Skip to content
When a custody order is in place, both parents are expected to follow it. Still, situations can become complicated when a child refuses to visit one of the parents. This issue can stir emotions, raise legal questions, and create tension between households. Understanding what the law says about child refusal to visit one of the parents is essential for making the right decisions. Parents need to know their responsibilities, the potential consequences of ignoring a court order, and the steps they can take to address the situation while protecting their child’s well-being.
The Legal Obligation to Follow Custody Orders
Custody and visitation schedules are court-ordered arrangements. These orders carry the same legal weight as any other court decision. A parent cannot simply decide not to follow the schedule because the child says they do not want to go.
Enforcing Court Orders
Courts expect the custodial parent to make reasonable efforts to comply with visitation orders. This includes:
- Informing the child about scheduled visits
- Encouraging the child to go
- Having the child ready on time for pickup
Failing to follow the court-ordered schedule can lead to accusations of interference with visitation, which may result in fines, makeup parenting time, or even a change in custody.
Considering the Child’s Age and Maturity
A court may consider a child’s opinion when they reach a certain age, but the law still requires compliance with visitation orders unless the court officially changes them. States vary in how much weight they give to a child’s preference.
Examples of Age Consideration
- In some states, children as young as 12 may have their preferences heard by the judge.
- In others, courts consider the child’s wishes but do not let the child make the final decision.
Parents should understand that until the court changes the order, the schedule must be followed.
Addressing the Reasons Behind the Refusal
While the law focuses on compliance, judges also understand that a refusal may signal a deeper problem. The parent should try to find out why the child does not want to visit.
Common Reasons a Child Might Refuse
- Discomfort with a new stepparent or step-siblings
- Differences in household rules or routines
- Conflict with the parent during visits
- Fear or allegations of mistreatment
If the refusal is based on safety concerns, the custodial parent should document the child’s statements and take steps to protect the child while contacting an attorney for legal advice.
The Role of Mediation and Counseling
In many cases, courts encourage parents to seek mediation or counseling to address a child’s reluctance.
Benefits of Mediation
- Neutral ground for both parents to discuss concerns
- Opportunity to create adjustments to the visitation plan that work better for the child
- Reduced tension between parents, which can help the child feel more comfortable
Counseling can help the child express feelings in a safe setting and may lead to solutions that restore the parent-child relationship.
When a Parent Believes Visits Should Stop
If a parent thinks visitation is not in the child’s best interest due to safety concerns, the law requires them to seek a formal modification of the custody order.
Steps to Request a Change
- Gather evidence, such as text messages, statements, or medical reports, supporting the concern.
- File a petition with the court requesting a change to the visitation schedule.
- Attend the hearing and present the evidence to the judge.
Until the court grants a change, the original order remains enforceable.
Possible Legal Consequences of Withholding Visits
When a parent repeatedly allows a child to skip visits without court approval, the other parent can file a motion for enforcement.
Consequences Can Include
- Compensatory visitation to make up for missed time
- Monetary fines or payment of the other parent’s legal fees
- Modification of custody in severe cases
Parents should avoid acting outside of court authority, even when the child insists on not going.
Special Considerations in Cases of Abuse
If the child’s refusal is due to abuse or suspected abuse, the custodial parent should take immediate action.
Immediate Steps
- Report the concern to law enforcement or child protective services
- Seek a temporary restraining order if needed
- Request an emergency custody modification from the court
Courts take these allegations seriously but require evidence to make changes.
Encouraging Compliance Without Force
While parents must follow custody orders, physically forcing a child to go with the other parent can be harmful. Courts look for reasonable efforts to comply, not extreme measures.
Reasonable Efforts Might Include
- Explaining the importance of visits to the child
- Offering reassurance and addressing concerns
- Involving a neutral family member to help with transitions
Documenting Efforts to Comply
Keeping a record of your attempts to follow the order can protect you if the other parent claims you interfered.
What to Document
- Dates and times you informed the child about visits
- Notes about the child’s reasons for refusal
- Any steps you took to encourage attendance
When the Child’s Refusal Becomes an Ongoing Issue
If a child continues to resist visits over time, both parents may need to work with the court to create a plan that addresses the child’s needs without violating the law. This might involve:
- Adjusting the visitation schedule
- Gradually increasing parenting time
- Providing counseling for the child and parents
Conclusion
The law requires parents to follow court-ordered visitation schedules even when a child refuses to go. The custodial parent must make reasonable efforts to comply while addressing the underlying reasons for the refusal. Ignoring the order without court approval can lead to serious legal consequences. The safest path is to document your efforts, communicate openly with the other parent, and seek legal modification when necessary. This approach respects the law while working toward a resolution that supports the child’s well-being.
Other related articles
- What to Do When a Child Refuses Custodial Visitation in Texas
- Can a Child Refuse to See a Parent in Texas?
- How to proceed when your child refuses to visit your co-parent
- How Old Does a Child Have to Be to Refuse Parenting Time With the Noncustodial Parent?
- What To Do When a Parent Refuses To Follow a Court Order and Return a Child
- 7 Key Indicators: What Are the Signs that I Need to Hire a Child Custody Attorney Now
- Effective Child Custody Dispute Resolution Options: A Guide for Parents
- Child Custody Mediation vs Litigation: What Parents Need to Know
- Understanding the Domestic Violence Effects on Child Custody Decisions
- Understanding Texas Child Custody for Unmarried Parents
