How Do I Know if I鈥檓 Ready for a Divorce?

The question of whether or not you are ready for divorce is an incredible fact-specific that I cannot answer in today鈥檚 blog post. I hate to let you down this early in the blog. Still, your life is unique to you and your spouse, and we need to know something about the circumstances in your life and the problems you are experiencing before I can give you an opinion on you and your family and your options moving forward. This doesn鈥檛 mean that you can鈥檛 get any perspective on your life but trying to learn from this blog post what you should do about your specific circumstances may be a mistake.

On the other hand, what would not be a mistake is to contact one of the attorneys with our law office to set up a free-of-charge consultation. A consultation with an attorney doesn鈥檛 commit you to representation, but it does involve seeking insights into your life and Texas family law.聽An attorney cannot only listen to your circumstances and give you perspective on what You are facing but can also provide you with more detail about the world of Texas family law and what you are likely to encounter as far as the divorce process in Texas is concerned. For many people who have little knowledge about divorce or have great concerns about what divorce means to their family, this consultation can be superb from a state of mind perspective.

Choosing the Right Divorce Attorney: Why Consultation Matters

Consultation with an attorney does not commit you to anything other than spending some time with a lawyer who has specific knowledge about the law and can apply that knowledge to your life in circumstances. What I recommend to people who are exploring their options when it comes to divorce is to meet with a handful of attorneys and not only gain their perspective but to determine whether or not that attorney is a good match for you and your family, both from a personality standpoint as well as from a price standpoint. Keep in mind different attorneys bring different qualities and levels of experience to the table in a divorce. You should select the attorney who represents unit divorce based not only on whether you feel comfortable with that attorney representing you but also on their level of experience and their vision for your case.

Suppose you have never met with an attorney or gone over your case with anyone before; I understand why this isn鈥檛 very comforting. Sharing information about your family and expecting that person to give you an honest assessment of those circumstances can be intimidating. As a pretty private person, I know that it is not always easy for me to open up to other people, especially when it comes to subject matter where I may be having to give information about things that are not all that pleasant about myself or my family. Sharing this information with someone you trust in an informal setting is preferable to entering a divorce without having done so before, as this information will likely emerge during the divorce proceedings.

Realistic Expectations in Divorce Proceedings

The other thing to keep in mind about consultations with attorneys is that the attorney will have likely heard similar information from other people many, many times before. You should expect that the attorney will have some degree of experience dealing with your problems before with other families and would therefore be able to provide you with real-world and practical advice on how you could proceed with your divorce. Do not expect the attorney to map out your entire divorce for you in consultation. Still, you should expect that attorney to be able to provide you with some detail about how your case may go and what issues you may experience in the case itself.

This is the beauty of consulting with a family law attorney before the beginning of your case. You don鈥檛 need to speculate about potential outcomes or how specific issues might be handled legally or in negotiations.聽All you need to do is seek the advice and perspective of licensed attorneys, and you can learn much more about the circumstances you are facing. If you鈥檙e unsure about proceeding with divorce, consulting a family law attorney should be your first step to determine whether to move forward.

A divorce is not an immediate end to your marriage.

Some of you reading today鈥檚 blog posts are fed up with your marriage and just wanted to come to a close. If you have suffered from an unhappy relationship for some time, it would be understandable to want some closure in your relationship. Given your strong desire to end the marriage, you must understand that a divorce will not immediately do so. Instead, a divorce becomes official at the end of the case when the judge signs off on the final divorce decree, involving all parties, not at the beginning when the divorce is first filed.

The 60-Day Waiting Period

A divorce in Texas takes at least 60 days from start to finish. After filing for divorce, you鈥檒l encounter a 60-day waiting period before finalization. Hence, anticipate remaining legally married for a bit longer post-filing.聽This is not a huge deal for most people, but for some of you who want an immediate emotional release from the marriage, it will be important to know that this will not occur.

Some of you may be wondering why there is this requirement for a divorce to take at least 60 days. After all, if you can buy or sell a house in 60 days or purchase a firearm in a fraction of that time, why should it take 60 days to get a divorce? In general, Texas aims to avoid facilitating quick or easy divorces.聽Rather, it wants to offer at least a 60-day waiting period where you and your spouse would be able to contemplate whether or not a divorce was right for you and to seek other options as far as trying to salvage your marriage.

Communication and Counseling Before Divorce

If you are in this boat and want to attempt to salvage your marriage, then you should speak to your spouse and attempt to have a conversation about the issues that are ongoing in your relationship. You may find that you cannot work your way out of the funk in your marriage, but other times, You may be able to work yourself into a situation where counseling or therapy is undertaken. A concerted attempt to save your marriage is made. The last thing you want to do is move quickly towards a divorce and never truly make an honest effort to salvage your relationship.

I have worked with couples who have moved to file for divorce and then have stopped the process midway or partway to reconciling their relationship. There haven鈥檛 been many people I鈥檝e done this in my experience, but there are some. The biggest thing preventing people from doing so is that once you start a process, it is hard to change course midway and turn back towards reconciliation. Once the paperwork has been filed, attorneys have been hired, in a conversation has been had with your children, it can take a great deal of mental and emotional muscle to determine that ship around. If you think this describes your family, then you should consider your options before filing for divorce.

