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As you consider the different impacts of a divorce in your family one which may not come to mind immediately is that of academic impacts on your child. We all want our children to succeed in school. Strong academic performances tend to occur in children who have strong physical and mental well-being. It is difficult for a child to succeed in school when their home life is in flux. Unfortunately, a divorce can create the sort of atmosphere which can lead to academic struggles.
In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to focus on how your divorce can impact your child’s academic performance. It is unavoidable that there are going to be some external costs associated with the divorce. Certainly, minimizing certain unintended consequences of a divorce is important. Academic struggles on the part of your child are something to be avoided. If those struggles are already occurring, then eliminating them should be a primary goal.
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog posts please do not hesitate to reach out to you the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our experienced family law attorneys can answer your questions and provide you with helpful information about your circumstances. A free-of-charge consultation carries with it no obligations.
Increased emotional stress and anxiety
Thinking about how stressful a divorce is to you should give you cause to ponder how your child is handling the case. Any stress and anxiety that you are experiencing likely pale in comparison to what your child is experiencing. Remember that your child lacks the life experience that you do. As a result, he or she cannot contextualize the difficulties of a divorce. As a result, he or she is likely experiencing stress associated with the case. How that stress manifests itself will likely be determined by your child’s age.
An older child may experience stress and retreat into themselves. Teenagers are already notorious for not expressing themselves well. For example, your child may have no interest in sharing their experiences about the divorce. Rather, your child may instead retreat into themselves and not speak to you about the stressful situations involving their life during the divorce. This could lead you to assume that your child is doing fine when that is not the case at all. That said, being able to identify signs of stress and anxiety in your child’s life is important. This can help you to find your child the assistance or outreach he needs to feel better.
Younger children experience stress differently. On a day-to-day basis, your younger child may act out in school or at home. Physical outbursts for younger children are more common. Think about how your child reacts when he or she is suffering from a lack of sleep. When a small child is sleepy it is very difficult for him or her to act responsibly. Now add to that family stress, instability, and anxiety. A younger child may suffer significantly because of a divorce.
The logistical and emotional challenges post-divorce
Children tend to handle divorce as well as their parents. This means that if you are not handling the stress and anxiety of a divorce well then you should not expect your child to. As such, your ability to handle the challenges of a divorce will impact the abilities of your child to do the same. Look at your own life and think more about how you are setting yourself up for either success or defeat. For instance, many children tend to do better in environments where their parents are always close by. However, a divorce may result in a changed work schedule or visitation schedule.
That you are not able to see your children as often because of the divorce may have negative impacts on your child’s mental health. How often were you able to spend time with your child talking about their concerns and anxieties before the divorce? If the answer to that is consistently, then you may look at the divorce as a potential roadblock to the success of your child. Determining how you are going to your schedule will, in large part, determine your availability for building a relationship with your child during and after the divorce.
Start thinking about your schedule and what you can do to make yourself more available to your child. You may already be the type of parent who is constantly a fixture in the life of your child. Anything you can do to further your relationship with your son or daughter should be encouraged. Simply having you present in the life of your child can be enough to strengthen your child’s mental health.
Financial strain leads to fewer educational resources
A divorce tends to be a time of financial difficulties for families. Resources that are already pushed to their limits are now pushed even further because of the divorce. Dual-income households now become single-income households. Work schedules that were already stressful are now pushed to the brink because of additional responsibilities related to the divorce. On top of this, household bills and responsibilities do not go away. As your family considers how to manage these considerations an eye towards your children needs to be maintained.
The success of your child in school can be connected to the financial resources of your family. It does not take a sociologist to understand that there is a relationship between household income and academic performance. Namely, that there is an inverse relationship between academic performance and financial difficulties. If your family experiences economic problems, then that would seem to hurt the performance of your child in school. This is not always the case, but the statistics are what they are.
Opportunities like private school, tutoring, and even speech therapy may become limited because of budgetary issues for your family. The more your divorce costs the fewer resources there are to expend in other areas. Because of this, your child may soon find that the extra help they had become accustomed to is not possible now. Your job as a parent is to fill in the gaps as best you can. This may mean fewer meals out or longer nights for you but paying attention to the details and helping your child manage their academic needs is a key part of the parent-child relationship.
Changing schools because of a divorce
Suppose that you move because of your divorce. This is not an outcome that is impossible to imagine. Many families end up relocating because of a divorce. Staying in the family home during a divorce may also be a temporary circumstance. Selling the family home could be a necessity if you are not able to afford the mortgage payments on your own. With that said, determining where you are going to live may also determine where your child goes to school. Or private school tuition may no longer be possible as a result of the changing family dynamics.
