Coming off of an emotionally intense and taxing divorce, your first instinct may be to retreat into your thoughts and have some "me" time without interference from others. Who can blame you? For your entire divorce, you likely had friends, family, and your attorney constantly in your ear, providing you with both solicited and unsolicited advice about a wide range of topics.
Now that the divorce is over, you want nothing more than to parent your children and forget about the divorce as quickly as possible. Today's blog post from the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, will hopefully provide you with some counterpoints to consider on this subject.
Dealing with the emotions of divorce
Like any other important event, a divorce requires you to expend some degree of emotional energy. In some instances, your divorce could have been more or less a business transaction.
Both you and your spouse agreed that it was in the best interests of each of you to move towards separation and that getting it done and over with was necessary. If you all have children, splitting their time between the two of you may have been challenging but if the marriage wasn't working, then exposing the kids to that situation was not ideal either.
On the other hand, your divorce could have been one where a long and sometimes fruitful marriage came to a crashing stop. Maybe one of you didn't even want the divorce, and there were overtures during the divorce to attempt to attend marriage counseling.
For whatever reason, your marriage stopped working, and the divorce came about due to that. However, it was not an easy decision to go to, and the divorce was painful.
When you find yourself finally on the outside looking back in on a divorce that was recently resolved, a healthy step to take is to examine the feelings and emotions you've felt as being accurate, justified, and substantially crucial to your being able to succeed in life after your divorce.
I can almost guarantee that your divorce attorney did not talk to you much about emotions, feelings, and things of that nature during the divorce. The fact of the matter is that there are so many circumstances at play during a divorce that how you feel about a particular issue is something discussed much. This can lead to your inability or unwillingness to do so after a divorce.
Post-divorce counseling as a springboard into life as a single adult and parent
Nobody would argue that your life can be just as happy, fruitful, and meaningful as a divorced person as a married person. It could have been that your marriage was the number one factor that held you back from being the person or parent that you could have been. However, understanding this may be difficult considering the many emotions you have to sort through now in the immediate aftermath of your divorce.
A post-divorce counselor is the sort of person who is well equipped to speak into your life and help you do some of the sortings out that we just discussed as being so important.
You made an important decision to get a divorce and follow through with the process as well as you could. Now you have the opportunity to continue to make positive steps in your life by seeking post-divorce counseling. Not getting side-tracked and focusing on what you need to do to improve yourself is exactly what post-divorce counselors do in their jobs.
How do you feel about your recently ended marriage?
Divorce was not the desired end for your marriage when it began. Of that, I am pretty sure. The change in course in your life's trajectory certainly justifies your wanting to reach out and talk to someone about your marriage, your family, the divorce, and where you can go from here to ensure the mistakes made do not happen again.
Speaking to someone about your feelings can help you identify what you need to do to improve yourself and work on being the sort of person and parent you need to be now that you are divorced. If there are aspects to your life that you lost as a married person that you now want to rediscover, a post-divorce counselor can help you work on this.
For instance, did your divorce see you making changes to yourself intended to benefit your spouse more than you? Do you have interests or ideas that your spouse did not support? Talk to your counselor about those subjects and create a roadmap to achieving whatever personal or professional goals you believe are essential.
Children and divorce
If your children are experiencing hurt feelings or confusion surrounding their lives after you and your spouse divorce, then you may be asking yourself how you can help them.
Problems in school, failing to listen to instructions at home, or unexplained outbursts of emotion can all be telltale signs of the inability of children to transition well to a divorced family dynamic.
Children can attend post-divorce therapy sessions that can help them deal with their own emotions and assist in transitioning into a post-divorce family. Their lives, like yours, will never be the same again. However, this doesn't mean that they can't adapt and thrive in a new situation.
Questions about divorce and life after that? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC
Experience, accountability, and advocacy. That is what you get with an attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC. If you are considering a divorce, please contact our office today.
A licensed family law attorney from our office can meet with you six days a week to discuss any questions you may have and to walk with you through the divorce process. A consultation is always free of charge and can help provide you with peace of mind when you may feel like your world is turning upside down.
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's essential to speak with one of our Houston, TX, Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston, TX, are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, Houston, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County, and Waller County.
