When we all got married, we envisioned a lifetime of happiness with our significant other. Otherwise, why get married in the first place? To that point, life was sunshine and lollipops. As a result, we decided to tie the knot. This decision was one where We may have had second or third thoughts. After all, who doesn’t think long and hard about a life-altering decision? No matter how much thought you put into the decision, at the end of the day you ended up getting married.
Now you are several years into the marriage. That happy and content relationship that started when now shows signs of problems. Unfortunately, because your life has picked up speed it is difficult to tell exactly where the problems began. You are wondering what the signs of an unhappy marriage are. Whatever those signs might be you need to know that they are impacting your relationship. That way you may be able to decide to change the speed of your relationship.
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan thank you for joining us today on our blog. If you have any questions about the material you read today, please do not hesitate to reach out to our office. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free consultations six days a week. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law.
Lack of communication as a sign of an unhappy marriage
One of these telltale signs of a failing marriage is heading back out communication between you and your spouse. What may have started as a disagreement or misunderstanding may have grown into an all-out inability to communicate. This is unfortunate given how difficult it can be to relearn or learn communication skills. As the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are fond of sharing with clients: nobody is a natural communicator. There are ways to improve our communication, however.
Start by attempting to address the issue directly with your spouse. Talk to him or her when the children are in bed and your phones are put away. Do your best to directly address the issues and explain yourself. If your spouse is agreeable to discussing the problems with you that is a good sign. However, if your spouse is unwilling to accept or understand where you are coming from then that is another potential problem area. What can you do when communication is clearly at the center of an unhappy marriage? What are your options?
When you find yourself facing down circumstances involving problems with communication you do have options. First, consider reaching out to an experienced marriage and family counselor. These are people whose background is in helping people just like you sort through marital difficulties. Next, work with your spouse directly. See if he or she will come around to at least talk to you about your concerns. In a marriage, if your spouse is unwilling to even see the situation from your point of view that is usually a bad sign. It’s not that he or she even must agree with you. It’s that a spouse should accept that when you see a problem there is something critical that needs to be discussed.
Emotional detachment
One of the major issue areas in a marriage can be emotional detachment. On the one hand, you do not want to be codependent in your marriage. Some people cannot define themselves or live their life I’m in a mental perspective without validation from their spouse. This is not a healthy situation. Giving of yourself in the relationship. For many people, balancing this tightrope is quite a challenge.
If you are struggling with the opposite problem, it is an issue you need to identify, as well. Consider that emotional detachment is easier in our day and age than ever before. It used to be that your spouse was someone that you relied upon in multiple ways. For example, if you and your spouse lived on a farm together then you were reliant on her for assistance. Otherwise, you and your family would surely struggle to survive. The distance between your farm and the next farm over could be significant. As a result, you relied on your spouse for companionship to a great extent.
Now we live in a world where everyone else around the globe is that arms reach by the click of a mouse. The computing power that we have on our phones would make a NASA astronaut blush. We can gain so much validation simply through digital relationships. As a result, becoming emotionally detached from your spouse is easier now than ever before. This emotional detachment is surely a sign of an unhappy marriage. Identifying this as a warning sign can help you avoid a situation where a premature end to the marriage occurs.
Constant conflict is the sign of an unhappy marriage
Anyone who has been married for any length of time can tell you that conflict and disagreement occur even in the happiest of marriages. Just because you and your spouse disagree with one another about a particular subject does not mean that you are in an unhappy marriage. In many ways, that you and your spouse are willing to communicate through disagreement is a good sign. These disagreements can be used as opportunities to voice your opinion and show that you are willing to listen to your spouse in the way you disagree with him or her.
On the other hand, constantly conflicting with your spouse can be a sign of an unhappy marriage. This is especially true when paired with an inability to communicate with one another. In that situation, the conflicts that you and your spouse have are, in reality, just opportunities for the two of you to talk at each other rather than with each other. Being unable to communicate means that the opportunities other couples would have for honest discussion passed both of you by.
What you are left with our circumstances where the two of you alright unable to talk through whatever situation has led to the disagreement in the first place. Disagreements are OK when they need to have productive conversations. Otherwise, these circumstances end up as stumbling blocks. When you find yourself in a situation like that it can be extremely disconcerting. When you find yourself unable to work through the problems in your marriage that is when a divorce becomes an option. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan can help guide you and provide you with assistance in circumstances like this.
A real-life situation involving an unhappy marriage
Recently, the Law Office of Bryan Fagan represented a young mother in a divorce case. Before filing for divorce the mother was at odds with her husband. The two had once had an extremely successful marriage. To begin with, the husband and wife dated for many years before they eventually got married. This led to them having a close, emotional bond. This emotional bond came in handy given the day-to-day difficulties that are a part of even happy marriages.