Preparing for divorce means setting yourself up for success.

You鈥檝e probably heard the expression before: those who fail to prepare are preparing to fail. I think that saying is especially applicable to divorces. If you go into a divorce with no plan and no objectives in mind, then you will suffer the consequences as a result. For the most part, based on my experiences, the vast majority of people who file for divorce do so out of a desire to end their marriage, but there is very little planning that goes into the process. Most folks file for divorce out of frustration or anger or any range of emotions in between. It is usually very little in the concrete goals that people have at the beginning of a divorce. I think this is a mistake and would be one that you should try to avoid at all costs.

Importance of Attorney Guidance

Goal setting for divorce is difficult. For one, you likely don鈥檛 know much about the specifics of goal setting in a divorce or what is an appropriate conversation to have regarding that subject. You know, generally speaking, how people get divorced but don鈥檛 know much about what a divorce actually entails. That鈥檚 OK: it鈥檚 not as if this is something that you work in or around every day of your life like an attorney would. That is why you need to think hard about your circumstances and then work with an attorney who can advise you on goal setting and strategy.

The first step I would take towards filing for divorce would be to meet with multiple attorneys and talk through strategy with them. Once you have learned a little bit more about family law in Texas and discuss your specific circumstances with an attorney, that lawyer can provide you with general information that you can utilize to guide yourself and your family when it comes time to hire an attorney you will have hopefully met with multiple lawyers who would have allowed you to learn not only information about the law but information about attorneys in this field and how we work and serve clients. Once you have an attorney you feel comfortable with, trust, and can afford, you should select them and begin filing for divorce.

Understanding Your Role in Divorce Preparation

Hiring an experienced family law attorney is the first step in the process, but it is far from the last step in preparation for your case. It is important to understand that an attorney does not do the work for you but rather helps and guides you to perform the major steps in your case. An attorney will file documents and negotiate on your behalf with the opposing attorney, but your attorney will not make decisions for you; it is not responsible for the end of your case. That all falls on your shoulders. It is up to you to learn from your attorney and to ask questions along the way.

Don鈥檛 simply decide within a case because the attorney tells you it is right. Rather, do your best to ask questions and learn about the divorce process. If you are being advised to ask for something when dividing up Community property, you should understand why the attorney is advising this and what benefit it can have on your family. Think of it as making investments for your retirement. You wouldn鈥檛 invest in something just because another person told you to without having any knowledge of that specific investment, would you?

The Importance of Clear Communication and Objectivity

Your attorney has a great deal of knowledge, and you should start the relationship out on the right foot by asking questions and hearing their responses. Listen to what your attorney says and understand that the lawyer is giving you dispassionate and objective advice. That is why you hired the attorney in the 1st place. You don鈥檛 need another emotional and involved person to be in your corner. You have all of those requirements taken care of in about yourself. Rather, it is important for you to be guided by someone who is not emotionally invested in your case and so that they can offer you the sort of advice with a clear head that you need.

You can begin to help your attorney and their staff by collecting documents and organizing them later in your case. In the divorce process, there is a step called discovery for both you and your spouse will likely request documents, information, and answers to simple questions that will help each of you to learn a little bit more about the other鈥檚 case. You can either take the time before your case begins to collect these sorts of documents, or you can do so during your case. Doing so during the case will not only take up time but will likely cost you money in that your attorney鈥檚 staff may need to help you organize and collect the documents. Why not spend your own time doing so? And you will save both time and money during your case.

Gathering Essential Documents for Divorce

What sort of documents should you begin to collect? It is typically financial documents that are most important to collect during the beginning stages of a divorce. For instance, if you have retirement statements, investment statements, bank account information, or other documents that may be part of your Community property division, then you should begin to collect those. Even if these documents are not up to date by the time you attend mediation, you can give your attorney some idea of what is going on, and you can remind yourself where to find them in the future if need be.

Many times you will not always have access to these documents. You may know exactly in what file cabinet or in what closet you and your spouse keep these sorts of documents, but it may come a time when you have to move out of your house and no longer have access to them. You should collect the documents now and assume that you will lose access to them at some point.

The same can be said for items in your home that do not document yet are still important. Take 10 minutes out of your day to walk through each room in your house and take photos of your closets, bedrooms, dresser drawers, kitchen, garage, and any other items that you believe may be at issue in your case. Do it now, and you will save yourself a lot of heartaches if these items were to 鈥渨alk away鈥 at some point in your case.

Questions about the material contained in today鈥檚 waffles? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

If you have any questions about the material contained in our blog post today, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultation six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law and how divorce laws in Texas will impact your circumstances. I appreciate your interest in our office, and we hope you will join us tomorrow as we continue to share unique content about the world of Texas family law.

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Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it鈥檚 important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.

A divorce lawyer in Spring TX is skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Spring, Texas, Cypress, Spring, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, Houston, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County, and Waller County.


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