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After a divorce, you can easily find yourself searching for answers about your ex-spouse’s new partner. Moving on from a relationship perspective is not something out of the ordinary. However, when you have children in both homes, it presents a range of challenges for families to encounter. One of the challenges that comes as a part of this arrangement is how child custody disputes arise as a result of the new family dynamic.
In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we will discuss how to handle child custody disputes related to your ex-spouse’s new partner. These disputes may arise for several reasons related to your ex-spouse’s new partner. That said, having trustworthy legal advice is a major benefit for you to consider. Working with the attorneys at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan presents many advantages. Contact us today for a free-of-charge consultation with an experienced family law attorney.
A new set of relationships for your child and your ex-spouse’s new partner
One of the most concerning parts of going through a divorce is seeing how your child will handle the changes in his life. Children thrive in consistent, stable environments. Removing the consistency and stability from their life means that your child could struggle in several ways. Issues communicating their needs, problems developing relationships, and overall stress can all impact a child after a divorce.
Part of your job as a parent is to minimize the transitional problems that your child may encounter as a result of the divorce. To be sure, it is impossible to eliminate all difficulties associated with the divorce. There will be some problems that arise in your lives because you and your spouse are divorcing. However, child custody disputes would hopefully be minimal.
Courts understand that adults oftentimes begin new relationships after a divorce. At the same time, these courts attempt to modify the behavior of adults who engage in new relationships. The reason why courts concern themselves with situations like this is that the best interests of your child matter. This is true not only in a general sense but also in an objective, legal sense. Here is what the best interests of your child mean to your child custody case.
What is the best interests of the child standard?
The best interests of the child standard is a legal standard that requires a court to look at a range of factors when assessing the needs of your child. The safety of your child is at the forefront of their analysis. Above all else, you and your co-parent need to be able to keep your child safe from harm. Your ability to do this should not be impacted by a new romantic partner. A court would see anything that keeps your child from being safe as a potential problem.
Additionally, the best interests of the child standard consider what sort of relationships your child can potentially benefit from. It is presumed under Texas law that your child benefits most from having a relationship with both you and your co-parent. As such, child custody disputes are something that can disrupt those relationships. Courts want to give parents the autonomy to do what they believe is best for their children. However, when romantic relationships begin to present problems that is when courts intercede.
One of the most challenging aspects of a child custody case involving your ex-spouse’s new partner relates to separating your best interests from those of your child. As parents, we tend to assume in certain situations that our best interests are the same as our child’s. In an ideal world that would be the case. However, in situations involving romantic partners, it is not always true. These are situations where you need to consider your child’s best interests independent of your own.
Dating, overnight stays and an ex-spouse’s new partner after divorce
Court orders which come out of your divorce are known as the Final Decree of Divorce. These are your and your co-parent’s “marching orders” which you are expected to follow once your case concludes. Importantly, orders related to your child are included in the Final Decree of Divorce. Issues like visitation, possession, support, and access are all covered in these orders.
There may also be orders related to unrelated adults spending the night at your residences when the children are present. This is done to provide your child with the sort of attention that he or she needs when spending time with you. There are other practical reasons why having an unrelated adult over during nighttime hours may not be in the best interests of your child. The overall emphasis of these court orders tends to be on your child. Doing what is best for your child comes first.
In any event, pay attention to your court orders. What we just discussed is only one of the types of restrictions that may be a part of your case. The specific situation you find yourself in as far as your family is concerned may result in a different type of restriction. Consult with an experienced family law attorney before engaging in this type of analysis. An attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan knows how to help you manage your situation and look out for your child’s best interests.
When is it appropriate to start dating after a divorce?
The first question that your ex-spouse may be asking themselves is when it is ok to start dating. On an emotional level, it may feel like it is ok to start dating during the divorce. After all, you have moved on from the marriage and are now focused on other things. You may have even moved out leaving your spouse alone in the family home. She may feel comfortable talking to other people to see what options may be out there after the marriage.
It is not a good idea to start dating during the divorce. In the eyes of the law, your spouse is still married to you. Dating during the marriage leads to the possibility of adultery. Adultery is not just being in a relationship with another person while married- at least in the eyes of the law. Rather, adultery has to do with other factors that often come with a dating relationship. Any questions you have about the specifics of adultery can be addressed to an experienced attorney at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.
Another reason why you should consider not dating during a divorce is because you have enough on your plate as it is. Managing a divorce is time-consuming and stressful. Whether it is you or your spouse who is considering it, it is best to wait on dating until after the divorce. Keep in mind that you have to manage the transition of your children into multiple households. This is an emotionally taxing time. Spreading yourself too thin is entirely possible.
How soon is “too soon” for your ex-spouse to introduce your children to their new partner?
This is the next question that your ex-spouse may encounter. If not during the divorce, then when is it ok to introduce your kids to their new partner? Obviously, this is a delicate subject. Your children will be understandably loyal to you, their parents. At the same time, there will be some likely animosity between your children and the new person. That animosity may spill over into how they feel about your co-parent. So, this is a delicate balancing act that your ex-spouse must manage.