As life became busier the marriage started to feel like a burden. This young mother began to look at the marriage as a difficult battle that was being waged daily. The marriage was failing. What was even more troublesome was that this husband-and-wife team was no longer seeing eye to eye on any subject. That included topics related to their young children. Since one of the children had a special need it was troublesome to no longer be in communication with one another. What were formally subjects that two of them could talk through were now insurmountable problems.
As such, this mother walked into our office to share with us the problem she had been experiencing in her relationship. One of our attorneys sat down to talk to her and walk her through this difficult circumstance. Here is what our attorney shared with her in a free-of-charge consultation. The important thing here was being able to share this information and then receive personalized information back from one of our attorneys.
Deciding to end the marriage
When there are signs of an unhappy marriage impacting you and your spouse then it is up to you to decide to either continue in the relationship or in the marriage. For many people, it is an easy decision to make. For families who are going through stressful times, marriage is the source of many frustrations. In happier times, marriage stands as the central focus for well-being in the relationship. The growth and development of the family is due in large part to the success of your marriage.
When you start to experience problems in the marriage it becomes imperative that you identify those warning signs. When you start to discover that your marriage is not as strong as you thought it was this can lead to a range of problems. Not the least of which is any residual damage to your family life. Children feel the negative impacts I’m gonna happy marriage easier than you may otherwise believe. What had been an extremely content home life now is anything but. No matter their age, children are more perceptive about issues like this than you may think. As a result, they can observe when you and your spouse are going through hard times in the marriage.
The question that you need to ask yourself now is what are you going to do about the problems in your marriage? Are you going to take the plunge and end the marriage? Or are you going to attempt to work your way through them? In many ways, the answer to this question depends upon the other signs of an unhappy marriage. Such as, if there are problems involving adultery, domestic violence, or even abandonment. In this type of situation, you and your spouse may have fewer options to fix the marriage.
Fault grounds versus no-fault divorce
In Texas, there are two different types of divorce. A no-fault divorce is one where you do not specify a region for getting divorced. It used to be that you needed a specific reason to get divorced in Texas. This wasn’t a unique circumstance involving Texas law. All other states required a fault ground for divorce before your marriage could be ended. Instead, now Texas has what is known as no-fault divorces. This just means that you can cite irreconcilable differences or conflicts in personality as the reason for your divorce.
On the other hand, a divorce based on fault grounds is still possible. This type of divorce means you would have to specify a certain reason for asking the court to end your marriage. Common fault grounds for divorce include adultery, abandonment, and cruel treatment. Not only must you allege the fault ground for divorce but you also must be able to prove that fault ground with evidence. Having an experienced family law attorney by your side is a key reason why finding success in a fault-based divorce is possible.
Why could a fault-based divorce be something that you are interested in? After all, if you can get divorced with no-fault grounds then why bother with fault grounds? The answer to this question has to do with the outcome of your divorce. For instance, if you are alleging that your spouse abandoned you then that puts you in a position to allege a fault ground. If your case goes all the way to a judge, then he or she can use the fault ground when determining a division of property.
Determining whether divorce is right for you
Ultimately, only you can determine whether a divorce is right for you. This is a decision that will be based on your family and your needs. The signs of an unhappy marriage we have been discussing may not apply exactly to your situation. Marriages are unique. Admittedly, we are painting with a broad brush here on the blog for the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. In doing so we are making certain assumptions about your circumstances. You are going to be the person who decides whether to stay or go.
First, try to identify if you have a spouse who is a willing participant in the relationship. Many spouses look at trying to save their marriage as an impossible task. If it were possible, wouldn’t it already be done? You told yourself that for many years your relationship was a good one because it did not take any effort. Working through problems was effortless. Identifying problem areas before they begin to cause issues was no heavy lifting. Now that you are having to expend energy to save the relationship it seems that some of the assumptions you made in the relationship were not correct.
When your spouse has decided to not assist in the difficult work of saving the relationship then he may have answered your question. It takes two people to save an unhappy marriage. Even the enthusiasm of one spouse cannot make up for the lack of participation from the other spouse. It is worthwhile to try to save a relationship. However, even in a marriage, your enthusiasm cannot make up for the lack of participation from your spouse.
Final thoughts on identifying the signs of an unhappy marriage
Thank you for joining us today on the blog for the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We have a team of experienced attorneys here at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. These attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week. In a consultation, we can talk to you about the problems you have been experiencing in your marriage as well as the potential to avoid a divorce. Our attorneys understand the difficulties of a divorce and do not want you to become involved in one unless necessary.
Working with your spouse to identify problem areas of your marriage is complex. Every couple has a history together as husband and wife. As a result, the two of you may be unable to look past that history in hopes of saving the relationship. Once you identify the likelihood of success when it comes to solving your marriage problems you may have no choice but to move towards a divorce. In that situation, we hope that you think of the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our attorneys serve clients with pride and do so every day throughout the family courts of Texas.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
