The pandemic has significantly altered how we live and interact with our families. For many couples, sheltering in place has become a reality as underlying issues that were once manageable came to the forefront. With divorce rates rising, many couples are now questioning whether staying married is still the right choice. If you’re considering divorce after sheltering in place, this article delves into key factors to consider before making such a life-changing decision.
Increased Time Together: A Double-Edged Sword
Sheltering in place forced couples to spend more time together than ever. For some, this brought them closer, but for others, it exposed existing issues. Couples who may have previously avoided conflict due to busy schedules found themselves facing unresolved problems head-on. Communication breakdowns became more common, leading to disagreements over everyday tasks or financial pressures. Instead of resolving these conflicts, the added stress caused more tension in many households. As a result, cracks in the marriage began to show, making divorce seem like a more viable option.
Assessing the Current State of Your Marriage
The extended time together may have revealed the true state of your marriage. Ask yourself if the relationship has grown stronger or if hidden problems have emerged. Has communication between you and your spouse improved, or have arguments increased in both frequency and intensity? The quality of your conversations and interactions plays a critical role in determining the health of your marriage. It’s essential to assess where things stand now to decide what steps you need to take next.
Important Topics to Discuss with Your Spouse
Family Boundaries
Time spent with extended family can cause tension in a marriage, especially during stressful times. Discuss how each of you prefers to handle family involvement, both now and in the future. Are there clear boundaries, or is interference causing conflict? Addressing this early on can prevent problems down the road.
Parenting and Children
If you have children, align your parenting styles and long-term goals. The pandemic brought new challenges, making it vital to communicate about how to manage stress, remote learning, and family dynamics. Talking about your future parenting approach helps create stability and reduces the risk of conflict.
Long-Term Goals
Review your long-term goals as a couple. Have your financial, career, or lifestyle plans changed due to the pandemic? Ensure both of you are still on the same page about the future. Misalignment in these areas can create friction and lead to bigger issues later in the marriage.
When Divorce Might Be Necessary
Emotional or Physical Abuse
The pandemic saw an increase in domestic violence cases as families were confined to their homes. If you or your children are in danger, divorce may be a necessary step to ensure your safety. Prioritize your well-being and seek help immediately.
Irreconcilable Differences
If you and your spouse cannot agree on core areas such as family, finances, or raising children, divorce may become inevitable. These disagreements often lead to a breakdown in the marriage, making it impossible to continue together.
No Longer Feeling Safe
Feeling unsafe, emotionally drained, or unhappy in your relationship are all serious indicators that staying married may no longer be in your best interest. Personal safety and mental well-being should always come first. If these factors are compromised, divorce might be the best way to protect yourself and your future.
Financial and Legal Considerations Before Filing
Costs of Divorce
Divorce can be expensive, and it’s essential to understand the financial commitment before starting the process. Hiring an attorney, paying court fees, and managing other related expenses can add up quickly. Be prepared for these costs by setting aside funds or exploring credit options. Having a clear understanding of the financial implications will help you plan more effectively for the next steps.
Living Arrangements
Moving out of a shared home can be challenging, especially during times of financial uncertainty. Finding new housing or rearranging living spaces may not always be easy. Consider your financial situation carefully and think about temporary solutions if long-term options aren’t immediately available. It’s crucial to assess how these changes will impact you and your family.
Court Availability
The pandemic has caused delays in family court proceedings, with some courts experiencing backlogs. Before filing, check the availability of your local courts to avoid unexpected delays in the divorce process. Staying informed about court schedules will help you manage expectations and plan accordingly for any potential holdups.
Alternatives to Divorce
Marriage Counseling or Therapy
Before making a final decision, consider seeking marriage counseling or therapy. A professional can offer guidance and provide tools to help improve communication and resolve conflicts. Many counselors now offer virtual sessions, making it easier to access support during difficult times. Even if the outcome remains the same, counseling may help you and your spouse gain clarity on the issues at hand.
Separation
Trial separation can be a less permanent step to assess the state of your relationship. By living apart, both partners can reflect on their feelings without immediately resorting to divorce. A separation allows space to think about the marriage while keeping future options open. It might provide the clarity needed to make a more informed decision.
Conclusion
In conclusion, divorce after sheltering in place has become a reality for many couples as the pandemic has forced underlying issues to the surface. As divorce rates rise, it’s crucial to carefully evaluate your relationship and consider all factors before making such an important decision. Whether it’s seeking professional advice or taking the time to reflect on your situation, understanding your options will help guide you through this challenging time. By assessing your needs, emotional well-being, and future goals, you can make an informed decision that’s best for you and your family.
Other Related Articles
- Sheltering-in-Place and Intimate Partner Violence: Seeking Help During an Emergency
- What are the most important issues in a divorce to focus on during the coronavirus pandemic?
- Will I be Able to Meet With my Divorce Attorney During the Coronavirus Pandemic?
- Coronavirus Reality Checks: Surviving Divorce or Separation during the Pandemic
- Divorce During a Pandemic: Emotional and Social Ramifications
- Divorce during coronavirus: Will splits soar after pandemic quarantines end?
- Can I Get Divorced During the COVID-19 Pandemic?
- How the COVID-19 Pandemic has Slowed the Divorce Process
- Navigating Divorce During a Pandemic: Important Questions to Ask Yourself
- Answers to Popular Divorce Questions in Texas
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