Choosing a date too soon can result in problems. Your children will be learning how to balance their time between multiple households. Previously, your children have become accustomed to living in only one home. Now your children need to learn how to to live in multiple households. This may sound easy enough, but it surely is not. The easier you and your ex-spouse can make this transition the better acclimated your children will become.
Adding on to this the need to introduce your children to a new partner almost surely will not make the process any easier. A new partner can make this acclimation process much more complicated. The new partner’s presence in the home can make that transition complicated. Depending upon your relationship with your ex-spouse this may be something you can discuss with him or her. If not, you may be limited in your ability to impact this decision at all.
Modifying a court order when your ex-spouse’s partner engages in risky behavior
A concern that you may have related to your ex-spouse’s new partner is the behavior of that partner around your children. Every parent wants their child to be safe. When our children spend time with us, we do everything we can to help that child. However, there is a certain amount of stress involved when the child leaves our home. We have little control over his or her life outside of our home.
You can hope that your ex-spouse is doing everything that he or she can to promote the safety and well-being of your child. Again, it matters more What serves your child well as opposed to what serves you well in a relationship. Even if you want to move on from your marriage this may not be the opportunity. Your ex-spouse needs to be careful about how they introduce your children to a new partner. Many people go about this the wrong way and cause suffering in the lives of your children.
The question you need to answer is: what options do you have If your ex-spouse’s new partner has presented themselves there’s a risk of harm to your children? Do you have any options under the law to help keep your child safe? Would you need to continue to send your child to their residence? Let’s spend some time discussing how to change a court order to keep your child safe.
Modifying final orders in a divorce
Let’s suppose that you have major concerns about the new partner of your ex-spouse. Your child has come home from your co-parent’s house on multiple occasions having described are things occurring in that residence. Some of these concerns have to do with potentially risky behavior like drug and alcohol use in the home. Your child is too young to understand what is going on. However, based on their description you can tell that drug use is ongoing in the home.
What can you do at this time to help keep your child safe? You know that denying your ex-spouse visitation time with the children is a violation of your court order. However, the last thing you want to do is put your child in a position where he or she is at a risk of harm. Balancing these dual concerns is what can make co-parenting so difficult. Understanding your legal options is one way to keep your child safe during uncertain times.
Modifying your child custody orders is one way to potentially keep your child safe. Modifying a court order is possible if a material and substantial change in circumstances has occurred. In this situation, your ex-spouse beginning to date after the divorce may qualify. Additionally, the requested modification would need to be in the best interests of your child. Work with an experienced family law attorney to help you learn more about this complex subject.
How to approach in modification using mediation
Mediation is another tool that you can use to help your family handle the changes that come with life after a divorce. You are likely familiar with mediation as it was experienced during the divorce. Mediation is an effective tool which can help your family handle disagreements that come up from time to time with your family. In mediation, you and your ex-spouse approach topics together in a controlled, discussion-based environment.
When it comes to a new partner who presents a risk of harm to your children that is certainly a time where you should want to consider your options. First, attempt to discuss the subject with your ex-spouse directly. This does not guarantee that you will have an immediate impact on their decision making. However, it does provide your ex-spouse with some assurance that you are trying to resolve matters amicably.
If direct negotiation will not work and try to mediate the case. Instead of filing a modification case immediately you may need to schedule mediation first. In mediation you can directly address the subject at hand. There may be reasonable steps that your ex-spouse can take to help keep your children safe. If those steps are agreeable to you then a modification case may not be necessary. It is best to have an attorney walk alongside you during this time.
Enforcing a court order related to the new partner of your ex-spouse
Now let’s consider its situation where your ex-spouse has chosen to bring their new boyfriend around the house in the evening time. Most court orders prevent a parrot from engaging in this type of behavior. Reason being is that it encourages potentially risky behavior when these children are present. It also risks upsetting the delicate equilibrium between parents and children in a new environment.
If you have become aware that your ex-spouse has begun to bring their boyfriend around the house in the evening then there are steps you can take to address the problem. As always, it is best to address the situation directly with your ex-spouse first. Immediately filing for an enforcement case can work against you. Your ex-spouse may have been willing to negotiate with you if you had only presented the issue to them directly.
Once you have tried to directly address the issue with your ex-spouse you can then move with confidence towards filing an enforcement case. An enforcement case allows you to directly address issues that relate to violations of your court order. When your ex-spouse has violated a court order that means it is time for you to act. Once your ex-spouse has shown an unwillingness to work with you to address the problem directly you can then move on towards court-based remedies. And enforcement case is the best way to do this. Consider reaching out to an experienced family law attorney for assistance.
Final thoughts on child custody disputes related to the new partner of your ex-spouse
Thank you for choosing to spend part of your day today with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our experienced family law attorneys you know how to serve clients in complicated circumstances. We offer free of charge consultations six days a week. Please reach out to us with any questions you may have about the subject matter in today’s blog post.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
