question, “Is divorce more difficult for men than women,” it’s important to acknowledge that divorce is challenging for everyone. Based on my experience working with many individuals through their divorces, I believe that while divorce is tough on all parties, men often face greater difficulties. They may struggle more with planning, navigating the process, and coping with the emotional and practical impacts compared to women.
For as long as we talk about the hidden difficulties of divorce, men face some very straightforward problems more often than women. For those reasons, we can look at divorce from our perspective of therapy ING problems that men tend to deal with more often than not compared to two women. Let’s examine these factors and discover how men can handle the challenges of divorce more effectively by preparing thoroughly.
Men are more often caught by surprise regarding the divorce
From my experience as an attorney, I have observed that men often seem more surprised by the filing of divorce compared to their wives. It would appear that men are more willing to tolerate failing marriages rather than to do something about it and file for divorce. When this happens, we see that wives are probably more inclined to take the bull by the horns and move forward with the divorce. Not wanting to cause a scene or make the situation at home worse may not tell their husbands about getting a divorce. However, it’s my experience that women will more readily surprise their husbands with a divorce than vice versa.
The Impact of Filing First in Divorce: What It Means for You
What you need to know about your circumstances is what this means for you in the short and long term. Doesn’t it matter who files first for divorce? The truth is that there is no legal benefit to either being the petitioner or the respondent in a divorce case. The petitioner is the party who files for the divorce, and the respondent is the spouse who responds to and answers the original petition. Nothing in the Texas family code says the petitioner gets to pick or choose any particular divorce item or has a tactical advantage explicitly in the family code. With that said, there are some advantages to being the party who files first for the divorce.
From a psychological perspective, being caught off guard by a divorce can be particularly challenging. One moment, you might be going about your life as usual, and the next, you discover that your spouse is ending your marriage. Not receiving a call, text, or direct communication about this decision can leave you feeling powerless. Anticipating or considering divorce is one thing, but being served with divorce papers brings the reality of the situation into sharp focus. The entire circumstance becomes extremely real, so you see a process server or constable deputy approaching you with divorce papers. There is not much you can do at that stage to reason your way out of what is about to happen.
Preparing for Divorce: The Advantage of Having an Attorney
In the meantime, your spouse has likely been using this time to prepare for the case that she has filed. For instance, she has probably hired an attorney to help her facilitate the divorce. Having an attorney makes the divorce process much more accessible and streamlined. You can plot your case out like you were playing chess rather than simply playing checkers. Most people can go online to understand the initial steps of divorce, including the necessary paperwork and immediate preparation. However, it takes a bit more planning to determine how to prepare for the following stages of a case in the importance of getting your life in order and preparing for mediation or a temporary orders hearing.
An attorney will also assist you in tracking and documenting all property that needs to be divided in the divorce. We know that there will be property subject to division in your divorce. Community property counts as any property accumulated during your marriage, with few exceptions. Therefore, even if your spouse did not contribute $1 to your household income, the parcel you purchased, and personal items, you own your family house and your retirement, or all potentially subject to division and very likely are. This means your spouse has had the opportunity to plan how they want the property divided and to formulate a strategy. All the while, you are losing opportunities to inventory the property that’s your own.
Risks of Delayed Response: Protecting Your Interests in Divorce
If in a worst-case scenario, your spouse may even take away or hide property from you without your knowledge and before a court order is in place that expressly forbids them from doing so. I am not telling you this will happen; you know I’m not trying to scare or intimidate you. However, the reality is that this type of behavior does occur in divorces, which you need to be aware of.
When your spouse files for divorce first, she gains an advantage by preparing her case and organizing her strategy while you deal with the gap between receiving divorce papers and filing your response.
Once you receive the divorce paperwork, you face a deadline. Specifically, you have about 20 days to file your answer to the petition. During this period, you will likely need to hire an attorney and work with them to gather the necessary information to respond effectively.
While you do not need a lot of specific material at this stage of a case, you need to have certain information available, especially if you want to file a counter-petition and allege particular grounds for divorce or any other relief that you may be asking for. This all takes time as well as money. From this perspective, it would have been beneficial for you to get a jump on the case by being able to file first or at least know that a divorce was coming down the road.
The financial impacts of a divorce can include assassins harder than women
Like everything else discussed in today’s blog post, I do not know your family’s specific circumstances. Instead, I am relating to the experiences that I have had with other people. I hope that sharing these prevailing circumstances with you may be able to assist in helping you understand the importance of getting a leg up on your divorce and preparing for your case in general. With that said, in my experience, men often find themselves caught by surprise during a divorce and tend to bear a greater financial burden throughout the case. Let’s discuss how you as a man and father may end up with greater responsibility on your shoulders when it comes to the financial aspects of a divorce case.
