How to win sole custody in Texas

So far, we have walked you through the important elements regarding sole custody in Texas. However, that does not necessarily tell you any sort of game plan for how to win sole custody. When it comes right down to it, you want what is best for your children. The best interests of your child must be served by each decision that you make in your family law case. Therefore, believing that your child is best served by a sole managing conservatorship is the first step. 

Next, it is necessary to come up with a theory or plan on how to approach this subject. It is not enough to simply go into a family law case with good intentions. Rather, you need to be able to work things out with a plan in mind. A court case is complicated for those of you who have never been involved. Walking alongside an experienced family law attorney provides you with the degree of working knowledge necessary to succeed.

Preparation for hearings and trials is what wins a conservatorship case. Having documentation, testimony, and other evidence to equip your arguments is what successful parties do. Understanding that the presumption under the law favors joint managing conservatorships is critical. Going into a family law case with sufficient evidence to win sole managing conservatorship works better is a path to success.

Modifying an existing child custody order

Sometimes parents like yourself must modify a court order that already exists. Let’s assume that you are in a situation where your facts and circumstances lined up better for you all to have a joint managing conservatorship previously. However, in the past few years, you have become concerned with your ex-spouse’s drinking habit. She has always been a drinker but now the drinking impacts her relationship with your children. While this was a concern of yours previously it was not something where you felt your child’s safety to be in danger.

However, now that has all changed. Two weeks ago, your ex-wife was arrested for drunk driving while the kids were in the car with her. You were contacted by law enforcement and asked to come pick up the children. On top of that, your ex-wife and the kids had just come home from your son’s end-of-season soccer party. This meant that she was drinking in public, in front of others and your children. She then got behind the wheel of the car and took a risk with her own life and that of your children.

Now you are left with a situation where you need to figure out how to approach this subject as far as changing your court orders. Allowing your ex-wife contact with the children right now is not in their best interest. There are so many questions going through your mind currently. How best do you keep your children safe? To what extent are you able to trust your ex-wife with the children? Are you capable of assessing the situation objectively? These are the sort of relevant questions to ask yourself currently.

Obtaining a sole managing conservatorship over your child

Keeping your children safe is your top objective. There is no way to maintain the best interest of your child without acknowledging that their safety comes first. First, filing an emergency motion with the court Is an immediate way to help protect their safety. Obtaining a hearing within just a few days as possible. In truly emergency circumstances a hearing may be held without your co-parent present. Of course, an adversarial hearing must be held shortly thereafter.

However, in situations where your child’s health and safety is at risk courts often allow for ex-parte hearings with only one party present. Presenting sufficient evidence and helping the court understand the extent of the circumstances is critical in this hearing. For example, a police report, photographs, and any other evidence must be available in this hearing. This is your best opportunity to ensure the safety of her children on a short-term basis.

In the long term, obtaining sole managing conservatorship over your child may be for the best. This allows you to retain all decision-making capabilities for your child. Additionally, you maintain custody and possession rights. From there, your ex-wife may regain rights and possession time. This occurs with passing drug and alcohol screenings conducted periodically.

Working with your co-parent: even when it’s hard

Deciding to live a separate life from your co-parent is not easy. There is a certain amount of stability in a long-term relationship- even one that is floundering. Taking the step to end that relationship has consequences. Most notably, your child has consequences that come with this decision. Living apart from your co-parent does not mean that your child’s life gets worse. However, it does mean that being intentional and having a plan becomes more important. 

Having access to the same facts is key. Arguments tend to arise between parents who cannot agree on what their court orders say. As a result, it is important to have a copy of your court orders handy. A hard copy at home and an electronic version on your phone are sensible locations to store these copies. This way if there is an argument related to child custody issues you both can refer immediately to your court orders.

Additionally, it does not hurt to periodically review the court orders. This is true even in situations where you are not in disagreement with your spouse on this subject matter. Understanding your responsibilities under a court order means that there is a smaller likelihood of major disagreements arising. Simply following your court orders avoids many opportunities to argue. 

Better communication with your co-parent

One of the reasons why you may be looking into sole managing conservatorships is due to an inability to communicate with your co-parent. In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, this means that a lot of frustration is boiling to the surface. However, this frustration should not be expressed to your child. Additionally, your child should not be in the room when you discuss subjects with your co-parent. Rather, ensure that your child is away when discussing anything like this with your co-parent. 

Ultimately, you are trying to make decisions that are in the best interests of your child. For many parents, this means setting aside your hurt feelings. When your child encounters a situation involving their parents being upset it is difficult for them to figure out how to react. Ultimately, the decision to have a child supersedes any romantic relationship with your co-parent. Even though it feels like the relationship is over it can also be said that your relationship is truly beginning at this stage. That comes in the form of this co-parenting relationship.

Arguing continuously about your former relationship only causes to harm your child. During this disagreement comes a child who needs your full and undivided attention. Children thrive in situations where stability and consistency are apparent. The less consistency your child derives from a situation the worse off he or she will be. As a result, focusing your attention on your child first helps all parties involved. Allowing other areas of your life to receive more attention is a recipe for a child who suffers unnecessarily.

