Picture this- after attempting to use counseling and therapy to resolve the issues in your marriage it has become apparent that this will not work. A divorce is in your future. Moving towards the divorce both of you are set on wanting to resolve your issues amicably. Both of you came from homes where your parents got divorced. You do not want your children to go through the same thing. So, you settle upon an amicable divorce as the best path to take in this situation. Both of you feel good about this decision.
While you know that you want an amicable divorce you are not sure how to go about doing it. This sounds like a great idea. No fighting. Maybe even no lawyers. Is it just a pipe dream or something achievable? The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are here to tell you that there are good and bad points to an amicable divorce. It’s a good thing if you can achieve your goals and protect your best interests. It’s a bad thing when your spouse’s uses the veneer of an amicable divorce to push you around.
In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to discuss one of the dirtiest tricks your spouse can pull on you in divorce. Namely, setting you up for disaster with talk of an amicable divorce. You are going to learn how things are not always what they seem in a divorce. How to prepare for these tricks is key to protecting yourself and your children in the divorce case.
The amicable divorce dirty trick impacts all varieties of people
We want to illustrate just how this dirty trick in a divorce impacts people like you. No matter your age, background, income level, or any other factor- the amicable divorce dirty trick impacts you. Do not think that because you are young have a high-paying job or don’t have kids an amicable divorce promise cannot impact you. There are people from all walks of life impacted by this dirty trick. Here are some ways that the trick is potentially harmful.
You are a stay-at-home mother who was told by her husband that an amicable divorce was best for the kids. Why put them in a situation where they need to endure a long, drawn-out divorce? Better to quickly agree to terms that are fair and balanced, right? You readily agree. You’re not one for fighting. More than that, you have children who need your love and attention. Without hiring an attorney, you sign the dotted line of a divorce decree drafted by your husband’s lawyer. You barely read it but if you have your kids you will be fine, you think.
Well, you were named primary caretaker of your children in the decree. However, your husband kept 100% of his retirement benefits, too. He pays you child support- but only $500 per month. No spousal maintenance, either. That would help pay some bills while you go back to school to finish your degree. In short, you were lulled into a false sense of security and signed a decree you shouldn’t have. The amicable divorce rouse scores another victim. This time- it’s you.
Men need to be wary of the amicable divorce dirty trick
The divorce dirty trick of amicable divorce is not only one perpetrated by men against women. Women are just as capable of pulling the wool over the eyes of their unsuspecting husbands. Men out there- I’m talking to you. Do not allow yourself to be fooled into thinking that your wife isn’t capable or willing to try to pull a fast one on you. Here is how this dirty trick is deployed against well-intentioned men like yourself in a divorce.
You love your son. He’s your pride and joy. Nothing makes you happier than coming home to see him after work. However, your wife wants a divorce. Counseling didn’t work so you suppose that the divorce is moving forward. Troubled by your friends and their divorce stories you approach your spouse at the beginning of the divorce. She suggests an amicable divorce. No fighting, no nonsense. You agree- if you get to see your son often.
You sign off on the divorce decree without reading it. Next, you didn’t hire a lawyer. You did ask your wife’s lawyer if you still get to see your son under this document. He assures you that you do. What he doesn’t tell you is that the visitation you receive is minimal. The child support you pay is maximal. Overall, it’s a bad deal for you and your son. Not pursuing an attorney and understanding your rights put you in this situation.
Older people need to watch out for these dirty tricks
Lest any of you in your Golden years think that these dirty tricks are reserved for young parents, think again. You are just as susceptible to a dirty trick as a younger person would be. In many ways, the stakes are even higher for you than they are for a young person. While you don’t have minor children to concern yourself with you do have financial concerns. Entering your golden years means retirement is right around the corner.
What does this mean? Suppose that your husband has convinced you that a fair divorce means allowing you to keep the house while he keeps his retirement savings. You reckon that the value of the house is the same as the value of the retirement savings. As such, you readily agree. No use pushing for an unfair outcome in the divorce when you can simply agree to exchange two assets of similar value.
Well, not so much. Your house is worth $750,000. Your husband’s 401K is worth $750,000. It seemed like a fair offer, so you take it. The divorce papers are signed. You move on to your post-divorce life. However, it’s then you find out that your house isn’t worth much to you at that moment other than shelter. All that equity in the home can only be tapped into when you sell the house. Your husband has liquid cash and a good income. In a year or so he has the down payment for a new house and all his retirement.
Do not look for the easy way out of a divorce
Many of you reading this blog post have a simple goal for your case: get it done quickly. You don’t like fighting and you don’t like the idea of having to go through any more pain in the divorce than is necessary. So, you talk to your spouse before the case begins and gauge her interest in doing the same. When she agrees to a simple divorce you think you’ve struck gold. No worries about a long and drawn-out divorce, right?
That is where you are wrong. The divorce case is shorter in these cases but the involvement of your family with the courts is just beginning. Once your divorce is done you are not going to be satisfied with the results. Looking around at your options you realize that a modification is your only route to take. Modifying a court order helps you potentially but it costs you time and money.
