Behind every child custody case is a parent striving to manage their emotions. Facing the realities of a child custody case can be challenging. You may gain rights, duties, and time with your child, or face unfavorable outcomes. You don’t know which outcome will be yours. It’s not ideal, but your love for your child drives you to secure your relationship.
We understand the legal and emotional aspects of a child custody case in Texas. While laws are crucial, emotions and negotiations play a significant role too. Today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will help you balance these aspects in your child custody case.
Keep everything in perspective. In a contested child custody case, pressure can build up quickly. It might feel like you’re fighting a battle against your ex-partner, the courts, and life itself. The reality is usually less dramatic. Every decision may seem pivotal, but that’s normal. As experienced family law attorneys, we understand these feelings and reassure you that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed.
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is here to support you. We are attorneys with the heart of a teacher. We will teach you about the law, your circumstances, and their interaction in your child custody case. We also recognize the emotional aspect of child custody cases. Our goal is to help you make informed decisions for your children and yourself.
https://www.bryanfagan.com/blog/2018/february/can-family-violence-render-a-mediated-settlement
The full range of emotions is on display in a child custody case
When a person finally makes up their mind to file a child custody case, I like to say that this person has had their “I’ve had it!” moment. This means that you would have reached your breaking part as far as acknowledging that whatever your current circumstances are, they are not working. Maybe you never get to see your child other than on an occasional meal during the week. Or, you may have never received a dime in child support from your co-parent despite his promises to the contrary.
Whatever it is, when you acknowledge that you have a major problem in your life and your child’s it may be time to go ahead and file for a child custody case. It takes resolve- courage, acceptance, and fortitude- to be able to take this step. It is no small step that you are taking. Many people are in your shoes and are choosing not to file this case that you are considering. You can take that leap and move forward on behalf of your child. When you reach that point, please consider contacting the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We can help you to take advantage of your desire to move forward in your case so that you don’t lose any time.
How do you tell your children about the case?
Whether yours is a child custody or divorce case you will need to talk to your children about the case and what it can mean to your family. Older children can be spoken to more openly and in some detail. Elementary-aged children may only need to receive basic details about any changes in their lives that they may experience because of the family law case being filed. Finally, small children may not need to have the subject addressed at all.
You can make up your mind on how to talk to your children about the situation. For older children, they may experience a change in their routine as far as seeing both their parents. In other cases, this may be a matter that has little impact on your child. It is up to you how to share the information with your children. In a divorce scenario, you and your spouse may be able to sit down together and talk to your children as a team about the case. Think about it and be intentional.
Do not lean too heavily on your children for support
Your children are in your life every day and are the reason you have filed your child custody case. However, there can be the temptation to lean too heavily on the kids for support. This is something that you should avoid. Bear in mind that your children are not fully mature and may be having problems of their own in handling issues related to the child custody case. This is not a burden that they need to bear in support of you and the case.
Rather, you should look to your support system of adults for emotional support during this case. Reach out to friends and family that you can trust and are comfortable with. You are not burdening these people. You are relying on a person that you trust for help during a difficult time. In turn, this person that you are relying upon may come to rely upon you for something later. This is what human relationships are built on. Reach out to people that you can trust and see who is willing to be a friend during a tough time.
When should you start negotiating the case?
In an ideal world, you would start negotiating with your co-parent as early as possible in your case. Sometimes you may even begin negotiations before the case starts. For example, consider a child custody case within a larger divorce case. After marriage counseling, you and your spouse realize your marriage isn’t salvageable. You’ve tried but couldn’t find a solution to your problems.
By this point, you’ve developed proper communication skills to manage frustrations with each other. These skills will be crucial during your divorce because communication remains important throughout the process and beyond. Remember, you’re raising children together. That responsibility doesn’t end with the divorce.
Start talking to your spouse as early as you can. What are your main issues with co-parenting? How will you divide possession time during the divorce? Where will each of you live after the divorce? Addressing these logistical issues now helps you better serve your children during and after the divorce. Negotiation shows you’re serious about being open and fair. Often, this makes your child custody or divorce case less confrontational and more cooperative.
