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The myths and realities of cops and divorce

The world of divorce is one where myths and hyperbole rule today. If you have never been through a divorce, then you have no first-hand knowledge of what to expect. In a situation like that, it is normal to ask other people who have been through a divorce about what their experiences have been. When it comes to learning more about the divorce process we seek advice from family, friends, and other people that are close to us. These are the people who are trustworthy in our eyes and therefore are worth asking questions regarding a divorce scenario. 

Unfortunately, the advice and perspective that these folks can bring to the equation are rather limited. This is since a divorce case is incredibly unique for each couple that goes through the process. This means that what your best friend told you about his divorce will likely not be the same situation that you found in your divorce. Likewise, if you're sister-in-law went through an incredibly easy divorce that does not necessarily mean that your case will be the same. Rather, you need to be able to consider the specific circumstances and situations in your life and then determine how they will play out within a divorce.

When it comes to situations like this hey people will simply assume that there are not enough resources out there for them to learn about a divorce case. When we talk about going through a divorce case it means that you might be facing incredibly difficult times for your family. Having to sort out questions about child custody and property division is not easy. Consider that what you have built over the entirety of your adult life both as a parent and as a hard worker it could end up being harmed a great deal in a divorce case. Losing a significant amount of time with your children or a significant portion of your net worth is not something that anyone wants to consider as a possibility in their divorce case.

However, it is distinctly possible that your divorce may signal a new stage in your life in more ways than one period undoubtedly, the divorce means that you will be living in a separate household from your spouse and beginning a transition into single adulthood. If you have children, this also means that you could begin to transition with them and your spouse into a co-parenting situation. Raising children with a partner who does not live in the same house as you and is no longer in a relationship with you presents unique and profound challenges in and of itself. Have you considered how well you and your spouse may work together in this regard after your divorce? 

Additionally, you are responsible for determining how your life may proceed in terms of dividing up your community estate. Texas is a state where it does not matter who earned the money or whose name appears on the title or receipt of an item. So long as the item was purchased, or the income was earned during your marriage it is subject to division in your divorce. As a result, you need to be aware of the intricacies of Texas Community property law and be adept at negotiation in creative problem solving when it comes to these issues.

If you find yourself asking questions about how you are possibly going to get brought up to speed and all these issues before the beginning of your divorce then you are not alone. You may have just been served with divorce papers from your spouse and find yourself with more questions and answers. On top of that, the rest of your life: your work, your children, other activities, and any other ongoing issues in your life will not come to an end or go on vacation just because of your divorce. Rather, the rest of your life keeps going at full speed even if you need to take some time to devote to your divorce.

Being a law enforcement officer on top of all these factors certainly does not make a situation less stressful or easier. Law enforcement officers, as generous and magnanimous as you are, have limited amounts of time to devote to various issues in their lives. If you are going through a divorce case and need to be able to have a helping hand from an advocate then the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan would be privileged to assist you. We offer free of charge consultations six days a week and do so in multiple settings. Consultations are available at either of our two Houston area locations. We also offer free of charge consultations by video and over the phone. Whatever suits you better considering your hectic schedule. We want to be there for you and flexibility in meeting with an attorney is one of the first areas you may be able to get back on your feet and start planning intentionally for your divorce.

Do moms always get custody compared to dads?

One of the most common questions that I received from law enforcement officers is whether mothers are always awarded primary custody of children. When I say primary custody what I'm referencing is being the parent with whom the children live most of the year and who receives child support. Being able to designate the primary residence of a child and then having the right to receive child support are probably the two most noteworthy characteristics of being a primary conservator. For that reason, the new parents seek to become primary conservators they're from no other reason than to have more time with the kids and have more resources available to spend on them. 

The tried-and-true thought that many parents have at the beginning of a divorce is that mothers are automatically granted primary custody if only they ask for it. This goes back to old-fashioned notions that mothers are better suited to parents and this role compared to fathers. I think there is some truth to this given what I have seen in helping my wife raise our four kids. Women more frequently take on the role and responsibility of being the primary conservator in the home. The father more typically takes on the role of being the major breadwinner. To me, this is the main reason why fathers are less likely to be named as the primary conservator of children in a divorce. Simply put, this has been their role before the divorce case and judges are less likely to award primary custody to a parent who has never done it before. 

The scheduling associated with serving your community as a law enforcement officer complicates this question as well. Working an atypical schedule means that being available to your children before and after school, on the weekends, or in the event your child gets sick is not really in the cards. Rather, you may be more reliant upon your spouse to be able to fulfill this obligation for you. This does not mean that you are a negligent parent or otherwise incapable of performing in this role. However, like so many families before yours, you have positioned yourself to be able to take on a role for your child that you are more accustomed to.

