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In Texas, many people assume that divorce cases will inevitably end up before a family court judge, largely due to media portrayals that often depict dramatic courtroom battles. However, the reality of negotiation in Texas divorce is quite different. In fact, most divorces are settled through negotiation rather than litigation. Understanding this process is essential, as it allows couples to reach mutually beneficial agreements without the emotional and financial costs of going to court.

While many people believe that trips to the courthouse are the norm for divorce cases, I would like to help shift that discussion to one based more on what you are likely to encounter in your divorce. It doesn’t do you much good to prepare for a divorce experience that will probably not relate to anything that you could go through in your divorce. Let’s discuss how negotiation can resolve issues in your divorce.

Go into the case with a positive attitude

It is undoubtedly challenging to go into a divorce with a positive attitude. Your marriage is coming to an end, and with it, many of the certainties you have had in your daily life for years. Even if your marriage wasn’t incredibly fulfilling, there was likely some stability within it. Now that this stability is coming to an end, you are likely to experience some problems adjusting to life both in divorce and as a single person. We know from experience that the best thing a person can do is adapt their mindset for whatever adversities may come their way.

What I was referencing earlier is that the perception that divorce is most likely to end up in a courtroom can happen. Courthouses exist for a reason, and judges are paid to come to the office every day. With that said, people frequently end up in court because they give up on the prospect of negotiating with their spouses. Sometimes these people assume that there is no chance for there to be any degree of success in negotiations for several reasons. Not the least of which is that they would not be going through the divorce if they could work out solutions to the problems plaguing their family.

Positive attitude in divorce: The power of negotiation

There is something about starting a divorce on a positive note that can do wonders for your mental well-being. A divorce is like any other challenging life event. The attitude you have as you begin the process can make a tremendous difference in the outcome for you and your family. If you go into a divorce with an attitude of negativity, that is probably A good indication that your case will wind up in the courtroom. This does not have to be the case but bear in mind that it is possible to negotiate through the issues of your case if you can provide information to your attorney that can help them guide you throughout the process.

During divorce, effective negotiation between spouses is not only possible but often leads to resolving longstanding family issues. For instance, you can now address dividing parenting responsibilities cooperatively, even if it was challenging during marriage. This process encompasses essential aspects like possession, custody, and visitation rights, offering a unique opportunity for constructive dialogue and resolution.

You may even be able to get a jumpstart on the negotiation process with your co-parent before you even start your divorce case. For instance, I have counseled clients on another thing it can be a great advantage to negotiate on the terms of your divorce before the case even begins. This way, you can start to identify the issues that you and your spouse largely agree on and which ones the two of you have some work to do as far as negotiation is concerned.

Success in divorce: Early engagement and positive attitude

Think about this like you would an assignment that you had in school. If you begin working on the project sooner rather than later, you will likely not have to devote an excessive amount of time to subjects that you could have worked through earlier in your case. Do not underestimate the importance of engaging in meaningful discussions with your co-parent before a divorce. Many of the most successful divorce cases that I have been fortunate enough to work on with people began before the client even hired the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Take it upon yourself to seek out your spouse and discuss with them to even file for divorce.

Finally, a positive attitude in your divorce case can only really get you so far. How you treat your spouse in the divorce can determine how they treat you back. Starting the point off with a spirited negotiation rather than an expectation that you need to litigate your case puts you on solid footing with one another and can make a tremendous difference in how your case proceeds. With that said, there are many other ways you can significantly increase the likelihood of settling your claim through negotiation rather than having it determined by a family court judge. Sometimes these factors play too sure divorces more often than others. However, I think there is merit to each of these items for your consideration.

Selecting the right attorney

When discussing divorce, we have already addressed how many people perceive divorce cases as journeys to the courtroom. Another misconception I would like to clarify is that hiring an attorney only makes the process more contentious and increases the likelihood of litigation.

The attorneys’ reputation is that our primary motivation is to make money or put ourselves in the first period; however, this could not be further from the truth. Attorneys are highly motivated to settle your case promptly. This is because they typically have multiple clients relying on their assistance. Resolving your case efficiently allows them to dedicate more time and attention to clients requiring more substantial support.

Many attorneys excel at informal negotiation. Phone calls and emails over time can add up to make a tremendous difference in your case when it comes to the negotiation process. Do not underestimate the role that keeping a line of communication open with your spouse can produce for you and your family. I have seen cases where spouses were not even talking to one another initially, and all it took was to open the lines of communication or a few phone calls or emails between attorneys. With that said, what are some steps that your attorney can work with you on to help further your goals of reducing the risk of a case where going to court becomes a foregone conclusion?

Key conversations in divorce cases

I had a couple of different conversations with clients at the beginning of a case, which seemed to make a big difference. First, I asked them to help me define goals for the patient. Your plans for a divorce may be completely different than another person whose circumstances look to be like yours. All of us are different, and that means that all our goals in a divorce would be other as well.