For child custody negotiations, approach the case similarly. If you and your co-parent aren’t married, you might not live together anyway. Discuss any issues impacting your lives, with child support often being a primary concern. You might have problems receiving consistent support or need varying amounts of support over time. Showing willingness to discuss these issues signals good faith.
You may be surprised to find your co-parent has good intentions. Often, a co-parent just has a different perspective on negotiating. They might have misinterpreted something and made incorrect assumptions about your positions. Simple communication to clear the air can bring both of you to the negotiating table.
An attorney can help with negotiations
When in doubt, an attorney can assist you with the negotiation process. To be sure, the old myth about attorneys is how we just make a bad situation even worse. Lawyers only want to make more money, right? This couldn’t be further from the truth. Attorneys want to help clients arrive at settlements sooner rather than later. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will help you balance the twin objectives of arriving at a fair settlement and doing so in a time-efficient manner.
To be sure, you can become fatigued at the negotiations between yourself and your co-parent. After weeks of running into similar issues, you can feel like you just want the case to be done and over with. Not worrying any longer about the subject matter of your case isn’t unreasonable when you reach certain stages of negotiations. However, this is not a wise perspective to take in the long run. What feels good at the moment can actively work against you in the long run of your case.
Instead, take the time to remember what you are negotiating for and who will be benefiting from these negotiations. Your child is the one who stands to benefit the most from negotiations. The more often you realize this the better off your child and you will both be. Review your goals with your attorney regularly. Do your goals need to shift? What about the methods you have chosen to employ to arrive at those goals? Each family law case is different and the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will work diligently with you to achieve whatever goals you have set out for yourself and your family.
After mediation look closely at your Mediated Settlement Agreement
The Mediated Settlement Agreement, or MSA for short, is completed at the end of mediation by the mediator. The MSA contains the terms of your settlements and will be the basis for the final orders to be drafted either by your attorney or by your co-parent’s attorney. This surprises some people who assume that the mediated settlement agreement will become the final order of the case. Rather, the MSA will be the basis for those final orders but are drafted using conversational language and not the language that can be included for a judge’s signature.
A lot of misunderstanding can occur between the mediated settlement agreement being drafted and the final orders being drafted. First, look over the MSA before you sign it after mediation. If something does not make sense to you then you should take the time to review it and ask questions. Do not assume that either the attorney or the mediator is incapable of making mistakes. The MSA was written up quickly by the mediator, so it is very possible that he or she made a mistake in drafting the document.
The best time to ask questions about the MSA is in mediation and before you sign the document. Once you sign the MSA it is very difficult (nearly impossible) to go back on what you had signed. Sometimes there will be minor mistakes that were included. You need to be the one to find those errors. Your attorney will keep an eye out for these things, but you can review them, too. Remember- be accountable for your case. This is your life that is impacted by these things.
Legal insights offered by experienced attorneys in a child custody case
The attorneys at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are here to assist you in your child custody case. We take pride in supporting your family through these challenging times. Let us shoulder the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty of your family law case.
Our attorneys provide context, help, and information to guide you through your circumstances. Struggling to keep issues straight in your case? Work with our team. We know how to organize, develop, and implement an effective case strategy for your family.
We aim to maximize our legal knowledge and teach it to you. Translating information into actionable knowledge is crucial in a child custody case. An attorney’s knowledge is only valuable if they can convey it to you.
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, our ability to help clients defines our success. When you’re ready for a free consultation, we’ll share our vision for your child custody case. While we can’t predict the outcome, we can offer tips and methods to help you achieve your goals.
Thank you for spending part of your day with us on the Law Office of Bryan Fagan blog. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free consultations for people like you. You have a lot on your mind, and we aim to ease your burdens. Your life won’t come to a halt because of a child custody case. By working with us, you’ll have the time you need for your case and the rest of your life.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as how your family may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.
https://www.bryanfagan.com/blog/2018/december/what-is-reality-and-what-is-myth-regarding-divor-2
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- Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act: Its impact on your Texas family law case
- How Parental Alienation May Influence Child Custody Cases in Texas
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Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
