Writing about how to behave in family court may feel awkward, but it’s an important aspect to address. As a family law attorney, my focus is to provide valuable insights into family law, divorce proceedings, and court etiquette in southeast Texas. While I can’t delve into personal details or dictate your actions, offering guidance on courtroom behavior can empower you to navigate the legal process effectively and with respect.
Today I’m going to venture into the weird. How you act has consequences. You probably have already figured that out. It’s something that your parents likely have told you and that you have told your own children. We emphasize this with our kids day in and day out in hopes that they learn how to conduct themselves as an individual and as part of a community. We want our neighbors to be people who care for their families, work, pay taxes and generally make positive contributions to their surroundings.
Today’s blog post topic will primarily center on how to act when you are in court. I hope that most of what I have written about today is familiar to you. If you are learning something new then I hope that what I am about to tell you can positively impact your experience within your divorce case but also help you in your day to day life. Make no mistake- a courthouse is not like most places that you visit on a daily basis and there are specific ways that you should and should not act.
Be on time- above all else
Most courts in and around Harris County start their dockets at 9:00 a.m., with punctuality varying among judges. You must not arrive late to your hearing, as it is unfair to your attorney, your spouse, and others in the courtroom. Instead of being tardy, aim to arrive 20 minutes early. Utilize your smartphone or engage in other activities while waiting. To attend a hearing doesn’t guarantee appearing before the judge. Attorneys negotiate extensively before hearings, requiring your presence for approval. Being punctual is crucial; tardiness disrupts negotiations and jeopardizes settlement chances.
The next thing you need to think about in terms of your ability to arrive on time is that if you arrive late and the judge has placed other hearings in front of yours it can happen that the judge does not reach you and your spouse that day. This means your hearing will need to be re-set to a different day where hopefully you all will have your case heard. You will need to then take another day off from work and have to explain to your boss that you will be out of the office again. You could have avoided this by waking up earlier or taking whatever steps necessary to arrive on time.
Finally, your attorney will likely want to spend some time with you going over any last minute details with you in regard to your hearing prior to the process actually starting. If you haven’t prepared for your hearing with your attorney beforehand, the time before your hearing begins offers a final opportunity to do so. Don’t leave your attorney sitting alone outside the courtroom waiting for you to arrive.
Dress for success
You don’t need a new wardrobe for court; it’s not a fashion show. However, dressing appropriately is essential. You should reflect the demeanor of someone appearing before a judge. Regardless of budget, dressing professionally is achievable for most.
For men, jeans or slacks are fine with a tucked in shirt. There is no need to wear a suit but that wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world if you own one. Again- do not go out and buy anything unless you have absolutely no pants or collared shirts to wear. Even then, nobody is asking you to dress like a lawyer. Consider that your attire and appearance can influence how others perceive you. Your judge will be judging you in part by how you conduct and present yourself.
For women, wearing dresses and skirts are fine but remember that you are not going out for a night on the town in that dress. Keep the more “fun” outfits at home for evenings out. Skirts should not be more than an inch or so above your knees and heels should be moderately high at the most. Wearing super high heels, short skirts and the like can be distracting to a judge- male or female. From my experience it is women’s fashion choices that catch the eye of people in court more-so than men. While this may be desirable outside of court, it is not what you are going for as a litigant. Dress like you are headed to a job interview or church.
What to do when on the witness stand
If your case actually makes it to a hearing you will be expected to testify in most situations. This not anything to lose sleep over but it is important that you know how to act and what to do if this should happen. First of all, don’t think of this as a public speaking exhibition. It is true that you are in public and will be speaking but the courtroom will not be hanging on your every word. Anyone besides you, your spouse, your attorneys and the judge will not be paying all that close of attention. Hopefully this will make you feel a little more at ease when it comes to having to testify.
Next, when you are being asked a question by either attorney you should speak up and be clear in your response. We have a tendency to speed up our speech when we are nervous and do not generally have to raise our voice above a conversational level when talking. The judge will appreciate your being loud and clear enough in your responses. It is frustrating to have to remind a witness to speak up and slow down after each of their answers.
Answering questions is a process
Before you answer a question from either attorney you should stop and think a few thoughts in the seconds immediately following the question. It’s important to wait for the attorney to finish asking their question before jumping in to give a response, even if you already know the question. I know this is something that we commonly do in our day to day lives but it is not something you should do in court. Constantly interrupting the the attorney when asking questions makes it difficult for the judge and the court reporter to hear both you and the attorney.
Make sure you understand the question
After the attorney has finished their question I will advise clients to do the following in their heads before opening their mouths. First of all, you need to actually understand the question that is being asked of you. Believe it or not attorneys will ask bad questions that are non-sensical, rambling or just not very coherent. You are not expected to make sense of our ramblings. Feel free to request clarification or ask for a question to be rephrased when speaking with an attorney, whether it’s your own legal counsel or your spouse’s. There’s no implication of incompetence; it’s a common occurrence and completely acceptable. Don’t be bashful- speak up and ask the lawyer to rephrase their question if you are in doubt.
Consider whether you actually know the answer
Next, once you believe that you understand that question that is being asked I would recommend that you consider whether or not you know the answer to the question. This is sort of a silly thing to type but stick with me. A lot of times when we are asked a question that we are not completely sure of the correct response we will say something nonetheless. Essentially, our response could boil down to- Yea, I’m not exactly sure but I think that…This is the way we would answer a friend or co-worker if asked a question in casual conservation that we were not entirely sure of the correct response.
This is not a good strategy in court. Answering a question just because you believe that it will make you look silly if you do not provide a response is a bad plan. Remember that you have taken an oath to tell the truth. If you doubt the truthfulness of an answer, refrain from responding. Your guess at an answer will impact the judge’s perception of your case and hold you accountable for its accuracy. If it seems like you are not sure of anything that you are saying your credibility will diminish with the judge.
Guessing is not advisable
The other side of the coin on this subject is that if you are not sure of the answer to a question it is perfectly ok for you to say that you don’t know the answer or are not sure. Speculating is not a good idea, and can cause your opposing attorney to object to your response as being speculation. The judge wants you to testify to things that you have actual knowledge about. Guessing wildly will not serve any positive purpose for you or your case. Keep in mind that you and your attorney aim to present evidence to the judge, enabling them to make rulings in your favor on contested issues. Don’t give the judge any reason to second guess your credibility.
Conclusion
While discussing how to behave in family court may feel uncomfortable, it’s a crucial aspect of navigating the legal system effectively. As a family law attorney, my aim is to provide practical advice and insights into courtroom etiquette to empower individuals facing family law matters. While I cannot dictate personal behavior or peer into individual lives, offering guidance on courtroom conduct can help ensure a smoother legal process for all parties involved. By understanding the importance of respectful behavior and adhering to courtroom protocols, individuals can better advocate for their rights and interests in family court proceedings.
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The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it’s important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
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Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
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