Can my spouse read my email? Privacy is crucial for most individuals. We assume that our emails, text messages, and other communications will remain private, even from our spouses. While we naturally share some communication with our spouses, the idea of all our thoughts being accessible to them might not be ideal. In fact, it could lead to unforeseen marital issues at home.
Ideally, both spouses in a marriage would just accept and agree that there is no right to have unfettered access to each other’s communications. I think this is probably true of most people. However, it could be that you and your spouse have a different understanding of the line that many other people will not cross. What you may not have readily appreciated is that these actions by your spouse against you aren’t only harmful to the marriage relationship. They can be harmful, as well, to your chances of being able to have a fair divorce. The information that your spouse gains from accessing email and other communications could potentially be used against you in a divorce.
Divorce and digital privacy: Beware of spousal spying
All bets are off when you move towards a divorce as far as whether your spouse will be willing to spy on your communications. The fact that a divorce is on the horizon means that your spouse may be willing to bend the truth and engage in some behavior that he otherwise would have been unwilling to do a few months ago. In a divorce where both parties are in similar situations, the demand for evidence that could harm your case is high. Any negative information uncovered about you may be used against you during negotiations.
Sometimes, the information uncovered through spying can be so damaging that you may not know where to turn. If it is embarrassing for you then you naturally would not want to share the information with your attorney. Everyone likes to share the good news. Nobody gets excited to share the news that paints them in an unfavorable light. With that said, I have seen a handful of clients keep secrets from their attorney for various reasons but the foremost among those reasons must be that the incident or issue is embarrassing. The spouse would prefer to suffer the consequences of being blackmailed, essentially.
Spying in divorces has become easier with the prevalence of online communication. Written messages on phones or computers are easier to collect than phone conversations. Apps can transmit texts and record emails effortlessly. While technological savvy is required, your spouse need not be a private investigator to access your messages.
What are the reasons why your spouse could be spying on you?
This is the million-dollar question you’ll need to address. There are numerous reasons why your spouse may choose to spy on you, though few are justifiable beyond concerns for the safety or well-being of your children. Typically, if your spouse is spying, it’s driven by curiosity or to confirm suspicions about your habits or whereabouts. For instance, if they’re curious about your work hours, they might check your emails for messages from your boss about late assignments.
Some reasons are more about your spouse attempting to exert control, which could potentially precede a divorce filing. Control can be advantageous for your spouse both within the marriage and during divorce proceedings. Writing from the perspective of someone going through a divorce, it’s reasonable to assume that your spouse is not aiming to preserve the marriage. Instead, they may be spying to gain an advantageous position regarding custody of your children and division of assets.
Attorneys often hear reports of spying due to concerns about infidelity within the marriage. The extent of truth to these assumptions varies case by case. People often conduct spying to monitor communications rather than to confirm infidelity. However, if cheating has occurred or is suspected, accessing a spouse’s private information or messages to confirm it raises ethical questions.
Spying isn’t limited to married couples. If you and your co-parent are in disagreement over child-related matters and you suspect they may file a custody case soon, spying could uncover information advantageous to you. Evidence of poor decision-making or questionable behavior on their part may influence your negotiation strategy, potentially making you more inclined to accept a settlement rather than push for what you want.
What are some of the ways that you can tell you are being spied on?
If you think that your spouse is spying on you then you may need to start being more vigilant about their behavior and your response to it. It is not easy to go through a situation where you are being spied on in the lead-up to a probable divorce. You should not ignore the feeling when something just doesn’t feel right. That’s when you need to start asking questions. Then, you can determine whether additional action is necessary to investigate the situation involving spying.
After all, if your spouse was spying on you, it is easier to nip the situation in the bud and protect yourself sooner rather than later. The later you wait the more likely that harm could occur. The more information that your spouse gets your hands on the more likely it is that he or she will find information that sticks against you or hurts your case.
Signs of spousal spying: what to watch for
One strong sign of spying is when your spouse references conversations you’ve never had. If they share information they couldn’t know otherwise, it may indicate spying. You don’t need to address it immediately; instead, investigate how they’re accessing your messages. Once you’ve closed those avenues, address the issue directly.
Spyware isn’t just something for computers anymore. You can download spyware onto a cell phone to track emails and text messages. What’s troublesome is that it can be difficult to keep track of the spyware once it gets into your phone. If you don’t have a password or passcode protection on your phone, then you should go ahead and start that now. This way the chances of your spouse being able to access your phone without your knowledge is minimal. Other signs that spyware may be on your computer are if your phone is running slowly or the battery is draining faster than ordinary.