Needing your co-parent to help raise your child

At this point, preferring your co-parent to not have any role in the life of your child is not uncommon. Your frustrations with him or her may be to a point where it does not make sense in your mind to try to raise this child together. Many parents with these types of opinions pursue sole managing conservatorships as a result. This is logical. A sole managing conservatorship vests decision-making capabilities primarily with you. Not wanting your co-parent to have decision-making capabilities means that you hold those responsibilities almost completely. 

While this may be a logical and understandable feeling it likely does not serve the best interest of your child. In the long run, your child does better when he comes into contact with both parents. The less contact your child has with your co-parent, the more responsibility rests on your shoulders. This may be OK in times of stability for your family but there will come a time when working with your co-parent as a team is better.

Being frustrated means making decisions that are not necessarily the best in the long run. Trying to limit the contact between your child and your co-parent could be good if your co-parent has major safety issues with your child. Or, if your co-parent has displayed an inability to make good decisions for himself or your child. However, in other scenarios, this arrangement ultimately becomes difficult for a primary conservator. The longer the sole managing conservatorship persists the more pressure is on you to fulfill all parenting obligations for your child. This is not to say that you could not perform as a sole managing conservator. However, it does speak to the difficulty of raising a child with little to no assistance from your co-parent.

Communicating regularly

The bottom line is that communicating with your co-parent regularly eliminates much of the opportunity for frustration between the two of you. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will tell you that parents who try to reach out to one another consistently tend to solve problems more readily. If the only time you talk to your co-parent is when problems arise that is an indication to communicate more often.

This does not necessarily mean that these conversations need to take place face-to-face. Some parents are better at communicating over e-mail or phone than in person. The point is that the two of you need to set aside your differences long enough to speak through the issues in your lives. Your child may have week-to-week or even day-to-day issues that need to be addressed. The less frequently the two of you speak the more likely there are to be issues that arise between your families.

Using the excuse of separate households is insufficient. Your child does not care that the two of you no longer live together. All your child wants is to have the best opportunity to live a good life. Helping to facilitate that is the goal of you and your co-parent. Interested in learning more about this? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our attorneys can work with you to develop better parenting skills as a part of a child custody or divorce case.

Communication with your children

Not only do you need to communicate better with your co-parent, but you also need to communicate as well as possible with your children. Depending on their ages and maturity level communicating with your children becomes an integral part of raising them well. The more your kids understand about your life and theirs the better off he or she will be. Leaving children in the dark on all subjects related to their care is not wise. Of course, you should consider their age and maturity level when communicating with them.

Explaining to the children the best that you can about the issues facing your family promotes a level of unity you all may not have experienced. Sometimes families can present a united front which puts the children at ease. Seeing you and your co-parent on the same side of an argument is a powerful good for your children. Experiencing a level of uneasiness currently is not uncommon. For children to feel better, it requires a concerted effort on your part and your co-parents.

Handing visits to the co-parent’s home

For children who are unaccustomed to seeing their other parent the first few visits to their home can be a challenge. This is true both for you and the children. Anxiety about these sorts of visits happens all the time. For families like yours, it is best to be honest with one another about these difficulties. Every family is different How your family reacts to these challenges is different from any other family.

However, one common component of all these circumstances is that children do better when they are aware of their circumstances. Surprising them with visits provides them with a feeling of uncertainty. By this point in your child’s life, he may have no idea about family cohesiveness. The better your child comes to understand upcoming schedules on visitation the better off he or she will feel. When your child feels better about something that typically means you will feel better, as well.

Ready to move forward with a child custody case? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

Bringing a child custody case to court takes a plan and intentionality. Wandering into a child custody case is not a good idea. Rather, working through issues ahead of time and having a plan provides a leg up on your co-parent. Simply put, there is so much at stake in a child custody case. Being anything less than prepared and diligent in this scenario is a tremendous mistake. Taking advantage of the opportunities provided to you in this case is a recipe for success.

When you are ready to file your child custody case, please reach out to the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We work with clients from across the state of Texas on matters related to child custody. We take seriously this responsibility and endeavor to work as hard as possible on behalf of our clients. Your family matters to us. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side. Any questions you may have about today’s blog post can be directed to one of our experienced family law attorneys.

Our attorneys and staff understand that you desire to move forward with the case that serves your family best. We work constantly to improve our skills in representing families and serving their best interests. Thank you for choosing to spend part of your day with us here today.

Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan    

The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan thank you for joining us today on our blog. We provide interesting and unique content every day of the year here on our website and blog. It is an honor to be able to serve people just like you in the family courts of Texas. When you are considering your representation options in a family law case, we ask that you consider our attorneys. We are privileged to serve many of our neighbors here in Texas in a variety of family law matters. This is a responsibility that we take seriously.

If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. Interested in learning more about how your family is impacted by the material in this blog post? Contact us today.