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One of the fastest-growing areas of focus in family law is common misconceptions about father’s rights. While the Texas Family Code does not contain a section devoted solely to fathers, the issue arises in cases involving custody, visitation, and parental involvement. Fathers in Texas hold the same legal rights as mothers, yet many people mistakenly believe that courts automatically favor mothers. These misconceptions often create frustration and confusion, leaving fathers feeling disadvantaged in custody disputes. Dispelling these myths is essential to understanding that Texas law is designed to protect the best interests of the child, not to exclude fathers from their children’s lives.
This is curious because, looking through the Texas family code, you will not see that the law treats mothers and fathers differently. Mothers and fathers have equal rights about their children regarding conservatorships rights, Visitation privileges, and everything in between. The law treats men and women the same when it comes to parenting. Family court judges apply the same standards to mothers and fathers who appear equally situated in their courtrooms. In practice, though, many fathers believe courts do not deal with them fairly.
The perception of fairness in Texas family courts continues to concern many fathers
The perception of fairness in Texas family courts troubles many fathers. That fact does not rest on my opinion alone. Search the term “father’s rights” online and you will find thousands of websites about the subject. You will also see countless attorneys marketing themselves as defenders of fathers in family law cases. Our law practice does not limit itself to representing men or fathers in child custody or divorce disputes. Still, we recognize and empathize with the fathers and men who question whether they can receive a fair hearing in a Southeast Texas courtroom.
As long as many fathers believe courts fail to protect their rights, the Texas family court system will carry a perception problem. Some of these issues trace back to earlier decades when men often faced discrimination in family court. In other cases, men hold these beliefs because they place themselves in situations that make it harder to compare their circumstances to those of their wives or partners.
Does the law favor mothers over fathers in Texas family cases?
The short answer to the above question is no. Texas family law does not overtly favor men over women or mothers over fathers. The law is gender-neutral and does not maintain that fathers have certain rights while mothers have others. Rather, the law treats men and women the same regarding Family law cases in Texas. This may be music to your ears, given your concerns over what the law says regarding your rights as a father. I have had more than one father approach me about their circumstances with a strong position that he believes that the law says things about mothers and fathers that it does not.
Once you, as a father, find yourself involved in a Texas family law case, then it is up to you to approach the case from the perspective of your rights and duties as a parent. Before a family court becomes involved in your case, you and your child’s mother on the same rights and duties about that child, even if you have not seen your child in many years for one reason or another, then you should still know that a family court would seek to uphold the same rights and privileges for both you and your child’s mother. The law does not state that fathers can do certain things and mothers can do certain other things.
Your unique circumstances and parenting history play a major role in custody decisions
The law does not account for your particular circumstances. In any family law case, the facts and circumstances of your life matter as much as the law itself. A family court judge will not completely ignore lies about your circumstances. Still, family court judges allow your specific situation to influence decisions about custody, child support, conservatorships, and visitation rights. Judges in family court also make decisions based on their own experience.
You face two important realities as you begin your family law case in Texas. First, your history as a parent carries weight in decisions about conservatorships and visitation. If you acted as an absentee parent for many years, that history will reduce your chances of becoming a primary conservator or sharing equal visitation with your children compared to your spouse. Courts give an active and involved father the same right to ask for primary parenting responsibilities as an active and involved mother.
Family court judges may carry reputations and biases that affect cases
Family court judges hold reputations and biases that affect cases. You will face assignment to a family court judge who has a reputation of some kind. Judges build reputations for a reason. In my experience, judges I worked with in the past treated people fairly and acted with care in court. That fact does not prevent your judge from holding biases that remain harder to shake. Certain judges carry reputations for favouring mothers or fathers. That reality influences outcomes.
A family court judge will not tell you that you cannot be named the primary conservator because you are a father. However, judges will apply the law, their experiences, and their biases when awarding rights and duties in a hearing or trial. Judges remain human and sometimes make decisions that lack complete rationality or fact-based reasoning. You can best improve your chances by acting as the best parent possible in the circumstances you face.
Don’t put yourself in a position, or the case is left up to a judge.
I’m not a huge boxing fan, but I know how a fighter can win a particular match. A boxer typically wins a fight in one of two ways: a knockout or a judge’s decision. A knockout is pretty straightforward. From the fighter pummeling their opponent to the point where the referee calls the match because the dazed and confused opponent cannot continue, it is clear who the winner is. If you are the fighter in that situation, you have not left it up to any doubt, and you walk away with a 1 sided in clear victory.
