How to Achieve a Successful Divorce From a Financial Perspective, Part Two

When facing a divorce, numerous factors demand your attention, making it easy to lose sight of your objectives as you embark on this journey. Simply adopting a dispassionate view and treating divorce as a long, arduous car ride where you close your eyes until it’s over won’t serve you well. Likewise, maintaining constant hyper-vigilance over every email, phone call, or perceived slight from your soon-to-be ex-spouse is not productive and won’t likely lead to successful divorce.

It’s crucial to understand that your soon-to-be ex-spouse isn’t necessarily out to ruin your life.

However, it’s essential to reflect on your actual goals during the divorce process, focusing on what you want to achieve. These are your goals. If you haven’t set any for yourself yet, now is an opportune time to establish some objectives within the context of your divorce.

You might be thinking, “I’ve never been through a divorce before, so how can I set goals?” This concern is entirely valid and aligns with our previous suggestion in a prior blog post that you consider hiring a divorce attorney to assist with your case for a successful divorce.

Goal Setting: Understanding Your Personal Motivations

While there are exceptions, most individuals entering a divorce would like to leave with as much of their property as they had at the beginning. Chances are, you share this goal with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, even if you thought you couldn’t agree on anything!

However, the motivations behind this particular goal are not always straightforward. Your reasons for wanting to retain your possessions may be different from those of another person going through a divorce. People have unique motivations that may have little to do with their spouse.

For example, feelings of guilt might motivate you in your divorce, as you believe that your actions or inactions primarily caused the divorce. If this is the case, you might make irrational decisions, conceding facts, arguments, or money to your spouse as a way of atoning for past mistakes.

I’ve encountered clients who felt that their past actions were so reprehensible that they preferred to settle their case quickly, rather than risk exposing their wrongdoings in court.

You may also feel that you owe your soon-to-be ex-spouse something. It’s natural to cling to memories of your relationship as it winds down. After all, humans are creatures of habit, whether we acknowledge it or not.

A divorce represents a significant lifestyle change for both parties. You may feel that your years of marriage to your soon-to-be ex-spouse mean that you should show them some leniency in some way.

Determining the Real Value of Property

One of the most challenging aspects of evaluating the value of your possessions is setting aside your personal opinions and history with these items to view them impartially, much like approaching your divorce as a whole. If you can master this skill, albeit difficult to learn, you’ll maintain more of your sanity throughout your divorce.

Often, we understand the intrinsic value of something but act in a way that contradicts that knowledge. I can illustrate this with a story. A former client was going through a divorce in which her husband sought the return of about six rings.

These rings were not made of precious metals and did not feature any diamonds. They were inexpensive trinkets that one might find at a flea market or obtain from an arcade machine.

Despite this, her husband requested the rings. Initially, her response was not to immediately return the rings but to rebuff him. She knew the rings held no value to anyone but her husband, yet she hesitated to part with them. Eventually, we had a conversation, during which I discussed what she stood to gain versus what she could lose in the divorce.

While her initial goal may have been to make her husband’s life difficult, she had more significant objectives, such as retaining her retirement accounts as separate property. It took time, but she realized that focusing on her broader goals diminished the significance of her spouse’s minor requests.

Emotions May Change, but Final Orders Remain

Regarding goals, the emotions driving those goals are likely to fluctuate significantly. However, the goals themselves will remain constant. The elements you wish to include in your final divorce orders will endure longer than your immediate motivations for taking certain actions during the divorce.

By defining your goals early in the divorce process, you can stay focused on your objectives and avoid being distracted by peripheral issues or emotions.

If you have questions about goal setting within the context of your divorce, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC. We offer free consultations, and our team is ready to assist you in navigating your divorce successfully.


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  1. Divorce when economic times are tough
  2. How to achieve a successful divorce from a financial perspective, Part Three
  3. How to achieve a successful divorce from a financial perspective
  4. How a mortgage is handled in a Texas Divorce
  5. Should I Hide Money from my Spouse to Get Ready for my Texas Divorce?
  6. Why is Separate Property Important and How to Keep it Separate in a Texas Divorce?
  7. What Wikipedia Can’t Tell you About Texas Divorce and Marital Property Division
  8. Texas Divorce Property Division Enforcement
  9. Separate Property in a Texas Divorce?
  10. Does it Matter Whose Name is on Title or Deed of Property in a Divorce in Texas?
  11. Is Social Security Considered Separate Property in a Texas Divorce
  12. Business Owners and Business Assets in a Texas Divorce
  13. What to do when your divorce decree does not include a marital asset?

Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it’s important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.

Our Divorce lawyers in Spring TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.

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