Only you know your specific circumstances as they pertain to your family, your children, and your post-horse life. Your attorney may know what your goals are for your case, but until you have an actual conversation with them about putting those goals in writing and working out a plan to achieve them, then you have not truly engaged in a goal-setting session. Make sure that your attorney is aware of your specific goals and how important each goal is. Sometimes in a divorce, you must move particular goals to the side to accomplish more important goals.

For example, you may have a goal in your divorce to retain as much retirement savings as possible while also splitting the possession time of your children with your spouse. While it may be possible to achieve both these goals exactly how you want them, you will more likely have to take a step back on one goal to further your goal in another regard.

Strategic property division in divorce

This goal-setting session could also be known as a gold balancing session. Learning how to balance the goals of your case while maximizing your opportunities to negotiate is an essential step in the divorce process. Importantly, it is a step that can be taken at the very beginning of your case. Learning how your attorney thinks through the problems of your case can also help you develop your critical thinking skills as it pertains to divorce. This is especially important if you have no experience with divorce.

Almost every family court requires you to create an inventory and appraisal of your property. However, just because this is a requirement for most courts does not mean that you all should not engage in the activity with a certain degree of creativity. Why not work with your attorney and their staff to create an inventory of your property and debts while using that as a jumping-off point to begin figuring out how you would like your property division to occur in your divorce?

I like to think about the property division aspects of divorce as an opportunity to think about creative solutions to your divorce. When it comes to your home, your retirement savings, your bank accounts, and one list of other properties that you own, the possibilities are endless as to how you and your spouse can divide up the community’s estate while ordering each other’s separate property.

Maximizing outcomes in divorce

Think of the property division aspects of your case, almost like having poker chips in the middle of the table. You and your spouse decide how to distribute the poker chips across the table to reach outcomes that work for everyone involved. On the go, shooting for more property in one area of her case to receive less in another place is something familiar. Again, the circumstances of your specific divorce will impact how you and your co-parent and spouse negotiate. It would help if you considered all the outcomes of your case, both in matters related to your children and in property-related issues.

This is truly where I think negotiation presents better outcomes than trial. When it comes to a problem, you and your spouse are both relying upon a family court judge to make decisions in your case for you. Your options are limited to what the judge considers immediately after a trial, where they have had to process a significant amount of information. On the other hand, negotiation allows you and your spouse to take in a lifetime’s worth of work together as partners, as well as the advice of attorneys throughout your divorce case. Do not underestimate just how critical it is to the success of your case; it can be to outline specific plans and follow through with them in the negotiation process.

Negotiation is crucial when addressing issues concerning your children in a divorce. Both parents typically prioritize their children’s well-being above all else. Leveraging your deep understanding of your children, along with creative problem-solving with your attorney and spouse, can lead to outcomes that prioritize the children’s best interests.

Considering the complexities of child custody, I firmly believe negotiation surpasses any decision handed down by a family court judge. Many families have unique circumstances regarding their children that deserve acknowledgment during divorce proceedings. As a parent, your intimate knowledge of your children far exceeds what a judge could acquire, even after an extensive trial.

Why trust a family court judge over yourself and your spouse in decisions about your children? Despite disagreements, your shared experiences with your children uniquely qualify you to make decisions for them. While judges may err on the side of caution with conservative custody orders, these may not suit your family’s specific needs, especially if your child has special circumstances.

One thing I will say regarding the negotiations on child custody is that these types of talks can become emotional period; if you know ahead of time that you are the type of person to become overly passionate about matters related to your children, then you ought to consider allowing your attorney to take the lead on negotiating with these subjects. That way, you can still accomplish what you need to, but you can use your attorney as a more objective intermediary to conduct negotiations on an emotional subject.

Conclusion

While popular media often sensationalizes divorce proceedings, especially in Texas, the reality typically involves negotiation in Texas divorce rather than dramatic courtroom battles. Unlike the cinematic portrayals of contentious litigation, many divorcing couples in Texas opt for collaborative approaches, seeking resolution through negotiation. This shift highlights the growing recognition of the benefits of amicable settlements, which prioritize cooperation, efficiency, and preserving relationships—especially when children are involved. By embracing negotiation over confrontation, couples can navigate the complexities of divorce more smoothly and achieve outcomes that align better with their needs and priorities.

Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are an excellent way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law and how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.

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Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Spring Divorce Lawyer

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it’s essential to speak with a Spring, TX Divorce Lawyer right away to protect your rights.

A divorce lawyer in Spring, TX, is skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, handles Divorce cases in Spring, Texas, Cypress, Spring, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, Houston, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County, and Waller County.

Negotiations as an Option in Texas Divorce