Working is something we all need to do. Some say that working is ingrained in us as human beings. We are called to work by something deep within us. The income from our work allows our families to live productive lives in a material sense. Many of us draw a great deal of our self-esteem and self-worth from work. All in all, our work makes up more of who we are than anything else.
The relationship that each of us has with our jobs becomes even more important when we look at our lives from the perspective of family life.’ Who we are as husbands, wives, mothers, and fathers impacts our relationship with work. Work may have been something optional in our younger years. However, once you start a family work becomes anything but optional. Having an income becomes incredibly important for a family. Having specific goals means focusing on your work.
Today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan provides you with an insight into how your family life is negatively impacted by work. Specifically, what are some warning signs that your work may be creating problems in your life? Better than asking that question is determining how to prevent your work from negatively impacting your family life. Stick with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan as we answer these questions and more.
Working to live? Or living to work?
The trend towards remote work is a blessing and a curse for us. On the positive side, working remotely provides us with flexibility. Anyone who has worked from home has experienced this. We have more time to attend to household duties. Picking up and dropping off the kids at school is possible now. Folding laundry while you are on a Zoom meeting. This is not out of the ordinary.
However, we also see that remote work means that we are seemingly never off the clock. At least when we were in the office there was a chance to leave work behind. Now we live where our computer is. Employers know this. It’s tough to say you will get to it later when your boss knows you are within arm’s reach of your computer at all hours. Taking this one step further, it’s like you are never off the clock. There is always some task which can be worked on.
Remote work has caused many of us to come face to face with a key set of questions to ask ourselves. Are we working to live? Or, are we living to work? Do our lives revolve around our work or does our job revolve around our life? In some situations and seasons of life, it may be hard to tell the difference. How long can we sustain work like that? Time will tell. In the short-term, it’s worth asking how our families can survive around-the-clock work, as well.
Impact of work on our home lives
Being self-disciplined is something that goes hand in hand with working. At least, it goes hand in hand with working well. Those of us who struggled with self-discipline likely struggled with working. Developing the quality of self-discipline not only your work itself but your home life, as well. Being self-disciplined at work but not at home only serves your family so much. Your home life is better than you can balance all your responsibilities.
Working and building a life for yourself and your family. Is that what you wanted when you started at your place of employment? Did you have visions of raising the company ladder? At the same time, that rise would help your family. More money means a better life, right? Well, not always. It can mean a better life when you are prepared for it.
Not being prepared for either the positives or the negatives of work means bad things for your family. We all have good days and bad days at work. Things we can control and things beyond our control. We encounter all these sorts of circumstances at work. Bringing home those bad experiences means potential problems on the home front. Our families tend to bear the brunt of our frustrations and anxieties we cannot show at work.
The end of a relationship means the beginning of a family law case
Experiencing the end of a relationship is never easy. We’ve all been there before. What was once a meaningful relationship turned out to be heartache. Something or someone got in the way of your relationship working. It could be you, your spouse, or something else entirely. Whatever the situation, you and your spouse or significant other are on your way out. It’s tough to deal with but that’s the reality of the situation.
On the other hand, a family law case is incoming. The end of your relationship means that a family law case is being filed. A divorce or child custody case. Examining the causes of your family drama may be helpful. By understanding why your relationship is ending you avoid being in that situation in the future. With attempts to avoid a family law case came increased communication.
It may have been too little, too late. When a relationship ends it is tough for the participants to see it coming. There are almost certainly distractions that keep you from seeing what is happening. One minute you are in a productive relationship. The next, you find yourself asking what happened? Was it something you said? These are the sort of questions to play over and over in your mind. In any event, the relationship is over. Now you are in a family law case.
Preparing for a family law case
Proper preparation is what separates successful parties from unsuccessful ones. Understanding the law and how it fits into your family dynamics is very important. Making assumptions about your case based on your cousin’s divorce will not serve you well. Rather, taking into account your facts is incredibly important. What is unique about your family comes to the forefront in a family law case. Assuming that your case turns out like your best friend’s is a mistake. His circumstances aren’t the same as yours.
Considering an attorney? That is a good decision for you and your family. Many people go through a family law case without any preparation. These folks run from one problem to another. Because the entire case is spent putting out fires there is never an opportunity to establish any kind of strategy or plan. Problems arise in every family law case. There is no avoiding this reality. However, you miss out on many opportunities in a case when you do not plan for them.
Having an attorney by your side to walk you through a family law case is a step in the right direction. People have all sorts of opinions on attorneys. However, when you are in the thick of a family law case an attorney is who you need to walk next to you. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are here to help you prepare for your family law case. A free-of-charge consultation with one of our experienced family law attorneys is only a phone call away.
The impact of finances on your family
There are many causes of divorce in our culture today. Money is one of the leading causes. I think one of the reasons why money leads to divorce is because we are not well-trained in talking about money. For some of us growing up meant only talking about money when things were going poorly. Others of us never heard money talked about at all. Very few of us come from families where parents had a good relationship with money.