Take the time necessary to obtain the outcome you want in the divorce. Do not assume that the divorce is eligible for a modification down the road. This is not always true. For instance, property division in a divorce is typically not eligible for a modification. Even child custody issues are difficult to approach in a modification. All in all, you need to assume that the best chance of getting the orders you want is in the divorce itself.
Have goals in a divorce and avoid dirty tricks
Much of the time in a divorce the reason why spouses fall for dirty tricks is out of desperation or greed. Think about a similar situation that takes place in everyday life. When you see an offer online that is too good to be true many times, we still take it. Why do you think this is? Think about a hotel room that is severely discounted. In many situations, this would cause us to think something is wrong. However, if we are desperate or greedy, we will take that deal without thinking twice.
Fast forward to when you get into the hotel room. The odds are good that you will see exactly why that hotel room was so severely discounted. The hotel is under renovation and still has dust in the rooms. The deal is only good for days that you would prefer not to travel period whatever the issue is there are always strings attached to things that seem like a deal too good to pass up. There is no exception to this in a divorce.
How can you avoid falling for one of these dirty tricks? The simplest answer is to have goals for your case. Having a goal for your case means that you are mission-focused and not as susceptible to getting sidetracked. A divorce is an easy place to become distracted and lose focus. When that happens, you are more likely to fall for a dirty trick like an amicable divorce.
Don’t have any goals for your divorce? Contact an experienced family law attorney
The best way for you to develop goals for your divorce would be to contact an experienced family law attorney. Those with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are ready and willing to help you achieve whatever goals in your case you have set out for yourself. You do not need to worry about not having goals for your case when working with one of our lawyers. We will communicate with you and help you to think about what is most important to you in your case.
From there, we can work with you on setting up practical ways for you to achieve that goal. We understand that your life is different than anyone else’s who goes through a divorce. For that reason, we tailor our goals to the specifications and situations you are facing. There is no cookie-cutter divorce case when you work with our office.
Interested in finding out more about our attorneys and how the Law Office of Bryan Fagan can serve you? Contact our office today for a free-of-charge consultation. These consultations require no commitment from you and may allow you to develop a rapport and relationship with an attorney from our office.
Achieving an amicable and fair divorce
As we have already seen in today’s blog post, an amicable divorce does not necessarily mean one that is fair or favorable to you. It is easy to be taken advantage of in a divorce setting when your spouse promises you an amicable divorce and then pulls the rug out from underneath you. How do you achieve a fair result while keeping an eye on being civil with your spouse? This is not always easy to achieve but is worth it in the end.
Being too eager to accept bad terms in a settlement almost always results in a bad offer or outcome in the case. Just when you are desperate enough to accept the terms of a seemingly amicable divorce you should look hard at the terms that you are agreeing to. Many times, you will find that your spouse has taken advantage of you. Your willingness to trade a fair divorce for a short divorce is your undoing.
Rather than accepting unfair terms just to shorten the case you need to understand that there is no such thing as a free lunch when it comes to a divorce case. Almost always, there are consequences to speeding through a divorce. This is avoided by reading any document put in front of you before signing it. By reading a document first, you have an opportunity to ask questions and check the motives of your spouse.
Flexible attorney-client relations
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan want you to know that our office offers multiple different arrangements for representation. The traditional means of representing a client in a divorce are to help a client draft initial paperwork and then proceed to the temporary orders mediation period from there, you are attorney will help you focus your goals and fine-tune them before a final orders mediation and trial.
However, this is not the only way for you to achieve an amicable and fair result in your divorce case. Rather, our attorneys work with you in specific situations at your discretion. For example, our office can represent you in a single hearing. We would prepare with you for a temporary orders hearing and then attend the hearing with you period from there, you can choose to represent yourself moving forward.
One of the most convenient and sensible ways for our attorneys to represent you is when it comes to reviewing temporary orders and final orders in a divorce. All the negative experiences that we laid out in a hypothetical sense at the beginning of this blog post are avoided when you have a thorough understanding of your court orders. The people in our examples above did not read their orders well enough.
By hiring our attorneys in a limited scope arrangement, we provide you with protection from a mischievous spouse and do not break your bank account in the process. Think about these options and determine which suits you best. You have the power to make wise decisions for yourself, especially with the help of an experienced family law attorney.
Final thoughts on avoiding dirty tricks in a divorce
Being aware of your circumstances and surroundings is important in life. It is also important in your divorce. The more knowledge you possess about the circumstances of your divorce the less likely you are to be taken advantage of. Remember to maintain composure and be willing to have patience. Getting greedy or getting anxious about completing your case leads oftentimes to disaster. Keeping your cool and maintaining your composure is a path toward success.
When it comes to avoiding common mistakes in a divorce there is no better route for you to take than to work alongside an attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We serve clients at the negotiation table and in courtrooms across the state of Texas. We treat all our clients with respect and care for them and their families as we would our own. Thank you for choosing to spend time with us today and we hope you join us again on our blog tomorrow.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. Interested in learning more about how your family is impacted by the material in this blog post? Contact us today.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