In other words, your child may need to change schools during the divorce. Changing schools carries with it significant challenges for families. Students not only have to adjust to a different routine but also changes in their academic environment. The stability and consistency provided by their prior is now thrown into the air. Your child will have to develop a new routine as far as their schooling is concerned. For a child who has never had to attend a new school, this will certainly be a change.
Changing schools will be a different experience for your child. However, it doesn’t have to be an elongated transition. You can help your child by becoming more of a presence in and around their school. For instance, you may choose to meet with his new teachers with him before beginning school. This can present your child with a picture of a united front both at school and at home. Additionally, you can create designated times to work with your child on their new school assignments.
Behavioral difficulties
No matter the age of your child, disciplinary and behavioral issues can arise because of a divorce. As a parent, you can never truly know how your child will react to the divorce until the case begins. Determining the path forward for your child in a divorce Is a unique challenge for your family. Different children require varying levels of help and support. You and your spouse are best positioned to help your child grow personally and academically in the divorce.
An older child may regress and begin acting immaturely because of the divorce. For example, your teenager may begin acting immaturely or in ways that are not consistent with their character. Bullying, using coarse language, or becoming disruptive at home may be signs that your teenager is dealing with stress because of the divorce. This behavior will almost certainly manifest itself at school. The impacts in a negative sense are quite apparent when it comes to their academics. The more time your child spends being disruptive at school the less likely he is to be able to focus on their studies.
Younger children may act out in even more demonstrative ways than older children. Whereas an older child may retreat into themselves, a younger child may begin showing explosive signs of anger or disruption at home and school. The inability to control their emotions is a common sign of stress and anxiety in the life of a young child. The true difficulty is that an older child has a somewhat greater ability to control themselves. This is as opposed to a younger child who typically has far less of an ability to control themselves from an emotional standpoint.
Concentration deficits because of divorce
We all know what it is like to be distracted. Being able to concentrate on work and school generally leads to better outcomes. Sitting next to someone disruptive can take away from our ability to perform up to standard. When your child is the one being disruptive that not only takes away from their academic performance but those of their neighbors. While your child concentrates on being disruptive it is nearly impossible for him to concentrate on their academic performance. Learning new concepts relies upon your child being ability to pay attention in class.
When your child is either acting disruptively or focused excessively on the divorce that can lead to major academic issues. Because your child is focused on the divorce he may deprioritize school. Helping your child concentrate may look like old-fashioned discipline. Removing distractions at home, like cell phones or television, can help your child to focus better when away from school. This may also help your child to be able to concentrate better when in an academic environment.
Simply reinforcing the importance of school in your proximity to your child can be helpful. Your child may subconsciously believe that you are distant during the divorce. However, by reinforcing your place in your child’s life you may find that it is easier for him to concentrate better in school. This will help him manage the stress of divorce better and maintain his grades more easily.
Social problems
A divorce may cause your child to come face to face with social problems, as well. Moving or changing schools may remove your child from an established friend group. For most children, making friends is difficult enough as it is. Now that your child is having to change learning environments his normal social structures also be out of whack. All right helping your child to regain consistency in their social life is important.
Even if your child is having to make new friends in school that does not mean that any degree of consistency in your child’s life must be removed. For instance, you can help your child to reaffirm existing friend groups through church or other organizations. Helping your child to reconnect with neighborhood friends or family can also help your child to feel more accepted. That acceptance can lead to a decrease in anxiety and an overall increase in functioning. This includes better performance in the classroom.
Communication problems between parents and children
Communication problems frequently develop because of a divorce. However, we typically think about these communication deficits as being more related to spouses than to children. It may be that instead of eating together as a family every night you and your family do not sit down for meals. The divorce may be a valid reason for this. However, it should not become habitual for your family if possible.
Instead, make a concerted effort to work with your child to improve the lines of communication. Always try and establish regular lines of communication between you and your child. That could be an evening walk every time he or she is at your house. Or it could mean taking out the baseball and mitts for a game of catch with your son or daughter. Whichever methods work best for your family should be pursued at this time. Maintaining and improving communication between parent and child can help your son or daughter improve their academic performance.
Stability and consistency in the schedule of a child
The bottom line here is that your child will perform better academically when there are elements of stability and consistency in their life. This is not to say that you can wave a magic wand and simply make your child in their life exactly how you would like it to be in an ideal world. A divorce is difficult no matter how you cut it. However, it is still possible for you and your family to work together to create positive outcomes. Depending upon the age of your child this is something that your child and you can work on together as a team.
Anything you can do to increase the stability and consistency in the life of your child should be pursued. Decisions about home environments, schooling, and family dynamics in the case in general should be geared towards the best interests of your child. Sometimes parents become so focused on a particular issue unit of worse that they can lose sight of what matters most. As your family begins the process of pursuing a divorce be sure to act mindfully regarding the academic successes of your child inside and outside the classroom.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