Fast forward to today and we are in a situation, therefore, that many of us simply do not have the tools to discuss money. This is true even in good times. Consider the bad times and you are left with a potentially combustible situation. Money, for better or worse, is a marker in our society for success. Having money means you are successful while the lack of money shows something less than success for a person.
When families experience money problems it leads to stress. Stress leads to anxiety and worry. A lack of communication skills only compounds the issue. What you are left with is a situation where you and your spouse run into issues seemingly every day. Being in a position where your finances are out of whack is not good. On top of that, there are many causes for out-of-control finances.
Keeping an eye on debt
It is a reality for just about every family that debt is a part of our lives. Debt was something that people shied away from in prior generations. Then, our grandparents started taking out small mortgages to buy a home. Credit cards became popular in their generation, as well. Our parents expanded on the already existing debt avenues with home equity lines of credit, cash advances, and the like. Now, debt is an ever-present part of our lives. To the point where we can finance the purchase of a single item purchased at a big box store.
My point here is that we are very comfortable with debt in this culture. There is no doubt about it. We do not shy away from the risks or opportunities that it provides us. Even massive amounts of debt are looked at as being “ok” if it is in the furtherance of our education, for example. More and more families are impacted by debt as inflation increases and uncertainty reigns in the economy.
What does this mean for you and your family? Unless you have a plan to pay down your debt it could be that the debt harms your family. We see advertisements for debt consolidation on television and the internet every day. Either have a plan to get the debt handled or be prepared to have the debt handle you.
Budgeting is the key to avoiding family law cases
A household budget This is among the most boring subjects a person can discuss. However, it is also one of the most effective tools at your disposal when it comes to avoiding a family law case. Budgets do not constrain your spending. Rather, budgets permit you to spend freely. How is this true? Because when you budget you put your money to work completely.
When all your money is allocated at the beginning of the month you have permission to spend. You do not have to wonder whether you have the money to do something you want to do. Taking your monthly income and spending it before the money begins forces you to make tough decisions about your finances. Sometimes we can paper over problems in our finances simply by moving too quickly. A budget forces us to slow down and consider these portions of our financial picture.
Working to develop a household budget is not information many family law attorneys will provide to you. However, you must do so if you want to avoid a family law case. Barreling towards a family law case because of financial problems is not a foregone conclusion for your family. Instead, take the time necessary to plan out a path where avoiding these issues is possible.
Child support issues and the failure to budget
Having a monthly child support obligation puts you in a position where you need to pay that “bill” each month. Your child relies on that money to have the things he or she needs to live. Additionally, your co-parent uses the money to help pay for daily essentials like food and rent. Many parents who pay child support do so grudgingly. It is not something that many people appreciate, as far as the impact of child support on your family.
All the different kinds of financial problems we discussed earlier relate to child support. When you are having trouble paying your bills, child support becomes almost impossible to pay. In most families, the failure to pay child support is the likeliest way to wind up in hot water with your co-parent. Each month you have a responsibility to pay child support on time and in full. The amount of child support you pay is based largely on your income. When that income changes for any reason it isn’t as if the child support obligation decreases.
Having a budget and saving money helps avoid problems with child support. When you have money in reserve paying child support is much easier. Planning for events like this should come as no surprise. Understanding your court orders means having a copy of them handy. From there, being able to set aside money for an emergency fund helps when your budget tightens for any reason.
Spousal maintenance and contractual alimony
Spousal maintenance and contractual alimony are similar to child support. These are monthly obligations to pay money to your ex-spouse. Just like with child support, you must understand your court orders. Not paying spousal maintenance or contractual alimony puts you in a position where an enforcement case may become necessary.
An enforcement case seeks to enforce the terms of your court order. This happens when you fail to pay your monthly obligation. This can happen for several reasons. However, the most common is simply not having the funds to make the payment. Communication with your ex-spouse is important when you are unable to make your monthly payment. It may be that by communicating honestly with him or her you can avoid problems that arise due to circumstances out of your control.
However, running from problem to problem in a family law case is not a good long-term solution. Rather, being able to set aside money in your budget to pay for these monthly expenses is the better outcome. The only way you’ll be able to do this is by taking control of your money and having a plan for your spending. Reducing debt, having a budget, and tightening up your expenses is the most direct way to do this.
Final thoughts on family problems and finances
There is a direct link between the problems of many families and issues and their financial lives. Some of these financial problems cannot be helped. However, many of them can be planned for when families act intentionally. Finding yourself in a position where you cannot pay your bills is both an immediate and long-term problem. Solving this problem is not always easy. However, working with an experienced family law attorney oftentimes allows you to focus on the big picture in your case. Thank you for choosing to spend part of your day with us here on the blog for the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. Interested in learning more about how your family is impacted by the material in this blog post? Contact us today.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