A fighter can also win when the match stays close and judges decide who landed better punches over time. In a ten-round boxing match, judges count how many solid punches each fighter lands. Each judge totals the punches, and the fighter with the higher number receives the win.
Think of custody and divorce cases like a boxing match for fathers’ rights
What does this boxing analogy have to do with family law? Well, I think it has a great deal to do with the area of fathers’ rights in particular. You can think about a child custody or divorce case as a boxing match. Both you and your child’s mother will be duking it out, metaphorically speaking, to win as many rights and duties about your child as possible. If you compete to determine who is best suited to parent your child on a more frequent basis, you will want to put yourself in a position where you can make arguments to show that you are an active and involved parent.
If you do such a stupendous job of showing your wife that you are an active and involved father, it is more likely that you can negotiate strong rights and duties as well as a great deal of Visitation time with your children. The reason why this is so is that your spouse understands that not negotiating with you means risking losing even more in terms of rights and duties in court during a hearing or trial. Therefore, you are not leaving it up to the judge but rather landing solid punches throughout your fight that allow you to win on your own merits.
Judges see through last-minute parenting efforts in custody cases
On the other hand, if you are more inclined to leave the case up to the judge, you may be in for a world of hurt. Not only will your case last longer, allowing more time for conflicts to arise, but you also risk losing the fight. The reason is that a family court judge only has the opportunity to learn a little bit about you and a little bit about your spouse. For that reason, you leave it up to chance what the judge will learn and how the judge will rule in your favor.
If you are a dad who is not interested in raising your children to the point where you get a divorce, then don’t expect a few weeks or months of involved parenting to override you are prior few years of shoddy parenting. A judge will see through the veneer of involved parenting; it will likely see that your acting as an involved parent is more or less an act. This is not a winning combination or one that will see a great return on investment.
What can you do to prepare for a Texas family law case?
If you are a father reading this blog post, you should take heart because there is plenty you can do to prepare for your family law case before it begins. For starters, you can and should spend as much time with your children as possible. Not only are you doing so in the best interest of your children, but it is also in the best interest of your case. Doing things like learning the names of your children’s friends, attending parent-teacher conferences, and making yourself available for other activities with the kids is always a good idea.
Building or repairing trust with your co-parent can strengthen custody negotiations
Next, you should begin to build or repair any broken bridges with your spouse or Co-parent. I know many people feel like once a family case begins, there is no opportunity for compromise or negotiation. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The family law case offers plenty of opportunities for mothers and fathers to negotiate on issues that relate to child custody. However, negotiation and compromise are typically best achieved when parents have a working relationship. Otherwise, your attempts to work with your Co-parent may fall upon deaf ears.
Even if your spouse or Co-parent does not necessarily like you at this time or approve of how you’ve acted in some regard, she will likely concede that you have the best interests of your kids in mind when you truly do. I have worked with plenty of mothers who have told me that they cannot stand their spouse but understand that he loves the children, and it wouldn’t do anything to hurt them. If you can at least get your relationship to this point, you have a chance to negotiate for the positions you want regarding your children. If your spouse or Co-parent doesn’t like you and doesn’t think your children benefit from seeing you, then you are in a difficult position as far as negotiation is concerned.
Create a clear plan and goals to strengthen your child custody or divorce case
Next, you can prepare for your child custody or divorce case by creating a plan of attack and goals to be achieved in your case. It is not enough to wander into a child custody or divorce case. Once there, you need to act intentionally, and you can only do so when you have a clear-cut plan and mission in mind. For instance, if you want to be named the primary conservator of your children, you need to be able to defend your position. Why are you better suited to be the primary conservator of your children and then your spouse? If you can’t defend your thoughts to yourself, how do you expect to defend them in front of a judge?
Finally, having the right advocate by your side is crucial when handling a divorce or child custody case, especially for fathers facing common misconceptions about father’s rights. While the law does not require you to hire an attorney, working with one can provide valuable guidance and protection. Fathers often benefit from the perspective and strategy an attorney brings, ensuring their rights are fully recognized in court. If your spouse has legal representation, it becomes even more important to have a lawyer of your own. Hiring an attorney doesn’t mean your case will turn hostile or drag on—it simply ensures you have the support you need to safeguard your role as a parent.
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If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “Father’s Rights E-Book”
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