This is a simple one to look for but one that some people will miss on occasion. If your emails are showing up as read before you have had a chance to read them then that is a tell-tale sign of spying happening in and around your computer or phone. If you have your email password saved on a computer at home, then it is easy for your spouse to look around and then leave when it suits him or her. Do not underestimate how easy and tempting this is for a person who is already trying to gain an advantage over you for the upcoming divorce.
Old-school spying methods: what to watch out for
Sometimes the spying that is happening could be more old school than you otherwise would have thought. For instance, if you notice a new item in your home, such as a stuffed animal or another seemingly innocuous object, verify that your spouse hasn’t brought in a camera or other spying device. This is the sort of thing that you hear about or see on movies or television shows when it comes to spying.
This obviously is not the most sophisticated way to spy on someone, but it can be and oftentimes is an effective way to learn information about you that you want to keep private. Do not take for granted that everything that comes into your house is legitimate. If a divorce has already been filed or you anticipate a divorce being filed then you should look at things like this with a skeptical eye.
Another old-school method your spouse might use to spy during a divorce is attaching a camera or tracking system to your vehicle. Obviously, in today’s world, it does not take much to track a vehicle. Your spouse can use GPS technology and even your cell phone to track your movements throughout the day. However, there may be some particular reason why your spouse would choose to track your vehicle using one of these methods. If your spouse is showing up at places where he or she never used to and does so without warning, then you should look at that skeptically. It may pay to look underneath your vehicle or inside the glove box. He or she may have stored a tracking device there when you were not looking.
Protecting your privacy during marital struggles
Consider changing the password on any account your spouse may access. With Google or Apple-based cell phones, a single password often applies to multiple resources, making it convenient but also leaving you vulnerable to spying. Updating your password or enabling two-step verification can enhance your security.
Otherwise, if you and your spouse are going through a difficult time in your marriage then it could make sense for you to hide important documents from him or her for at least the time being. Remove any information about financial accounts your spouse is not listed on, as well as computer passwords and other sensitive information. Store these items in a safer place. This could mean that you take it to a friend’s or parents’ home or create multiple online locations for the information to be stored that your spouse is unaware of. This will keep the information secure and still make it convenient for you to be able to rely upon it in the future when you need to verify a password.
Any online account or resource that you utilize should have an updated password set periodically. This is good advice even if you are not going through marital problems. Online scammers are plentiful and keeping your passwords for too long on a website is an easy way for this camera to take advantage of lapses in your digital security. Avoid using birthdays, address numbers, or other similar information to create passwords that are hard to guess.
Tips for secure online communication during marital struggles
Another tip as far as your online behavior is concerned would be to never discuss marital problems and other difficulties online or via text message. While you are undoubtedly going through hard times in your marriage there is no real benefit to complaining about your spouse on the Internet. Rather, the better move would be for you 2 engage in therapy whether professional or to talk with close friends or family about the situation. At this point, the last thing you would want to be able to do is to give your spouse ammunition to use against you in the context of a divorce. Also, you need to begin practicing using good online etiquette if you do go through with the divorce. Many people have suffered consequences because they have spoken negatively about a judge or other person of authority during their family law case.
These are just some preliminary thoughts about e-mail messaging and other similar subjects that may become a part of your divorce. If you have specific questions about situations that have developed in your life, I recommend that you contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan to discuss these issues further with an experienced family law attorney.
In conclusion, while it’s natural to share some communication with our spouses, maintaining boundaries and respecting privacy is essential for a healthy relationship. The question “can my spouse read my email?” underscores the importance of establishing clear expectations regarding privacy within marriage. While some level of openness is expected, unrestricted access to every thought and message can lead to unintended marital discord. Therefore, open and honest communication about boundaries and expectations regarding email privacy is crucial for maintaining trust and harmony in a relationship.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about how your family’s circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.
Other Related Articles:
- What is spousal spying?
- Spousal Spying FAQs
- The Dirty Trick of Spousal Spying in a Texas Divorce
- Spousal Cyber Spying: Are You At Risk?
- Cell Phones, Mail, Computers, Spying on Your Spouse, and Privacy Rights in a Spring, Texas Divorce
- What to do When Your Spouse is Spying on You
- Wiretapping, GPS Tracking and Divorce in Texas
- Spousal Support and Children in a Texas Divorce
- Spying on your spouse – What to know in a Texas Divorce
- Legalities of Spying on a Child’s Cell Phone in Texas
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
