Skip to content 
What counts as domestic violence isn’t limited to physical abuse. It often begins with subtle forms of control—dictating who you can see, monitoring your movements, or gradually undermining your self-worth. These behaviors can intensify over time, turning into more overt and dangerous abuse. Many survivors don’t realize they’re in an abusive relationship until they feel trapped. Recognizing what counts as domestic violence is crucial to identifying red flags early and taking steps to protect yourself before the situation worsens.
What Counts as Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence includes physical harm, but it’s not limited to hitting or slapping. It also involves emotional, psychological, financial, and sexual abuse. The goal of the abuser is to control the other person’s actions, thoughts, and decisions.
Types of Abuse
Physical abuse involves hitting, pushing, choking, or using weapons.
Emotional abuse includes insults, threats, manipulation, or isolation.
Financial abuse happens when someone controls another’s access to money, jobs, or resources.
Sexual abuse includes forced sexual contact or behavior that makes a partner feel unsafe or ashamed.
Technological abuse involves stalking or harassing someone through phones, emails, or social media.
Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore
People often miss early warning signs or make excuses for their partner’s behavior. Watch for these red flags:
- Constant criticism or put-downs
- Attempts to control your appearance, schedule, or relationships
- Sudden anger or mood swings
- Monitoring your calls, messages, or social media
- Jealousy or possessiveness
- Pressuring you into unwanted actions
Abuse doesn’t always start as physical violence. Many survivors say emotional abuse happened long before things became physically dangerous.
Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships
It’s easy to ask, “Why don’t they just leave?” But the truth is, leaving is often the most dangerous time. Survivors may stay because:
- They fear the abuser will harm them or their children
- They depend on the abuser for financial support
- They worry no one will believe them
- They hope the abuser will change
- They feel ashamed or blame themselves
- They lack support or don’t know where to turn
Judging someone for staying doesn’t help. Offering support without pressure can make a bigger difference.
How to Stay Safe Right Now
If you’re in an abusive situation, your safety comes first. Start building a plan even if you don’t plan to leave yet.
Create a Safety Plan
A safety plan prepares you for the moments when danger becomes immediate.
- Identify safe rooms in your home where there are exits and no weapons
- Keep your phone charged and accessible
- Share a code word with someone you trust
- Pack a go-bag with cash, keys, documents, and a change of clothes
- Store important phone numbers and addresses somewhere easy to reach
- Plan where you can go—shelters, a friend’s house, or a public place
Protect Digital Privacy
Abusers often track phone or online activity. Take steps to stay secure:
- Use a safe device that your abuser doesn’t control
- Clear your browser history and log out of shared accounts
- Set up a private email
- Avoid discussing plans over shared devices
In an Emergency
If someone threatens your life or safety, call 911 or your local emergency number. Law enforcement can remove the abuser and help you reach shelter services.
Legal Protection Options
You can ask the court for a protection order. This keeps the abuser away from you, your children, and your home. Courts can also order the abuser to stop contact, turn over weapons, or leave shared housing.
What to Know About Protection Orders
- You don’t need a lawyer to file one, but legal help can guide you
- You can often file without the abuser being present
- Violating a protection order can lead to arrest
- Keep a copy with you at all times
Some states offer emergency orders even on weekends or outside regular hours.
Supporting Someone You Know
If someone close to you is experiencing abuse, your support matters. Many survivors say a friend’s concern helped them take the first step.
How to Help
- Listen without judgment
- Don’t pressure them to leave
- Help them find resources
- Offer to go with them to appointments
- Believe them
Avoid saying things like “just leave” or “I would never let that happen.” This can make them feel isolated or ashamed.
Where to Find Help
You don’t have to handle this alone. Many organizations can provide shelter, counseling, legal help, and support.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call 800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788
Available 24/7 and confidential
Local Shelters and Advocacy Groups
Many cities have women’s shelters and crisis centers. They offer temporary housing, protection, and help navigating the legal system.
Counseling Services
Therapists and support groups can help you work through trauma, rebuild confidence, and plan your next steps.
What Happens After You Leave
Survivors often face a long road to recovery. Some face housing struggles, financial setbacks, or emotional trauma. But leaving gives you the chance to rebuild safely and take back control.
Healing takes time. Don’t pressure yourself to recover overnight. Seek support and move forward at your own pace.
Final Thoughts
What counts as domestic violence varies from case to case, but at its core, it’s always about power and control. It isn’t limited to physical harm—emotional manipulation, threats, financial control, and isolation all qualify. If something feels wrong or unsafe, trust your instincts. Abuse rarely gets better on its own and often escalates. Take steps to protect yourself, seek help, and remember—you deserve safety, dignity, and a life free from fear. Understanding what counts as domestic violence is the first step toward reclaiming your power.
If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or talk to someone you trust. Every small step counts. You are not alone.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week In person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.
Other Related Articles:
- What Is Domestic Violence? – Domestic Violence Laws in TX
- Domestic Violence Prevention
- How Long is Probation For Domestic Violence in Texas?
- Domestic Violence in Child Custody Cases: How Will Your Judge View This Issue?
- Removing Yourself from a Marriage Affected by Domestic Violence
- How Long Do Domestic Violence Protective Orders Last?
- Domestic Violence: Your Safety Plan
- Startling Domestic Violence: Woman Hits Man Car
- Signs, Safety Plans & Help: Combatting Domestic Violence in Texas
- Domestic Violence Resources