Financial Impact of Divorce: Understanding Your Financial Responsibilities
First of all, statistically speaking, you probably earn more money than your wife does. This is not intended as a political statement or a slight against women and mothers. However, men, from my experience, tend to earn more money than women. This means that in a family of even two-income earners, your income probably weighs more than your wife does. With that in mind, you will likely bear a heavier financial burden than your spouse during the divorce. This is particularly significant in areas such as spousal support and child support. Let’s take a look at each of these subjects and talk about how you may end up feeling more of a burn as a husband and father than your spouse.
That’s assuming a situation where your spouse was a stay-at-home parent for many years, and now you are getting a divorce from her. With that said, she has not been in the workforce for many years and would need some time to transition into working again on a full-time basis. Even in a job market like this one, where it would now be difficult to find a full-time job, a lack of education and experience may make this more difficult for your spouse. Therefore, if you want to move out of the home and she no longer has access to your income, you may find yourself in a position where you say some degree of spousal support to her during your divorce. This would allow your spouse some time to be able to transition back into the workforce.
Understanding Spousal Support and Conservatorship in Divorce
Temporary spousal support does not necessarily mean you will have to pay support indefinitely after your divorce ends. Permanent spousal maintenance is unlikely unless your wife is disabled, cares for a disabled child, or faces other significant barriers to entering the workforce. However, courts often award temporary spousal support, and you must demonstrate that you have the financial ability to pay it. For this, you should have a budget prepared to show what your income is and what your actual responsibilities are from a job standpoint. Without this, you put yourself in a position where a judge could get the wrong idea about how much income you actually earn and, therefore, how much you can afford to pay in spousal maintenance.
Next, consider that courts often name mothers as the primary conservator of children. Fathers frequently assume they have little chance of being named primary conservators. This belief may stem from observing other men’s experiences or hearing negative stories about men’s chances in custody cases. As a result, many fathers have a pessimistic view of their chances, simply due to their gender.
Challenges Fathers Face with Conservatorship and Child Support
However, the reality is that women tend to act as primary conservators of the children more often during the ordinary course of events than fathers do. For this reason, judges are much more apt to name women as primary conservators when compared to men. When men do not win primary conservatorship of their children, they often face the responsibility of paying child support. Since fathers typically spend less time with their children, courts usually require them to contribute financially through child support. This is another way that fathers end up feeling the burden of the finances in a divorce.
Child support is typically paid monthly after a divorce. Courts calculate it by applying a percentage to your net monthly income, based on the number of children involved. In Texas, child support can take up to 50% of your net monthly income, depending on the number of children. It would help if you had a plan in place when it comes to the payment of child support such that you could end up having to pay both child support and spousal support throughout your case.
Child support is a significant percentage of your net monthly income as a divorced father. This means that you should consider What you have to do to ensure That you do not miss payments in the future and risk going back and defending yourself in an enforcement case. Enforcement cases occur when you violate the order in some way. These cases can cost you time and money in the future, especially if you were to lose your job, reduce income, or otherwise fall behind in your child support payments.
Closing thoughts on whether or not divorce is tougher on men than women
Divorce is undoubtedly challenging for everyone involved—men, women, children, mothers, and fathers. When considering whether “is divorce more difficult for men than women,” it’s evident that while all parties face hardships, men often encounter unique difficulties. Based on my experience helping clients through divorce, I see that this process, although frustrating, can be an opportunity for personal growth. Men and women alike can use this experience to address challenges, make positive changes, and work towards better outcomes for themselves and their families. Choosing to actively engage in the process can help you navigate the difficulties and improve future circumstances.
The best advice I can offer a man or father is to actively participate in the divorce process with an experienced attorney by your side. Even if you’re not thrilled about the divorce and hoped for reconciliation, once you’ve been served with divorce papers, it’s crucial to proceed as if the divorce is inevitable. This means filing a response and likely hiring an attorney to guide you through the process. An experienced family law attorney will provide you with the best options for preparing your case and advocating for you both in and out of the courtroom.
Other Related Articles
- Is divorce harder on women or men?
- When Can a Judgment Nunc Pro Tunc Be Used in Texas Divorce Proceedings?
- How Divorce Can Impact Surrogacy Agreements in Texas
- How to Use Civil Procedure Rule 11 Agreements to Expedite Your Divorce Process
- Technical Requirements for Filing Divorce Online in Texas
- Legal Requirements for Serving a Divorce Petition in Texas
- How to Correct Clerical Errors in Divorce Decrees with Nunc Pro Tunc Judgments
- Where to file for divorce in Texas: Understanding County Residency Requirements
- Understanding the Return on Investment from Hiring a Private Investigator for Your Texas Divorce
- Legal Penalties for Failing to Pay a Divorce Settlement in Texas
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultation six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are an excellent way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law and how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