The bottom line is that a family court judge will look in the best interest of your child when deciding regarding custody or any other question associated with him or her. What you want and what your spouse wants are not necessarily near the top of the list for considerations of a family court judge. Rather, the judge will look to what is in the best interest have your child now, what is likely to be in their best interests in the future as well as other considerations about your child's physical and mental health. These will be the primary drivers of four decision-making when it comes to your children by a judge. 

Being able to show that you are well suited to acting as a primary conservator, if that is what you want, can take some adept argument and flexible possession schedules If you are a law enforcement officer. Most law enforcement officers are not able to commit themselves to a regular 40-hour workweek like many people are. As a result, you need to be able to show a family court judge now you can support your children despite the challenge presented by your work and work schedule.

I recommend that you contact the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan to begin the process of developing and gaining knowledge regarding how you can build a case that is strong and firm. Make no mistake: your spouse is preparing for the divorce right now. Every moment you lose in terms of preparation will forever be lost. Whether you are contemplating a divorce or find yourself having to respond to divorce paperwork filed by your spouse getting in touch with an experienced family law attorney immediately can make a huge difference for you. Remember, we offer free of charge consultations six days a week at flexible times and locations.

What factors will be most important when determining custody arrangements for your children?

Above all else, a family court judge will be concerned with your child being able to be raised in a safe and structured environment. If there is anything about your lifestyle that could be seen as less than safe or not structured, then that is something that you can attend to immediately. I have had law enforcement officers ask me if they should just go ahead and change jobs at the beginning of a divorce if they believe that my work is going to be a factor that goes against you in the analysis by a judge. This would be completely up to you. No attorney should be in a position where he or she tells you to quit your job or to do anything else Related to your work period however if you believe that changing positions within your law enforcement body or changing jobs completely offers you an advantage in your life overall than that is a consideration that you may want to think about.

Otherwise, the court will to what schedule you and your spouse implement during your divorce to determine how well it is working out for your child. The temporary orders phase of your case begins once you attend mediation or complete a temporary orders hearing. Orders are signed by the judge you will have instructions on how to conduct yourself throughout the remaining portions of your divorce. This means that you should take steps to Prepare as diligently as possible for our temporary orders hearing to think that the temporary orders hearing is not important just because it only covers a temporary period would be a mistake. Having an experienced attorney who knows how to prepare for these hearings as well for mediation it's a tremendous advantage that you should work to take advantage of.

Have either you or your spouse committed any acts of domestic violence or family violence during your marriage? What about during the few months before the divorce? If so, then your chances of being named as the primary conservator of your children would take a major blow. When it comes to providing for the safety of your children having a history of family violence is not something that goes in your favor. Being able to show a judge that you have never engaged in acts of family violence and that your children can be safe at home with you is a major point in your favor.

On the other hand, if you have unfortunately engaged in acts of family violence then you need to be able to prepare for what is to come. Your spouse is going to take the abuse as an issue in your divorce. Your decision to engage in family violence may have been spurred by several reasons but the fact remains that resorting to violence in the household is never a good thing or justified. As a result, you need to be able to develop a game plan for how to address the issues of family violence. It is not as if you can merely brush them aside and act like they didn't happen at all. This would show you are not serious about addressing those issues and a judge would have a hard time believing not the best interests of your children are served by you having continued contact with them.

Have you started attending any kind of therapy based on reducing the amount of anger that you feel? Or have you attended therapy offered to you through your law enforcement body that might be able to help you channel or address the anger issues at their core? These would be great pieces of evidence to be able to show a judge you take serious responsibility for keeping your family safe. If you are out aware of how to begin this process, then speaking with one of the experienced family law attorneys at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is a great place to start. Our attorneys can help you too rehabilitate your image in front of a judge and take the steps necessary to learn how to act in the best interest of your children.

Finally, a factor that is especially relevant when it comes to a law enforcement officer like yourself is the mental and physical health of both you and your spouse. Judges want to know that you can care for your children when it comes to assigning custody roles. If you are physically unable to care for your children and this presents a unique set of challenges both for you and for the kids. Having a physically fit parent is crucial for your kids.

When it comes to your mental health many law enforcement officers suffer stress and anxiety when serving their community. I hope that this is not the case for you, but it certainly is the case for many law enforcement officers. If there are questions about your mental health, then expect that this will be an issue in your divorce case. you can be proactive in seeking counseling or mental health therapy through your police unit. You will likely be able to better your chances at being able to have sustained custody of your children and can prove the quality of the work you perform on behalf of your community all at the same time.

Questions about the material contained in today's blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

If you have any questions about the material contained and today's blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law journeys offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to word more about the world of Texas family law as well as about how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.

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